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Constantly worrying

(11 Posts)
PerfectlyPosed Tue 05-Aug-14 16:05:21

I am pregnant with my first child and due my 12 week scan next week. I have already had a dating scan the week before last where they confirmed that it is very healthy, strong heartbeat and moving around a lot. However, I can't stop worrying. Every time I give myself time to think, I am visualising miscarriage or going full term and having a still birth and other things. It's getting to a point where I sometimes wish I wasn't pregnant as can't spend the next 30 weeks worrying like this.

Please tell me that this is just hormones and that these fears will pass. I'm not normally a worrier and so this is unusual for me. I know if I mentioned to anyone in RL they would tell me to calm down.

winterjellycat Tue 05-Aug-14 17:49:34

When I first found out I was pg with DS I had to do 10 tests and still thought I'd get to the 12 week scan and be told I wasn't actually pregnant and that I was wasting their time.

I think it's normal to worry a bit with your first, I also had all the stillbirth/miscarriage worries, but once you get used to being pregnant and have your scans etc you'll get more comfortable with it and hopefully become more excited and less worrisome smilethanks

Congratulations by the way!

BitchTits Tue 05-Aug-14 17:57:43


I am going to be brutally honest. It is scary as fuck being pregnant for the first time and not knowing what to expect. I used to get up during the night to make sure I wasn't bleeding. It is hormones and I found the whole process less scary talking to other mums and going to baby classes. If you are still worried further down the line then have a word with you midwife? Ask about surestart/mums to be groups and I promise this will ease your fears.
I was never a worrier either and as soon as that clearblue test said I was pregnant my life changed forever. I was responsible for another human being. Growing a little person inside of you for nine months is hard both mentally, emotionally and physically.
Keep chatting to mumsnet and remember that we all feel nervous at some point. smile flowers

PerfectlyPosed Tue 05-Aug-14 20:57:39

Thank you both so much for your replies. It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one! I think it will be such a relief when it's out in the open as have lots of friends who have had children so can talk to them about it. At the moment I just feel silly and paranoid but it can happen and I think I will have these thoughts right up until the end. I just want the dreams to stop as I'm waking up in a panic and, like you, checking for bleeding. Thanks again for your messages x

Happilymarried155 Tue 05-Aug-14 22:21:24

Totally normal! I have had two scans so far, one at 7 weeks and one at 10, due to a previous miscarriage and this vein an ivf pregnancy. Both have been great heartbeat soon, growth exactly on target but even that hasn't put my mind at rest! I've got my 12 weeks scan on Friday and have spent the last few days convincing myself that it's all gone wrong.

I think the whole of my pregnancy will be spent worrying about something and when it's born il spend time worrying about how it's sleeping, eating and growing! I think it's partly a preparation for motherhood! Do you have your scan date yet? X

ChickenMe Wed 06-Aug-14 09:32:35

I am the same. I'm considering hypnosis. Think I will feel better when I get the twelve week scan but it's like I'm too scared to be excited in case something goes wrong. I keep checking for blood too.

squizita Wed 06-Aug-14 10:12:43

Ask your MW for perenatal psych nurse before forking out for hypnosis. It sounds like you have pregnancy related anxiety (I do too).
They can give CBT style support which is enormously helpful, on the NHS.

It's a very, very common issue but taboo.

Gen35 Wed 06-Aug-14 10:21:58

It does sound a bit extreme, I do worry more when pg (thus is dc2) and have silly thoughts about my dc1 hurting herself when out of my sight and nightmares but when it gets to the point you wish you weren't pregnancy it's gotten out of hand, I agree with squizita I'd talk to your mw. Also, are you getting enoug rest? Sometimes these things are worse when tired, perhaps you need a few days rest? First trimester is exhausting but you feel you have to keep ploughing on.

kitkat321 Wed 06-Aug-14 11:12:00


After 2 miscarriages I was terrified when I fell pregnant again. I went to the 12 week scan expecting the worse only to find a happy, wriggly baby. For the 20 week scan I was dreading the worse - that we'd find out the baby had some sort of serious ailment but again we were met by a very healthy, busy baby girl.

I still worry every day - last night I had the most horrid stomach pains and my immediate reaction is to asssume the worst - turns out it's wind and baby is happily wriggling about again today.

I don't think I'll stop worrying until she is born - or maybe until she turns 18.

Try and relax and enjoy your pregnancy xx

PerfectlyPosed Wed 06-Aug-14 11:47:41

Thanks again for your replies. To say "I'm wishing I wasn't pregnant" is maybe a bit extreme and, of course, I'm not going to do anything about it but I just can't cope with this anxiety. I also had stomach pains last night but think it was more big dinner related than anything else grin

My 12 week scan is booked in for next Friday and I have a few days off around it to really put my feet up as I've been non-stop since I found out.

I am also seeing my MW on Tuesday so will mention it to her although she is mad so don't know what she might suggest!!

Really appreciate all your comments and the reassurance that I'm fairly normal

PerfectlyPosed Thu 07-Aug-14 12:16:22

Had a bit of spotting last night and immediately burst into tears and started panicking. After googling it and chatting through with my DP (which I haven't done before to be honest) we decided to sleep on it and see what happens this morning. Nothing more this morning and am feeling a lot calmer about everything. As one of my friends said, I need to stop overthinking as I don't want my memories of early pregnancy to be filled with negativity.

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