August baby - likely to struggle?

[marshaF]

Hi ladies,
I am currently expecting my first baby and my due date was 19 aug.
My friend, who also happens to be a primary school teacher, came to see me a couple of weeks ago and started a conversation about the likely disadvantages of my baby being born in August. She said that when she Starts TTC she will avoid the summer months from May onwards for this reason. This is not something I had considered, and as I said to her, isn't it a lot to do with parenting and what you do at home? She said that not only is my child likely to be behind at school, he may be bullied and not ready to go to school emotionally. I have been really stressed and upset about this ever since, as I feel like I have been selfish not thinking about this before I have even embarked on parenthood! I want to be really happy at this time and just excited to meet my baby, not obsessing about when he is born, but now I just feel anxious as she said I will need to decide to keep him back a year fairly early otherwise he may struggle throughout school. What do people think? Does anyone have experiences to share? sorry, I know this sounds like a trivial problem but I think my hormones aren't helping!

[3pigsinblanketsandasausagerole]

I think this is silly

I don't know why people go on about it soooo much

It depends on the child

I have a summer born who is in the year bellow my winter born. Younger child (summer born) is better at reading and maths, they write at the same level. Younger child also has excellent social skills. The only thing we struggled with with him was toilet training but even with that we managed it before school

[PuppyMummy]

you can't just decide to keep a child back a year (perhaps in the USA).

Im a secondary school Head of Year, it doesn't make any difference once they get to that age, so probably not worth worrying about.

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Your friend is an idiot. Why say any of that to you? It's not like you can change your due date (or when baby arrives)

I'm a teacher and it's true that many colleagues do try to time it so that they have winter babies. There's also research suggesting that August babies do start out behind their peers ( obviously!) BUT this evens out very quickly. I teach secondary and can never spot the August borns.

FWIW, I have two August babies (Ds2 shared a due date with your dc!) and school is not something I'll be worrying about... Yet

Ignore silly friend and focus on 'enjoying' the last few days of your pregnancy, then on meeting lo and enjoying summer newborn cuddles.

[mummybare]

Your friend sounds a bit mean. Why would she a) bring this up and b) be so negative about it when she knows when you're due?

But anyway, I'm also due in a couple of days and I really don't mind if he's born this month or next. There are pros and cons either way and any differences are usually small and can be mitigated for. If there are serious concerns you can request that a DC is kept back, but usually things even out quite quickly and the main thing, as a parent, is to ensure that they don't get despondent.

Plus you will have a year less of childcare to pay for that parents of kids born a couple of weeks later, which can make a huge difference.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

[GalaxyInMyPants]

I'm an end of August birthday.

I passed my eleven plus, went to grammar school, got loads of gcses, went to a Russell group uni, have two degrees and a masters. It never stopped me.

[cantpooinpeace]

My daughter is mid a June baby therefore one of the youngest in year but one of the top all round performers - I'm also an Aug baby and did ok in life/work.
Please don't waste any more of your thinking time on this!

[reup]

My august born friends probably have the most successful careers of anyone I know. Two of my childs friends are aug born and are both in top groups. His sep birn friends are in the bottom ones. Just because something is statisticallg likely it doesn't mean it will be like that for your child.

Also summer birns have a better likelihood of outdoor birthday parties- widens yr options!

[naturalbaby]

I have an August born boy. He is very bright and has been pretty much top of the class, learning to read in nursery and desperate to write before starting school.
There are plenty of August boys who do better than September girls.

[ElleDubloo]

My OH has an August birthday and he's done pretty well for himself :) The only downside is that he's a few months younger than me. But that's more a problem for me than for him

[Acolyte]

Some children will struggle academically whatever month of the year they are born, others won't. Whichever variety you've got, I'm sure you will do your best to support and help them through school.

I have an August child, her best friend is 2 days younger than her. He is average in class, she is targeted as gifted and talented.

The only thing I would day is her July born sister used to seem a little immature compared to her peers. Now she is in yr8 and she appears to be just like the rest of her friend's.

[callamia]

I'm an end of August baby, and I have never felt disadvantaged. I was the smallest in my class, but I'm still small - so I can't imagine a September birthday would have solved that. I did well at school, and I managed to have a PhD and friends! I'm neither socially /emotionally nor academically disadvantaged.

The thing that was rubbish though was having some of your friends on summer holiday when you had a birthday party.

[Tory79]

I honestly think it's down to the individual child. I imagine some September born struggle and are not ready for school.

My birthday is 31st August so I was literally the youngest person in my year, however I'm widely acknowledged to be very clever for me the major downsides came much later when everyone was learning to drive and turning 18 and I still had months to go!

[HalleLouja]

My birthday is 31st August. I went to a top uni and got a good degree. My friend's brother is late August and a barrister with a 1st from Oxford.

I loved being the youngest. Your friend should have kept her mouth shut.

[Mistyautumn]

As long as you spend time with DC teaching and learning through play there is absolutely no reason why your child would be at any disadvantage.

I would be much more worried by the attitude of your friend who is a teacher and seems to find it acceptable to write of a child academically based on their age in the year xx

[Mistyautumn]

*off not of - see being an October baby definitely not been an advantage for me

[Marcipex]

DGS has a friend born at the very end of August. He's the biggest child in the class and does maths with the year above as he's so far ahead.

All children are different.
Your 'friend' is not much of a friend IMO.

[Floralnomad]

I'm a summer born person and I was reading at 2 ( proper books and newspapers) and I have a 3 close friends with late July and August born children and in each of those cases the summer child is at a Grammar school , doing very well and is the brightest of their children ( 2 have 2 and 1 has 3) .i think this 'friend' is an idiot and I'd be quite concerned that she is a teacher ,personally she would be an ex- friend after saying all that just as you are about to have your baby . Hope the baby puts in an appearance soon .

[time2deal]

I'm an august baby, and when I was 10 we lived to Australia! Where I became one of the older kids in the year. Life is full of changes, it's a silly thing to focus on.

Not a great friend IMHO. Especially as you can't exactly change it!

[time2deal]

*moved to

[mssleepyhead]

Do to worry about it at all. I'm due any day now and don't mind when he comes. I'm a teacher in a secondary school and can't tell any difference between the birthdays. My friend works in a primary school and she said sometimes she notices developmental differences early on but these disappear by year 3 and are nothing to so with ability. And one of my best friends was born in August and went to Oxford.

I love it when people say things like "we'll avoid having a baby between May and September". Surely words only ever spoken by people who have never tried to conceive and don't realise how hard it is, to plan or time or anything!

Congratulations and the very best of luck with the arrival of your little one : )

[Mumzy]

All the people I know who were late august babies including my DH have never felt being the youngest in the class was holding them back and all went to university and had professional jobs. I think you are over thinking the situation. If you can afford private school some will let you wait another year if you have a late August birthday. All state schools that I know of ,unless your dc has significant SN, have strict age entry points and you can't dictate the terms your dcs start school. IMHO I think you are over thinking this.

[Greenrememberedhills]

We have August children too. Both have dive fine and the elder has finished Uni with a 2.1.

I'm August and have a number of post grad qualifications.

I do think its true they find it difficult when much younger - for example my daughter was very tired in the first term at school, and fell asleep when she got home.

But what gives them confidence is praise and quiet encouragement and a head start on the reading, with your help.

Anyway your baby may not arrive till September! My daughter was due September and arrived mid August and a friend at anti natal was due August and arrived September.

[Christelle2207]

My baby was born in august. I was TTC for ages so was just happy to have him.
One advantage of having an august as opposed to a September baby is you'll pay a year's less childcare! I think 4 will be young to start school but we'll just have to see how we get on. You can delay them starting but they would just join up with their peers later or in yr 1, not be held back a year.

[firesidechat]

I've heard this on mn before and was a bit about it. I had an August baby who is now an adult and she had no problems keeping up. She was bright, mature enough to cope and it never crossed my mind that this would be an issue.

My winter baby was bright, but not academic and had a harder time at school.

Babies come when they come and no point worrying about it. Your friend is being ridiculous because what exactly does she expect you to do about it now? Nothing you can do and scaremongering is very unkind.

[squizita]

I am a secondary teacher. I honestly wouldn't worry. By the time they're 16 or 18 it has evened out, and they come in to us in Y7 with friendships and social skills identical to their peers. It's not about the first few months of school... Its the bigger picture.

Also I've never heard of any RL teachers planning their TTC like that. Never been a "thing" at all. I think your friend might be fixating on her own hang ups (also if she worked in my team I might challenge her on why summer born kids are at such a "disadvantage" under her care... Because that is NOT universal. Its like the "girls don't like PE" thing .... Yes in some schools, but by no means does it have to be).

Choosing a good school with sound induction for younger in the year children will be important for you: such schools ARE out there. Schools where they don't bat an eyelid and transitions are smooth: don't worry. :)