I'm really just here for a bit of advice as I'm sure many of you here have been in my position. My partner and I got foolishly carried away a few weeks ago and yesterday I found out I'm pregnant. Conception would have been 3 weeks ago today, so thankfully I'm still very early.
We are in the worst possible situation to have a baby right now - we will be moving house in 3 months. My partner is having tests as he may possibly have a heart or blood pressure condition. He has a good job but I have handed my notice in to a job I have detested due to the stress it has been causing me (I suffer bouts of severe depression and anxiety, which have flared up again recently) and I've just started a course to retrain in a field I really want to pursue a career in.
These factor's make our life and financial situation very difficult for the next few months, but otherwise we are really happy as many of our changes are positive and although he still has to have tests he is very fit & healthy on the whole.
We are planning after the move to rent the house out in order to finally travel as we have talked about it for so long, then we will settle down in my new career and start a family in around 2 - 3 years (I'm 28 he's 31 - we've been together for 12 years), when we feel we will be better parents for having travelled and seen the world (this is something that has been an important factor in planning our future - it probably sounds silly but I know I will be a better Mum for having the experience of travelling).
I want to have a family more than anything, it is the most important thing to me when I look at my life as a whole, but just not quite yet. Many of my friends have or are having babies and I've had a searing jealousy at times.
I never ever thought I would consider a termination because I naively thought that if it did happen by accident then maternal feelings would take over and nothing else would matter.
I'm ashamed to say that right now, at this early stage I feel nothing and I'm leaning towards a termination, but could I go through with it? Could it affect my future fertility? Can I cope with the guilt/selfishness of such a decision?
Then suddenly (even as I type) I change completely and have a feeling of how wonderful it could be, we would be great parents together and I know I would love a baby to the moon and back, plus my family would be ecstatic. Circumstances will never be perfect and maybe we can travel with a little one?
I'm completely shell-shocked, part of me keeps thinking that something was wrong with the tests and my period is just late because of my stress levels. I also feel so guilty as I know so many people struggle to conceive, yet it has just happened to me - I should be grateful.
I am trying to let it sink in today, then go to the doctor's tomorrow.
If you've reached the end of this, thank you so much for reading my ramble and any advice you could give me would be so appreciated.
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Pregnancy
Unplanned, very confused and in need of some help/advice
13 replies
lala85 · 20/07/2014 14:15
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