Perineum massage - I can't even...

[Lalalax3]

Do I HAVE to do this? Ok, stupid question, I know I don't have to, but should I? Really? Does it make much of a difference?

One of my friends keeps sending me links to perineum massage gel and telling me to 'get on it' but I've watched a video of how to do it on YouTube and it looks SCARY! (Yes, yes, I know giving birth is scarier but I have to do that)

Have we any 'before' and 'after' success/failure stories on here?

[STOPwiththehahaheheloling]

Well i didnt do it so cant help with before or after story but what is it that puts of you off?

[spence24]

I've been researching this a bit too, and have figured that anything that may help stop me tearing (as it seems to be my biggest fear, linked with not wanting to have to stay in a hospital!), is worth a shot!

[Lalalax3]

Have you seen it on YouTube?! You have to really get in there! I'm not sure I can even reach that far!

[STOPwiththehahaheheloling]

Would your partner be willing to help out?

[HeyMicky]

I bought an Epi-No. No idea whether it made a difference, as DD is my first, but no tears or grazes, and she was back to back and came fast at the end

[Lalalax3]

My partner would run screaming for the hills if he knew what it involved!

[LavalavalavaLamp]

I did a bit, maybe every 2-3 days for a couple of weeks so not loads. Had to have an episiotomy and read 'rigid perineum' in my notes. So my point is that I suspect that you have to do quite a lot to make a difference but that it's not necessary for all women/births.

[SqutterNutBaush]

I did the massage (not quite sure why you think it looks scary?) but ended up with an Emergency C-section due to DS having the cord around his neck twice so cant say whether it wouldve helped or not.

My mum was advised to do it in her last pregnancy (twins) and ended up with 1 precautionary stitch with no tearing/epesiotomy. I also have 2 friends who did it and neither had any stitches but i guess its hard to guarantee if this was the reason or if it was just luck.

[scarletforya]

NO! Jesus, why would you deliberately make your own fanny baggy!? It's nonsense, if you tear they'll stitch you!

[MagpieMama]

I got my DH to do it
I did end up with a second degree tear as I couldn't stop myself from pushing when they told me not to. I guess the tearing could've been worse with the massage prep? We did it once a day for 2-3 weeks before the birth.

[LucyB1]

I gave up. Couldn't reach and hated doing it.

[Annonfornow]

Scarlet it has nothing to do with making your fanny baggy its about making the skin and miscles more flexible to minimise risks of tearing.

Its also not just as simple as being stitched back up after a tear, there arevthousands of women out there (a fair few on here too) who have been sewn wrongly causing lifelong issues at worst and long periods of discomfort and operations to repair the damage.

[Annonfornow]

Muscles not miscles

[Lalalax3]

Argh, so many for and against.

Ok, so I'll try it. If it's not too bad I'll carry on. If it freaks me out I'll stop.

[Somersetgirl1990]

My mil's a midwife and she's told me to look it up I ride horses and she said riders and dancers have more problems due to the muscles being stronger I guess I always thought it was the other way round and riders had an easier time giving birth!

[rootypig]

I did perineal massage AFTER I gave birth to deal with the scar tissue from my second degree tear.

Next baby, I will be doing it beforehand. What harm can it do?

[cosmicnibbles]

I did it both times, 1st time I only started at 36 weeks and dd arrived at 38.. Back to back, nasty tear, healed badly, had to be repaired later.

2nd time, paranoid about tearing started around 28 weeks,very quick birth- no stitches required.

Mw said she fully expected me to tear along the scar and it must have been down to the perineal massage that I didn't. used vitamin e oil from holland and Barrett.

Good luck op!

[SourSweets]

I couldn't even reach that far past my bump! I tore but they stitched and now you would never know. The vagina is designed to have babies come out of it, I don't think any amount of rubbing and stretching is going to make anything better or worse.

[TwigletFiend]

Somerset, I believe with riders the problem is down to toughened skin of the perineum rather than a muscular problem. Kind of like walking around with bare feet gives you harder, less flexible skin on your feet as protection, riding allegedly does the same with your perineum (though pretty sure mine doesn't come into contact with the saddle that often! ) which is why perineal massage is supposed to help.

[thebestnameshavegone]

i did it for the first time last night. well, I didn't because there's no way in the world I could reach round the bump. but dh did the honours. its not the most dignified thing in the world, but it was fine.

am 34 weeks and am planning on doing it every couple of days until birth. It can't make things worse, so I think its definitely worth giving it a go.

[HeavenK76]

had 5 kids by vb and 1 emcs, never had a big problem with tears, got 2 tiny stitches with 1st, 1 with 2nd and none after.
pg with no. 7 now and don't intend to do anything of this sort.
women have been giving birth since forever, I find these things a bit freaky tbh.
just my opinion regarding these new 'inventions'

[KatharineClover]

I have just read a book on active birth, apparently tears are rare with active positions for labour e.g standing supported squat, kneeling etc :)

[rootypig]

I cheerily planned on an active labour, and then was in overwhelming pain for any position other than my back. The midwives kept trying to get me on my knees, and every time I vomited it was so agonising Still really don't know why.

[frannie2013]

can anyone recommend links to how to do this? the thought freaks me out too but think i'll try. i'm 29 weeks so should start soon... (I've heard using a vibrator helps with the 'angles'...)

[kubbs]

never heard of a perineum massage before and currently in shock! I'm 7 weeks, hope they change the advice before I'm due!!