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When did you/will you tell work? (non physical jobs)

(60 Posts)
minipie Thu 07-Aug-14 19:01:20

I'm 6 weeks pregnant and the tiredness and sickness has kicked in. (Also have an active and non sleeping toddler)

At the same time my boss is heaping work on me. I'm a lawyer and my hours are already pretty long and stressful. I just can't get through the work while feeling like this.

The usual convention in my office is not to tell until post 12 weeks, I think. But I'm wondering if I should.

I know there are some jobs where you really have to tell them early eg if you do anything physical or potentially toxic etc. But what if you're not in that category but are still struggling to do your job (or do it fully) while pg?

When did you/will you tell your work?

Elizabeth120914 Thu 07-Aug-14 19:20:03

I didn't till 20 weeks didn't want people to know my business I think most of the others had done by 12 tho..

FeatherFeather11 Thu 07-Aug-14 19:39:16

Told work today and I'm 14 weeks. Sweet relief! I think if you can hold off till the 12 week scan, then do, but if you feel terrible, might be an idea to tell your boss and ask him/her to keep it secret till you're ready to tell others.

Bondy83 Thu 07-Aug-14 19:40:18

I told my boss straight away he was brilliant made sure I was ok and didn't give me too much of a work load to cope with I didn't tell the rest of the team til after I'd had 1st scan

jennifer86 Thu 07-Aug-14 19:45:18

I'm 9 weeks and had to have a day off sick last week due to nausea / vomiting / general exhaustion. I would have liked to wait until after 12-14 week scan, but seemed to make more sense to tell them than lying about how/why I was unwell. I would advise to see how you get on, but you do need to put yourself and baby first at some point if you're struggling!

minipie Thu 07-Aug-14 20:09:23

Thanks all! Hmm I think i'll see how it goes next week.

A colleague has just offered to help me out with some of the work (he doesn't know I'm pregnant, he's just a lovely guy!) so that helps.

Feeling really sick though and still got more work needs doing tonight sad

Annbag Thu 07-Aug-14 20:53:37

I told my boss early at about 8 weeks but told him to keep it confidential. My morning sickness was so bad he was concerned I was seriously ill and it was getting awkward! I did end up in A&E with a bleed at 11 weeks (which all turned out fine) but it was good he knew so I didn't have to make up why I was rushing off. The rest of the office I told friends and immediate team after my first scan, the rest I waited until they noticed or the gossip got round!

I'd say it depends on your boss really, but they do have to do risk assessments, even if it's sitting at a desk and give you time off for appointments once they are informed. Hopefully they'll be understanding.

All the best with your pregnancy

Chipandspuds Thu 07-Aug-14 20:58:11

I told my manager and team leader at 11 weeks this time as I had been feeling quite rough with morning sickness and tiredness and then told everyone else after I'd had my 12 week scan.

ohthegoats Thu 07-Aug-14 20:59:18

18 weeks. Teacher.

ohthegoats Thu 07-Aug-14 21:00:47

Oh, and I've just been in to school today to find a list of jobs for me to do from my Head. I'm 33 weeks.. haha, just load it on over the holidays, that'll be nice. Ahem.

Redling Thu 07-Aug-14 22:03:50

I told my line managers at 7 weeks as I work with children and the public and was very vomity so had to have an adjustment as I needed to be able to run off when I needed to and pull myself together after. I didn't tell the rest of work until after 12 week scan. I just couldn't be running off to the loos in the middle of dealing with people without managers knowing I wasn't just being weird! It went on for weeks too so it was essential someone knew really.

hartmel Fri 08-Aug-14 03:00:12

7 weeks as I was sick in the morning and sometimes came in half an hour to an hour..
So because I worked as an insurance broker so dealt with public a lot.. Left at 18 weeks on sick leave due to stressful work environmental and round ligament pain. Then at 26 weeks started to get gall bladder attacks..

Holfin Fri 08-Aug-14 03:06:12

First time I kept it quiet until 20 weeks. Second time I had to tell them at 7 weeks as I was bleeding so needed time off to go to the EPU. Even then though only my Line Managers knew and I told my colleagues at 20 weeks.

CordeliaScott Fri 08-Aug-14 05:30:14

I'm a lawyer too and I told my boss at 6 weeks when I found out I was pregnant as I had quite bad morning sickness. She was really good about it and supportive. Whilst she didn't tell anyone most of them seemed to guess well before I officially announced it at about 10 weeks, following a scan. I found it easier to explain why I couldn't work long hours like normal rather than struggle through.

Congratulations by the way. I probably should have started the message with that...

PickleMobile Fri 08-Aug-14 05:35:10

I told my supervisor at 6 weeks (office job) I was feeling ropey and wanted her to know if I had to leave early or come in late or if I was off. Everyone else found out at 12 weeks after my scan including my manager.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Fri 08-Aug-14 06:47:36

Told boss at 12 weeks, told other people after 20.

natharley11 Fri 08-Aug-14 08:21:57

My tl knew from start she guessed before even did a test as I was very sick. We told my line manager at 12 weeks. Def helped her knowing as helped when was being sick a lot she was more accommodating

NanooCov Fri 08-Aug-14 08:31:47

I told after 12 week scan as I was struggling with sickness and desperate to tell them as I didn't want boss to think I'd suddenly got crap at my job!

SassehMonsta Fri 08-Aug-14 08:32:15

Told my boss at 6 weeks as was really ill. No co-workers to tell as its just us in the office!

furryleopard Fri 08-Aug-14 08:33:44

Congratulations! I very nervously told my line manager (and thankfully close friend) at 5 weeks because I'd miscarried 4 times previously I felt he needed to know I may have been off at short notice plus I anticipated lots of extra support at the hospital. I gave him permission to tell our Senior Management team if he needed to.

I told our big boss myself at 6 weeks she was so pleased and I felt I needed the extra support which she put in place for me (working from home, no evening meetings etc...) I'm glad I did after a bleed at 8 weeks she refused to allow me on the premises until I'd rested for a few days.

I told everyone else at 13/14 weeks, some of them had guessed anyway. It was a very happy day with lots of hugs.

WiggleGinger Fri 08-Aug-14 08:47:58


Another teacher here.
I told my VP ( in charge of cover Etc) at 6 weeks as is had a bleed & needed to go to EPU.
She was lovely & kept it to herself, logistically it made sense & also for her to know that if I was too poorly to come in / had any further issues meant she understood I wasn't just being lame!!! IYSWIM
Told our principle at 8 weeks so he was prepared & tbh they were both so amazing & supportive all the way through!

I also hold my dept and close colleagues as my job can be physical and I need others to lift things. (Oh and they still had to do a risk assessment so its worth telling them)

No one else new until after 20 weeks, but for me u had to do what worked in my environment.

DoYouWannaBuildaSnowman Fri 08-Aug-14 13:13:59

Congratulations smile

I told 2 people at work really early at 5.5 weeks - but I work for a church, and they had both been incredibly supportive while I'd been ttc and I wanted to celebrate with them! It was good to have a couple of people who understood why I was so exhausted and kept having to leave meetings to go to the loo.

Nobody else knew until after the first scan, which ended up being exactly 13 weeks. I didn't want to risk lots of people finding out before we got to the scan and knew it was all ok. Its a lot easier at work now I've told everyone, but I'm glad I waited.

m33r Fri 08-Aug-14 16:03:23

I told my boss at 6 weeks because we plan projects in financial years and were starting to talk about what we'd be doing in March '15. I couldn't look him in the eye knowing I (hopefully) wouldn't be there. He told the rest of the snr mngt team (with my permission).

Two of my staff team have guessed which is not ideal as some know and others don't but hey ho.

Pumpkinnose Fri 08-Aug-14 17:40:54

Lawyer too - last pregnancy I worked in private practice and told head of department at about 8 weeks as I felt horrendous. This time am hoping to wait til 12 weeks but depends on how I feel...

Brummiegirl15 Fri 08-Aug-14 18:34:29

I told my manager at 6 weeks as I'd had a previous miscarriage and work specifically asked me to tell me next time I got pregnant so they could look after me.

So I did, and they've been great, really supportive

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