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How much do you do in a day

(44 Posts)
Mistyautumn Wed 30-Jul-14 11:45:21

I am on mat leave now and am finding it frustrating not getting as much as I want done. I am looking at a pile if ironing and washing up that I need to do and I just can't find the energy.

I really want to get the house all ready for baby's arrival but can't seem to get on top of it. I just feel really guilty as I thought when I wasn't working full time I would manage to get it all sorted. Please tell me I am not alone!

anotherdayanothersquabble Sun 03-Aug-14 23:50:36

In the immortal words of Jenny Gifford in Cold Feet. 'It says here that not all women experience the nesting instinct and they should not feel guilty or be made to feel guilty.' I think she might have followed it up by getting Pete to pay for a cleaner!!

ithoughtofitfirst Sat 02-Aug-14 18:38:32

Mmmm baking you say.... interesting

ACM88 Sat 02-Aug-14 17:41:24

Today I baked a rhubarb crumble and ate 90% of it, now I'm shattered! Little tasks is the key, nothing is that urgent that it can't wait!

Eatscones Sat 02-Aug-14 17:29:25

I have good days and bad days ... The other day I was doing errands, walking miles, cleaned the house, did the laundry, played with DD outside and felt super accomplished ... today I feel proud that I got out of my pj's smile

squizita Sat 02-Aug-14 15:41:55

I'm half way through tidying our bedroom (proper tidy, under the bed etc'). Feel like superwoman. A very slow, egg shaped version.

Mistyautumn Sat 02-Aug-14 14:28:05

So pleased it wasn't just me after all!!! Actually feeling quite proud of myself today. I have put some washing on and transferred to the tumble dryer (chucking it down here), done a load of ironing, done the washing up and most importantly spent some time cuddling the cat!!

fidgetywidget Fri 01-Aug-14 19:31:24

Soooo glad to find lots of other people in the same state as me! I'm 33+4 & I've just had a crap day at work where everything went wrong, came so close to crying about it, but I work with all men so managed to hold it in! I've just stopped my second job earlier this week & I think my body has gone into shut down, I'm exhausted! Supposed to be bathing dd (4y) now but just letting her play as I haven't the energy for the tussle involved with hair washing! Oh well, only 3 more weeks of my main job to go.
Last time I spent all of my mat leave before baby arrived painting 3 rooms, this time I'll be sewing name labels for dd starting school but I think that'll be about it! Hot weather definitely makes late pregnancy harder!

offside Fri 01-Aug-14 14:06:29

The day I went on mat leave I got struck with sciatica and it also happened to be only a week after we completed on our house so I felt absolutelu useless. Family and friends dug in and 5 weeks later we are in a suitable position to welcome baby.

For the past few days I've actually had loads of energy and have woke up super early excited about cleaning but when it comes down to it I just can't do as much as I think. Doesn't help that I mopped the floors and then DP comes home, doesn't take his shoes off and gets muddy footprints everywhere!! Definitely made me give up for the day! Not to mention the line of washing that is now piss wet through because it's pouring down!

MrsNutella Fri 01-Aug-14 13:41:23

cdwales it's fine to have a theory but I think it is also necessary to accept that we are all individuals and we all experience something different. squizita puts it very well.

Cupcakes123 Fri 01-Aug-14 12:06:10

I'm 37 weeks, mat leave just started. I am bloody knackered.
Just put the Moses basket stand together and it nearly tipped me over the edge! Am now recovering (by drinking DP's summer fruits and eating his posh biscuits smile)

squizita Fri 01-Aug-14 12:00:50

CDWales there is logic to pain during childbirth. It's very obvious and natural from a physiological perspective and makes perfect sense that it should happen. It is pain not harm It is muscular pain in the same way as marathon runners feel muscular pain: extreme muscle use over a long time hurts. Even the most dedicated distance runner or gym bunny will tell you extended and powerful use of muscles hurts ... all the more so because uterine contractions are muscles which do not get used (and indeed are involuntary for most of our lives) so it's a big surprise to the system when they start to!
What does vary from person to person is the extent to which the body can deal with the hormones and lactic acids produced, and the sensitivity of nerve endings and pain signals in different parts of the body. And, of course, the lie of each baby. This is why some people labour with relatively little pain compared to others.
In fact, painless labours are considered risky by some: the risks of not going somewhere safe (be that home, MLU or hospital) and alerting HCP in time (because painless labours don't mean less chance of tears, PPH or a cord round the baby's neck: again, a psychological assumption is less pain = safer but of course that's not the case).
Pain historically was very useful to the community in knowing when to gather up a woman and support her.

We are conditioned - for survival - by life to think pain = injury. Hence many people become confused by the idea of labour pain: especially in the modern era when we don't trek over mountains to survive.
There seem to be a lot of people who claim birth isn't painful but IMO this is almost missing the point - selling to us 21st century yummy mummy want to hear solutions to everything (we don't want drugs, but we don't want pain).

I know someone for whom this attitude caused significant mental health issues. She was convinced there was a 'method' to feel no pain (not even hypnosis, just a liefstyle) and blamed herself for a (healthy but long) labour.
It wasn't the pain that traumatised her, so much as believing she could/should have engaged some method to get rid of it.
It's there for a reason. Thankfully we no longer need it (so people can use drugs or hypnobirthing or birth skills), but you can't just wish it away...

ithoughtofitfirst Fri 01-Aug-14 11:34:16

It's all about feeling calm and in control.

She says. hmm

I feel SO guilty today. My like ds is on the prowl looking for things to entertain him. I'm just lying on the sofa drifting in and out of sleep. I'm withdrawing from my ADs and feel horrendous.

I'm not getting ANYTHING done.

cdwales Fri 01-Aug-14 10:57:38

I have a theory - if you are obedient to your brain during pregnancy it may not need to clobber you with pain during labour! Be compliant as it is in charge and has a vital job to do...
I had two deliveries with no pain and I did not know Stage one was even happening. There is no logic about the pain during labour - it only muscles contracting as they were designed to do.
Of course we dare not mention this in conversations with other women as for some weird reason they seem to take it as a personal criticism!!!! Sometimes our eyes meet though.

MrsNutella Thu 31-Jul-14 20:24:53

Ahhhh this is the thread I needed today! So glad I'm not alone!
I'm 40+1.
Thank goodness DH has been working from home a lot lately <read doing the minim of work and taking DS for a walk most days>. I've started getting a bit of PGP type pain the last few weeks. I feel so sorry for DS (he is a super active 18 month old) because I am so boring. If I do too much I really really pay for it and it's driving me nuts. Thanks goodness I know it's almost over.

If only the stupid people walking their dogs outside would separate them so that they stop ducking (haha auto correct) barking! Seriously people! What's wrong with you!

ithoughtofitfirst Thu 31-Jul-14 20:16:52

And cut my nails.op

ithoughtofitfirst Thu 31-Jul-14 20:15:40

I had a shower today.

Advancedtech Thu 31-Jul-14 19:59:58

I'm on a mission, 7 weeks to go and this week I have decorated my kids bedroom, built new furniture for them and replaced my fencing inky back garden.

I have taken the summer hols off with my 3 DC's as holiday leave before I start my maternity leave and I still have 2 more rooms to decorate and a garden to finish by laying decking, digging flower beds etc and just generally get the house straight and have a huge clear out!

I'm going to chill out and relax the for the two weeks when kids are back at school before baby is due!

squizita Thu 31-Jul-14 19:21:41

I am having a massive anxiety flare up and spending most of my time lying on my left side monitoring movement: not because logically I have any reduced movement (I don't) but because I weirdly hardly believe the movement I feel/see and an anxious voice within says 'it's just gas'. Foot shaped gas my arse. sad
SO frustrating: if I wasn't on holiday I would still be at work. There is no excuse, I have so much to do and I hate lying here in fear.
My count the kicks bracelet is at its usual level for the time of day but I still have horrible feelings I'm fooling myself. sad

Might have to force myself to go out tomorrow.

allduffedup Thu 31-Jul-14 19:12:52

Gosh goats take it easy!

I can't wait for mat leave - one more week to go! I'm 36 weeks and have a strong urge to nest, but no time. I'm still working full time, and evenings/weekends are filled up with pregnancy yoga, hobby, painting the nursery and meet ups with friends.

ohthegoats Thu 31-Jul-14 15:56:49

Yesterday I did three coats of paint on top of plaster in a bedroom, including the ceilings. I went out and bought said paint, did a mini food shop, washed up, ate reasonable food prepared properly, cut up a carpet, threw it out the window, loaded up carpet and underlay into the car to take to the tip first thing this morning, pulled up carpet tack stuff around the room with a crowbar, hovered, moved a king sized mattress into said bedroom onto the boards, set up a bed, had a bath...

... today I can't really move very easily, so have managed a short trip to Wickes, a disappointing 10 minutes of cutting on of the new paint colour around the window, eating of a sausage roll and some cherries, and a LOT of sitting down internet window shopping'.

So, some days loads... some days pretty much nada. Later I might read a book about breast feeding or sleep training.

Absofrigginlootly Thu 31-Jul-14 15:51:55

Ah good me23 glad you're having treatment....thought you probably were but you never know! Also, sorry didn't know you were a midwife! blush....... You would know way more than me then!!! grin

ithoughtofitfirst Thu 31-Jul-14 14:28:46

Oh no carnage! I couldn't cope with that either.

I'm having another day of doing nothing other than looking after DS.

I feel less guilty today. I just think I won't be like this forever might as well milk it.

squizita Thu 31-Jul-14 11:09:50

Redling sad I had that kind of day last week. Plastering the spare room, the plasterer broke the radiator, which in turn broke the heating and flooded the room. When cleaning up the hoover broke.

Yup. Give up and hide. People can solve this for you.

Redling Thu 31-Jul-14 11:01:11

This morning the Hoover broke, a bookcase collapsed and somehow my fridge door came off the hinge at the top! My response to this has been to retreat upstairs to bed as I can't cope with that much! My parents are visiting tomorrow so DH and them will have to sort this for me, I'm too pregnant for this chaos sad

DearDinah Thu 31-Jul-14 11:00:13

Me too, been on mat leave for a week & it's like I've been hit by a train of tiredness, and it seems since I announced my leave, every man & his dog wants me to do something with them! I did loads yesterday, today I feel like lead!
I'm not cleaning anything today!

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