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Just a sad whinge(7 Posts)
Some of you know my history re: battling eating disorder & 17 years of IVF to get to this stage...
Had 20 week scan today
1. Midwife said, "I'll have to push hard as your tummy is well padded". Yes I know & you could have said it in a much meaner way so thankyou for your subtlety....
2. I call my Dad (who has clearly forgotten our plans for the scan) & he asks, "Has anyone asked why you're extra-fat at the mo?"
The other grandparents-to-be are so disinterested that at 12 weeks they didn't even ask when the next scan was & it turns out they've ordered a new dining room table with only 2 chairs so clearly their future plans don't involve us. Plus they've turned their one & only spare room into a second lounge so it's not as if they're allocating room for a travel cot.
Just down today.
Sorry for the whinge.
The sonographer said to me: "can you hold your stomach up, so I can see better". He meant lifting the flap of fat that hangs down to my groin. Lovely. [ANGRY]
You Dad was just being a typical Dad - interested by insensitive! He probably was just trying to be funny.
Just because your inlaws are making some household changes does not mean thy are not interested!
Hope you are feeling better soon. Did you ask about the baby's gender at the scan?
I would have liked to have found out the sex as I'm a very practical person but I also had to respect DH's wishes that he didn't want to know....which is just as well as the baby was all curled up & snuggly & not giving anything away.
I am so bruised from where the sonographer was pressing - I'm a deep purple, grey & black for the entire width of my belly & it's my own fault.
My in-laws called me selfish when we told them that after decades of IVF (all privately funded by me & DH) that we were successful on the basis it's their "turn in life to be selfish & I've put them in an awkward position because they want to be commitment-free & this means nothing to them" DH was gutted.
It was my dad's comments when I was a child that led to my eating disorder...he's learned nothing.
Ugh, it's just a bad day - tomorrow will be better. Thanks for listening
Really hope tomorrow is a better day for you. What horrid comments from your in laws, I thought my dh's family were bad but that is just awful. Sending big hugs
that comment from your ils is unbelievable! Your poor dh and you. Be kind to each other over the next few months and all the best with your pregnancy. I hope you manage to get more support from other friends and family
I hope you have lots of other support, or at least you and OH can grumble about the in laws together. Mine are totally the same, after I had a miscarriage with my 1st pregnancy MIL said; that's what you get for not being married.
I think some generations just don't know how to empathise.
You know it's emotional being pregnant and you need extra calories when you are building a baby, it's very tiring and a lot of work, so you need extra, that's why pregnant women crave more food and put on weight, so they give the best bits to the baby.
I hope tmrw is a better day xxx
Thankyou to you all
Head is in a better place thanks to you & DH & my closest friends in RL. I'm very lucky to have a fab employer too
I am sure there will be many more down-days but for now, I'm off to bed feeling positive.
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