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BFP at 41....scared and excited

(20 Posts)
BHR2003 Sun 31-Aug-14 10:49:57

Just got a BFP with 3rd child at 41, DD 12 DS 9, will be 42 when baby comes. I know it's v early days and the risks that come with an older pregnancy but really in shock as didn't think it wld happen due to age and the fact I've had some surgery and have only 1 ovary. Feel like I'm starting all over again because of the huge age gap, but sooo happy. Been researching the harmony test at the FMC and thinking I will go for this due to age, but wasn't sure if I still need to visit GP/MW or wait till I get these tests done first? Welcome any advice from older mums with big age gap like me and their experiences, thanks

ChickenMe Sun 31-Aug-14 10:54:47

Congratulations-I have no advice as I am 38 on my first and also scared cos of the age thing (thanks to the Daily Mail mainly)!!!

BHR2003 Sun 31-Aug-14 11:04:48

Thanks, yes think best to stay off the internet for while...

Annarose2014 Sun 31-Aug-14 11:11:42

Join your Antenatal thread on here - there will be loads of chat about Harmony tests soon.

DanyStormborn Sun 31-Aug-14 18:40:45

A lady at work had her first at 42. She felt so tired in the first trimester that she had lunchtime naps. She also had amnio as she had a high risk result for Down's syndrome (due to her age). But she had a very healthy pregnancy and a very healthy baby. They are both still doing great.

rockstars12 Sun 31-Aug-14 19:18:34

I can't recommend the fmc enough, we went there for the harmony. Are you london based as if you're able to get your care at kings, they do it there anyway I believe. Their fetal centre is brilliant. The head of fmc is head of Harris birthwright centre at kings. I'm only 29, but have high risk pregnancy due to twins and higher bmi. If you are in otherwise good health, there's no reason why you won't have a normal pregnancy.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle Sun 31-Aug-14 19:22:20

Congratulations thanks

girlwithgreeneyes11 Sun 31-Aug-14 19:31:20

Congratulations. I had my 3rd at 43 and all went well.

MissFruits Sun 31-Aug-14 19:52:46

Congratulations. My mum had my Db at 43, 23 years after having me! Apart from a few extra tests and advice changing over the years she says it was just like her other pregnancies and births

BHR2003 Mon 01-Sep-14 18:46:05

Thanks for all your positive messages. Apart from being a bit snappy (this coukd be due to end of school holidays creeping slowly...) I feel absolutely fine, didn't have any morning sickness with other 2 so maybe I will be lucky again.

Yes I live in london but not near kings, so think the FMC might be the best option for me and read nothing but good things about it. S

Still all feel unreal and suppose it will be for a while until I have first scan but very excited...

rightsaidfred Mon 01-Sep-14 22:28:08

Congratulations. I am 41 and 37 weeks now. This pregnancy has been easier than the last one 4 years ago. Last time I had a 1 in 4 risk of Down's and spd....... this time I got a low risk Harmony result at FMC and spd has only kicked in recently.
Apart from not wanting me to go over 39 weeks at the end my care hasn't been any different this time....... ready for it all to be over now though!

BHR2003 Tue 02-Sep-14 07:48:38

Thanks, I've read that a lot of "older" women won't be allowed to go over 39 weeks. Are u planning a natural birth or planned c section? I'm gearing towards the c section.

Sunbeam18 Tue 02-Sep-14 08:33:49

Congrats! I had my first at age 40 and absolutely no problems. They didn't want me to go over 40 weeks due to risks so I was induced and had a natural birth. All fine and healthy baby boy. Enjoy your happy news x

TinyMonkey Tue 02-Sep-14 10:02:02

Congratulations! I'm 40 and 26 weeks pregnant with my first and the physical side of it has been a breeze so far. My mum had me at 40 with 16 & 18 year gaps between me and my half brother and sister!

We had the Harmony at the FMC when I was 15 weeks, they were brilliant, the mini anomaly scan we had at the same time was really detailed and reassuring.

I was told early on that I wouldn't be allowed to go over 39 weeks, which is fine with me as I'm due close to Christmas! I think that as I'm having an problem free pregnancy I could probably argue my case about waiting to go into labour naturally if I felt strongly enough about it though. They will also monitor me closely from 37 weeks (concerns about the placenta in older mothers I think). I find it quite reassuring as I'm petrified of stillbirth. I've made it clear that I would prefer an ELCS over induction if it comes to it, but that's only because I've heard very few positive induction stories.

Good luck!

Churchillian Tue 02-Sep-14 11:51:39

Hi BHR, there's no need to have extra tests if you have no additional risks or family history. I had my daughter at 41, now expecting my second at 43 and my Downs risk was much lower with this pregnancy.

On the induction etc at 39 weeks, the policy on this varies by trust. Again if you have a normal pregnancy and are in good health and have had no issues with previous pregnancies there's no need to agree to this, as the medical evidence for this is shaky and you can insist on going to term, if that's what you would prefer. Older women do tend to gave more intervention in giving birth but that's because of NHS Trust policies, rather than inherent risk. I had a natural birth last time (with some unwanted intervention towards the end) and am planning on the same next time.

BHR2003 Tue 02-Sep-14 12:08:45

Thanks all so nice to hear all your experiences, will see how it goes and what the the local policy is. Currently sitting in park with a good friend dying to tell her but so early I will have to wait, She has just gone to get me a decaf coffee which she thought was v strange...

dolicapax Tue 02-Sep-14 13:33:06

I'm 41 too, and 17wks with dc2. Dc1 was born when I was 40. I haven't had an extra care in either this pregnancy or the last, and there are no plans to induce me at 39 weeks. I had a natural birth last time, and plan on the same this time round.

booksshoescats Tue 02-Sep-14 13:40:41

Congratulations! I was 41 when I got BFP for DD2. Have DD1 age 5, so not as big a gap as yours, but still it was a bit of a (nice) surprise. Now 42 and 31 weeks. I had Harmony at FMC and found it very reassuring - also going to have wellbeing scan there next week. I was pleased I was scanned at the FMC, as they picked up mild heart murmur. Although this had resolved itself by 20 weeks, if it had been picked up on my 12-week scan I would immediately have been classed as high risk and offered CVS/amnio, so having the Harmony info as well as the scan and regular bloods saved lots of worry.

If you are planning to give birth in the NHS, though, it's best to be in their system, so also have a 12-week scan there, as this will trigger your 20-week scan date and will avoid any confusion with your records. This is what I was advised, and from the experiences I've had to date I can see it was sensible.

My age hasn't been made an issue of at all - no one has mentioned it nor suggested I'll need to be induced at 39 weeks. If it's your only 'risk' factor, it really shouldn't be relevant.

booksshoescats Tue 02-Sep-14 13:48:17

Oh, and also planning a natural birth - had DD1 at home but may use MLU this time as it's looking like the baby will be pretty hefty and I am a little more concerned about things like shoulder dystocia (apparently more common with older women) and just the practicalities of pushing out such a big baby. DD was 8lb 4 and I'm not very big - this one was measuring 30 weeks at 27-week MW visit, and I have to have an episiotomy last time, so I think I'd find it comforting to be right next to the hospital just in case. MLU wasn't an option last time as it's fairly new.

Did you have c-sections with your others?

It's so weird the idea of having a baby in the house again, isn't it? I can't quite get my head around it grin

BHR2003 Tue 02-Sep-14 17:48:20

Thanks, yes I had wondered if I should still book in for normal NHS scans and when I should do this? Around 8-10 weeks? I know the FMC are offering nuchal scan with harmony test, so would take this up, but will have NHS scan aswell if that's the norm. I had 2 very long labours with bis babies, so this had been my reasons for considering a C section, but will have to weigh up the pros and cons. Just wants everything to go as smoothly as possible. Lived in a different area when I had my first 2 so need to check out the,local maternity facilities available.

Yes I can't believe we will have a baby in the house again, I know my older 2 will absolutely love it....just going to have to keep it between us for a while tho.

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