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Anyone had children in their 40s and never miscarried?

(36 Posts)
stubbornstains Thu 23-Oct-14 09:39:53

My heart is currently in my boots. I'm 40, 8 weeks pregnant, and terrified

. I recently discovered that a friend (aged 43) was pregnant, and 4 weeks further on than me. She had had a MMC 10 months ago, and was full of anticipation and hope as she was due to have her 12w scan in a few days. I've just received a message to say that she's lost her baby sad.

It's so, so sad, and so isolating- I can't talk to many friends, as of course few people knew that either she or I were pregnant.

There are also lots of sad stories on the TTC threads I've been on, and it's been playing on my mind.

This is such a horrible, isolating time- I feel totally exhausted, so am not getting out and seeing people that much, which is making me a bit depressed. I can't bear the thought that it might all be for nothing sad.

Please help cheer me up with lots of happy, positive stories of popping out loads of babies in your 40s with no problems whatsoever!

netguru2 Thu 23-Oct-14 09:41:50

Yes. 44 and mother to healthy happy six month old DD


zonkin Thu 23-Oct-14 09:47:06

Had my third child at 39 and fourth at 41 - both totally healthy. No miscarriages.

I do understand how you feel tho as when you get older you do hear of more miscarriages, etc. Spent my fourth pregnancy panicking but it was all fine. I had a reassurance scan at 8 weeks (privately) as I was getting so worried about it. If you have the money might be worth doing?

stubbornstains Thu 23-Oct-14 10:08:57

Thank you you two! (hoping millions more will be along to add their stories...)

I have been dickering about a reassurance scan.....I think though, because I live very rurally and there's probably nowhere nearby to get one done, I'll end up fretting and procrastinating until the 12 weeker.......x

wawabear Thu 23-Oct-14 10:09:46

My mum was 40 with me (29 with my brother) and never suffered a miscarriage.

People keep telling me to relax and enjoy it - it's easier said than done - but try!

stubbornstains Thu 23-Oct-14 10:11:34

Oh, are you pregnant too wawabear? I've promised myself that if I get to 12 weeks I'll let myself enjoy it! (will probably feel less crap by then, too...).

JammyTodger Thu 23-Oct-14 10:16:52

I had DS1 at 40 and am currently 20 wks pregnant at the grand old age of 45. I totally understand your fears. There is so much doom & gloom around older mothers, but despite GD and PRE-eclampsia, both of my pregnancies (so far) have been a fairly easy ride and I've felt well throughout. I am finally feeling very positive about having my sniffly newborn in March.

JammyTodger Thu 23-Oct-14 10:17:41

*snuggly, not sniffly smile

DaniAlvez Thu 23-Oct-14 10:18:20

Yep, almost 41 when I had my DD. She's one now and I'm knackered but happy! Uneventful pregnancy although she came 2 weeks early. Good luck!

TinyMonkey Thu 23-Oct-14 10:58:13

I had a mmc at 39, but am now 33 weeks with a trouble free (bar a touch of GD in these last few weeks) pregnancy at 40, my mum had me at 40, my sil had my nephew at 42, my friends have given birth to their first babies at 42 and 43 with no problems.

Don't google, and don't believe all the crap you read in the Daily Mail about older mothers.

Good luck.

Wolfbasher Thu 23-Oct-14 11:01:56

I had DC3 at 40, no miscarriages. Good luck, I know there's a higher risk of MC, but I hope you are one of the many successful ones.

Annarose2014 Thu 23-Oct-14 11:48:04

My mate had a little girl at 44, completely unplanned, they bricked it throughout. But she's perfect and her labour was only 2 hours long!

niminypiminy Thu 23-Oct-14 11:52:22

I had my children at 41 and 44 and never had a miscarriage. Good luck!

Foxeym Thu 23-Oct-14 13:24:35

I had DC3 at 42, he's just turned 1 and he was by far the easiest pregnancy

ChickenMe Thu 23-Oct-14 13:45:53

A friend of mine-43, first child. Had been told she couldn't have kids so he was a surprise. Her son is nearly two now.
I'm 38 and I'm scared too. Although I do know a lot of late thirties pregnant ladies atm who have had text book pregnancies so far and are close to term. Otoh I know s/o who had her first at 17 and the baby was quite ill - although he is fine now.
Take it one day at a time and look after yourself.

juneavrile Thu 23-Oct-14 14:25:57

A good friend had her 2 at 40 and 42, no complications, no miscarriages.

It used to be perfectly normal for women to have babies in their 40s. Then birth control meant that people tended to choose to have them earlier. Now things are swinging back to more 40 somethings doing it.

While there are higher chances of a miscarriage as you get older, there is still a far greater chance that you won't have one.
A reassurance scan is lovely, but they wear off pretty quickly. If you're very stressed you might be better off spending some money on a massage and finding ways to relax. That will do you more good than anything else at the mo. Take care.

stubbornstains Thu 23-Oct-14 17:08:23

Thank you everybody! It's good to hear all the positive stories.

I've booked my booking appointment with the midwife today- it's for next week, so that's a milestone to look forward to smile.

I intend to re- read this thread every time I feel worried!

ohthegoats Thu 23-Oct-14 18:21:57

I had my first baby two weeks ago at age 40, no previous miscarriages, and got pregnant the first month of trying.

notjustamummythankyou Thu 23-Oct-14 18:29:01

Yes. First child at (just) 40 and second at 42. No miscarriages.

I know it's easy to say, but try not to worry too much. While the risks are greater, there are lots of older mothers out there. Good luck!

stubbornstains Thu 23-Oct-14 19:12:33

Congratulations goats! cakecake << (eating for 2)

Greenrememberedhills Thu 23-Oct-14 19:13:23

One more at 40 and all ok.

GirlsonFilm Thu 23-Oct-14 19:17:57

Fell for the first time at 39 (after eight years of trying) DD1 born when I was 40, DD2 born when I was 41, all fine.

Congratulations and try to enjoy your pregnancy.

BikeRunSki Thu 23-Oct-14 19:18:36

Had mine at 37 and 40. No miscarriages.

Dogsmom Thu 23-Oct-14 19:24:28

I'm 39 so risks are pretty much the same as 40's and 21 weeks pregnant, I can feel her kicking happily as I type.

My downs result has come back as 1:6000 too which is way better than my dd who was 1:600 when I was 38.

Yika Thu 23-Oct-14 19:35:28

Had my DD at almost 44. Never had a miscarriage; pregnancy and birth were easy.

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