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Bad mummy

(13 Posts)
Biffalobuff Wed 03-Sep-14 22:09:18

I am really struggling with my DS and DD since becoming pregnant,today I had the day off with the kids (I work part time)we had the tv on almost all day.I did make meals,clean noses,wipe bums, change nappies, read a few stories and get littlest down for nap etc but other than the absolute necessaries I have done nothing with them.DD said this evening "Daddy we had the tv on all day and I didn't want to just do tv".I felt awful hmm
I just really couldn't manage anything else,between a non-sleeping toddler,the hormonal first trimester insane sleepiness and what appears to be pregnancy induced insomnia I am beyond exhausted.I also feel horrendously nauseous almost 24/7 and feel like am falling apart.I don't want to be a crap mummy but just don't know how to cope at mo.
At other times of exhaustion due to sleeplessness from DCs I have always managed to pull through with several cups of strong coffee in the day but even that is off limits!
Has anyone got any great solutions?Advice?
Feeling so low and annoyed at myself but don't know what to do.confused

Smartiepants79 Wed 03-Sep-14 22:13:56

Give yourself a break!
One day (or even several) of doing nothing much is doing no harm to anyone.
Your health and wellbeing is very important. Rest, if that's at all possible.
You know this wont last for long. Hopefully in just a few weeks you'll feel better and can start being a bit more of an active mum again.
Have got someone who can give you a break at the weekend maybe. Can daddy take them out while you just recharge?
Be kind, two small children in tiring enough without the pregnancy!

Bumpngrind85 Wed 03-Sep-14 22:21:33

Ditto. Give yourself a break. I'm 22 weeks now but when I was in first trimester I could barely look after myself let alone 2 other little bodies. One day of telly won't hurt. Sounds like you've got enough sense not to want that for them all the time. You need to take it easy when you can at the moment. I'm sure your little ones would be much better off with a day of telly than a mummy who is poorly from chronic exhaustion. grin

MaryRaeMikey Thu 04-Sep-14 01:45:25

My kids spent almost the entire 6 weeks holidays at my parents. I couldnt even complete the basics so had no choice whatsoever!! Dont feel bad, most kids would kill to watch tv all day lol It just shows what an ace mother you are at all other times!! xx

JennyBlueWren Thu 04-Sep-14 06:56:22

Apparently boredom helps develop the imagination. You're meeting their basic needs (fed, clean). It won't be forever and it won't hurt them.

Biffalobuff Thu 04-Sep-14 15:43:31

So today I decided to make up for yesterday as was feeling a bit more human this morning,did trip to museum then park and nipped to shops on way home,now feel even more exhausted shock
Clearly did too much,now can't pry myself off sofa to think about tea...So I have energy for either activities or meals,not both it appears...I don't even have anything quick like eggs in the house-my nipping to the shops was unfortunately not for edibles,did not think ahead!confused

wwbuffydo Thu 04-Sep-14 16:40:04

Dopnt beat yourself up - it sounds like you are doing fantastically well! I'm working and pregnant at the moment and I constantly feel guilty because I'm too shattered to do much with my DD. But the thing she likes best is to be around me, and she's 4, so she sort of understands that I'm tired because of the baby. I think reading stories and stuff is a brilliant idea - then they have your undivided attention, and don't feel bad at all for one day of TV watching - we have all done it and it sounds like they have a really active and exciting life for the rest of the time! Total kudos to you for museum and park activities - I am most impressed! Have you considered takeaway(I am what is known as a BAD INFLUENCE)?

KeepSmiling83 Thu 04-Sep-14 17:30:15

I am exactly the same. I am almost 11 weeks and feel sick all the time. I am working part time and am exhausted. I sobbed for an hour last night as all my DD wants is to be with me and play with me but all I can manage to do is lie on the couch.

I'm already worrying about how she will react with a sibling and this is making me worry even more! Hopefully we will start to feel better in a few weeks and can be a bit more energetic! But don't beat yourself up, I think a lot of us are in the same boat!

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers Thu 04-Sep-14 17:35:25

Sounds exactly like me 10 weeks pregnant and have two toddlers. It won't last forever (so I keep telling myself, mine just had pizza for dinner.....!) a few weeks won't harm them grin

Biffalobuff Thu 04-Sep-14 20:00:03

I found something in the freezer that I had made previously and required minimal effort thank goodness.
Potato waffles are becoming pretty common in our house at the mo,partly because they are quick but partly because I am addicted to them at the mo. have had way more cravings this time and most of them involve potatoes in some form with gravy.Not good,wish I craved cucumbers or watermelons or something healthy like I read apparently some people do??
Last night I really really wanted ready salted crisps dipped in chocolate,I think as long as I don't start feeding the kids that I'll count it as doing ok!
So relieved to hear I am not alone in this-though obviously it would be great if none of us were in this boat! Misery obviously does love company!Really hoping twelve weeks brings a new lease of life but I'm not counting on it..
WWBuffy my DD is same age but she doesn't know yet-she would tell everyone-she's been asking for a while for another brother or sister so she'll be fit to burst!
Big hugs to all going through it too!

wwbuffydo Thu 04-Sep-14 20:42:23

Omg crisps in chocolate sounds AMAZING!!!! When your wee one finds out (we waited till the first scan to tell her) you will be surprised how much she will understand and how protective she will be of you. Just hang on in there and things will get better I promise but in the meantime I think we should all be cutting ourselves a bit of slack- as that silly advert which makes me cry says- we are doing great.

pippinleaf Thu 04-Sep-14 22:10:49

Can you try play activities with your children (not sure how old they are) where you colour big sheets of wallpaper, make stuff out of cardboard boxes, see who can make the highest pile of Lego bricks, mess about with play dough, see what floats in water, etc, you can lay the stuff out in the garden or in the house and let them get on with it while you watch and award stickers for great imaginations? This only works if they're old enough to entertain themselves a bit - you just provide the stimulus and let it happen.

Biffalobuff Thu 04-Sep-14 22:34:17

Yes pinpin normally that kind of independent sensory/arts and crafts type play stuff works well with them but it's as though they sense something's up because they are both just over at me constantly at the moment whereas normally they would sort of potter about more by themselves.
Maybe once they know or at least oldest does-youngest not likely to take it in to be honest-they/she will be happier again.
I found a heartbeat tonight-had got my pregnancy box down from roofspace and Doppler was in it,160bpm so definitely not mine!Makes me a bit happier if I have to tell them earlier than planned-DD said I should go to the doctor about feeling sick lots and don't want her to worry-but had really wanted to hold off until scan.
Will prob try and hold off at least another week,scan isn't for 3 weeks though and doubt I'll make it that far without telling anyone and want DCs to be first.

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