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Getting through the first 12 weeks

(47 Posts)
Siarie Sat 16-Aug-14 20:17:09


I got my BFP today at 3w 2days and I'm just wondering how you all coped with the long wait before the safe 12w point where MC is less likely?

Roseylee20 Wed 03-Sep-14 18:43:17

Hi everyone.
Try and relax during the first 3 months. Like another member said, sleep is the best way, rest as much as you can if possible. Maybe even ask work if they can put you in light duties. Take care of yourself. I have heard that you don't have to worry too much about eating right in the first few months, diet wise etc, just eat what you can and you'll have plenty of time to catch up on getting the vitamins you need afterwards. Although try Pregnacare tablets which contain folic acid, vitamin D and iron. Good luck x

ControlGeek Wed 03-Sep-14 17:09:41

The shall I/shan't I tell people dilemma is awful, but you can only do what works for you. This time round I told more people prior to the ivf because I was very distracted and not doing a great job at work. I'm glad, now, because I don't need to invent excuses for my manager and closest colleagues.

Thank you babypod

As at yesterday's scan there was a little bean of around the right age (5 weeks) hanging on in there in the right place. Unfortunately they couldn't find the cause of the bleeding so I'm still playing the waiting game, trying to ride out the cramps and bleeding until my next scan on Tuesday next week.

Babypod Wed 03-Sep-14 16:05:39

So sorry Controlgeek xxx
I have seen it from both sides having not told anyone with my first mmc at 12 weeks and obviously by 18.4 we had been given the go ahead to share the news.
When people don't know they constantly put their foot in it without realising. I had many people asking when/if we wanted another baby.
However when everyone knows you have to let everyone know that it has ended. Not nice either. Especially when you bump into people that haven't heard. Both ways are hard but this time I've tried to tell nobody at all so guessing I found them knowing the hardest to deal with.
I keep telling myself to expect the worst but hope for the best, not easy. Wishing everyone a speedy next few weeks xx

OneDayLikeThis2013 Mon 01-Sep-14 16:27:27

Hi all, can I join you?

6+2 today, my second pregnancy. Unfortunately my first pregnancy ended in June this year at 10 weeks when I was found to have had a MMC. After a great scan at 6+1 where we saw the heartbeat, no cramping, no bleeding, still positive pregnancy tests etc, it really was quite a shock. Feeling very lucky that we caught again so soon but my paranoia/anxiety with this pregnancy is now through the roof!

I'm really upset with myself that I can't help but be negative about this one so far but I guess that's human nature after going through a MC.

Every day feels like a week at the moment!

Lindalove Mon 01-Sep-14 15:59:29

I'm not nauseous but very tired and feeling rather moody this week/tearful. I am finding the secrecy quite hard to deal with, so have told my best mate now, as its like carrying around this really heavy secret plus all your hopes & fears and having very few people to share them with.

Husband doesn't want to talk too much about it as he wants to get past 12 weeks/ is trying to manage his own anxiety so I think we both feel a bit lonely and sad actually! Its like we're not allowing ourselves to feel excited in case it all goes tits up.

So I'm 9 weeks 3 days and already a bit fed up! God knows how I would feel if I was also being sick loads too. Just want to have a 12 week scan, know that everything is okay or not, and then just get on with planning it/dealing with it. I'm actually thinking this whole first trimester secrecy thing is really unhealthy.

The only thing that stops me blabbing more is if I did lose the fetus - just don't want people going on about it, I'd not feel bad in myself as these things happen and I've done all the right things, but other people would be freaked out I think.

Lea2014 Mon 01-Sep-14 14:17:28

8weeks and sick already! Had a bad back since the day i bloody conceived i think sad this is my 1st and it will be my last!

ControlGeek Mon 01-Sep-14 12:39:23

Thanks babypod I've paid privately to have bloods taken last Friday and again today. The EPU nurse called this morning and because the bleeding has become like a normal period she's offered me a scan tomorrow. I think it's to check that the uterus is now empty.

Babypod Mon 01-Sep-14 02:38:08


Babypod Mon 01-Sep-14 02:37:42

So sorry to here you are bleeding ConrolGeek, are they checking your HCG is going up with the blood tests? Hoping for a positive outcome for you xx

capecath Sun 31-Aug-14 20:08:52

It is a rubbish stage of pregnancy. Not being able to tell people while you're feeling so awful and doing nothing. And feeling fat but not looking pregnant:P

capecath Sun 31-Aug-14 20:07:28

11+1 weeks here and dragging. "12 week" scan only at 13+3. Ugh. Today I am actually feeling a little better (I didn't throw up)! Been coping by napping when ds1 at nursery and ds2 is napping, early nights - going to bed after the boys... Definitely been more ill this time round! Been more relaxed about telling people with each pregnancy, so we have told family and a few friends and are now telling more people when we get to chat to friends privately, asking them not to say anything. I'd rather take those opportunities to tell friends personally when they come up. I'd probably want them to know if something happened to baby anyway.... Can't wait to get back into my morning swimming! Know this is just a phase and energy will return, hopefully soon sigh. Rkbump yes, bloating is very normal at this stage!

ControlGeek Sun 31-Aug-14 19:28:51

My anxiety levels are currently through the roof. I've had three days of red bleeding, exactly like my ordinary period. It's not showing any signs of stopping and all the out of hours and my clinic can say is wait and see, because it's too early for a scan (5+1 going on embryo age, 5+3 going on lmp). Having another blood test tomorrow as my local epu doesn't work out of hours, but even they won't scan me at this stage.

D0nnaO Sun 31-Aug-14 14:23:22

I'm in the same same boat! 5 weeks tomorrow with our first and we've known since Wednesday. I'm so scared that something is going to go wrong that I don't feel like I can get excited which my DH says is making the experience less enjoyable sad

Babypod Sun 31-Aug-14 09:14:06

Hi everyone, I have found out I'm pregnant again after having a partial molar pregnancy earlier in the year. It didn't get spotted until 18.5 weeks (the little bean managed to hold on longer than most do) at which point it's heart had stopped beating.
Trying not to freak out and worry non stop but of course I am. Had a scan the week just gone and having prepared for the worst and found out it is twins, both with heart beats. Total shock. Now I'm 9 weeks and worrying myself silly again until my next scan 11th Sept.
So nice to read we are all the same. Honestly it's all consuming isn't it agghhhh.

MEVA Fri 29-Aug-14 16:47:03

It is so nice to read this thread and know I'm not alone. It has been a horrendous 2 1/2 year journey to get here (est 6wks) and I still can't quite believe it is true - although no period and 2 pregnancy tests say otherwise!

I've told my family which helps I think, as having someone close to text/call reminds you that this is supposed to be a happy time smile Good luck everyone, thinking of you all x

Littlepeanutbump Fri 29-Aug-14 12:07:33

Hi all, just had to join this thread as my anxiety levels are off the roof! Is this actually a symptom, I am finding it hard because I have no idea what my cycle was so we are stuck on dates! Each day feels like a year! I keep worrying my bloat/ bump is getting smaller, symptoms are not particularly strong, just a slight bit of nausea, headaches and tiredness. Waiting for a letter from the NHS but wondering if we'll cave and get a private scan done. It's such a tough time isn't it! Wishng everyone well with this journey, hang tight ladies x

Chachah Fri 29-Aug-14 09:39:36

Here to hold hands.

I had a MMC at 13 weeks, so the decreasing risk stats aren't really helping me feel less anxious :-/

I will just try and forget I'm pregnant, I guess. It's so hard, but I will force myself not to make any plans or think ahead.

Firsttimer9981 Thu 28-Aug-14 21:09:34

I'd go back to the doctor if you're worried.

amylouisedawsondelaney Mon 25-Aug-14 13:09:25


im 18 and found out over a week ago i am pregnant. For the last 9 days i have been sick over 30 times a day! Is this normal? My doctor gave me some tablets but they don't work and im getting rather worried. Anyone who can help?

amylouisedawsondelaney Mon 25-Aug-14 13:09:09


im 18 and found out over a week ago i am pregnant. For the last 9 days i have been sick over 30 times a day! Is this normal? My doctor gave me some tablets but they don't work and im getting rather worried. Anyone who can help?

ControlGeek Mon 25-Aug-14 13:02:53

I got my BFP at 3 weeks 4 days so 12 weeks also feels like years away to me! I'm lucky(?) in a way though - my pg was IVF so I have been able to have blood tests to measure my hcg for peace of mind that the pg is progressing as it should.

To get through the next few weeks, I will be booking a 7 week scan and just trying to keep very, very busy!

Debbylou Mon 25-Aug-14 12:13:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Debbylou Mon 25-Aug-14 12:13:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Debbylou Mon 25-Aug-14 10:11:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Debbylou Mon 25-Aug-14 10:11:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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