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People commenting that I am too big .Upset :(

(30 Posts)
Estrella1 Thu 12-Jun-14 15:38:35

I am very upset right now. I was always sensitive about comments about my look. I am 20 weeks pregnant and I am not overweight at all. Today decided to treat myself 2with a new dress and in the shop there was this woman who asked me how many month I am , when I said 5 she was like "What? Is it twins? I can believe you are just 5 month. You are so big. Are you sure its just 5, etc etc.". I went out of shop crying and feeling like a monster. husband just called me unreasonable and immature, but I cant stop being massively upset.

Pregnantagain7 Thu 12-Jun-14 16:15:22

I'm not surprised you're upset what a horrible woman! Unfortunately most people seem it have an opinion on the size or shape of your bump because you are pregnant you seem to become public property!
If anyone says I'm big I just usually smile and say that's funny because that's not what my midwife said when I saw her yesterday or I just say yes I'm big I must be doing a very good job!

trikken Thu 12-Jun-14 16:20:29

Ignore them. People are weird. I got people saying I looked big and others saying small all in in one day!

RoseberryTopping Thu 12-Jun-14 17:06:57

Aww OP, don't feel like that sad it is frustrating when people think it's perfectly acceptable to make comments on your size but I think a lot of the time it's just that they don't know what else to say and misguidedly think it's a compliment.

Your husband could be a bit more supportive though! It's really hard having your body change beyond your control, never mind the hormones that go with it.

Estrella1 Thu 12-Jun-14 17:16:58

Thank you guys! It's my first pregnancy and I dont know which size should I be. Obviously I am feeling big and fat, and when someone is pressing on hte painful blister like this...I am not overweight, I am really careful about my food.
Husband is not getting it at all, accroding to him I should be happy all hte time and if not- I am hurting baby. Now I also feel guilty for crying. Its terrible.

crumpet Thu 12-Jun-14 17:19:09

I was enormous when I was pregnant- put on 3 stone with each of mine - normal weight was 8.5 stone, so another 3 stone is a lot, especially as I am not tall. No getting away from it, I was a whopper and by the end could use my stomach as a shelf. Not sure I remember any comments, but it's not something that would have fussed me.

crumpet Thu 12-Jun-14 17:20:32

The thing is, you are pregnant, and getting fat is what happens. Perhaps try and embrace it more, and watch in awe as your body goes into action in the creation of your baby.

eurochick Thu 12-Jun-14 17:21:57

I was in the US at 22 weeks and a homeless man shouted at me in the street "it must be twins in there". Lovely. Nope, just one smaller than average baby. Everyone has an opinion. Don't let it get to you. I have been told I am both big and small on the same day before now. Ignore ignore ignore.

Geminiwitch22 Thu 12-Jun-14 17:27:07

To OP hubby, are you going through hormonal changes where your body is getting bigger, producing extra bits, swelling, overheating, tiring or feeling like your not in control? No? Then don't say how OP should feel cos you'll never understand, support do not s**t on. (sorry had this discussion with man at work).
Ignore the store person they are an idoit, my family turned around and said no way your nearly 9 months pregnant! I said you want to see my notes or feel my dilated cervix? Don't let them get to you. Go get yourself that dress and if someone questions you, say something like doesn't this flatter me? Or even thats the totally wrong colour for you don't you think? Or my fav I did in a shop, does this make my pregnant boobs look to big (sales assisant size 4 me size 20 due to muscular shoulders.) Hope this cheers you up!

Pobblewhohasnotoes Thu 12-Jun-14 17:27:56

Being upset and stressed won't hurt the baby and you need to tell your DH this. You're allowed to be upset and hormonal and feel rubbish and everything else that goes on with pregnancy. Your DH really shouldn't be saying these things.

I totally understand OP, I'm petite and my bump is big, it just sticks straight out. Probably because there's no room elsewhere for it. I've had endless comments about having twins, my bump being huge etc. It's really bloody irritating and there's not much you can do about it. Don't get upset. You're growing another human, what do people expect?

Ourma Thu 12-Jun-14 17:36:33

Try not to let it bother you. Not trying to upset you but just warning that you are likely to get a lot more comments like this before you have the baby. Just because your pregnant everyone thinks they can comment. It's very annoying but they are really clueless. Pregnantagain7 has some great come backs there, have them up your sleeve next time. I used the first one alot cause I was constantly being told hope big I was when I was in fact having weekly monitoring for being small!! Made me laugh in the end.

ClaretAndBlue30 Thu 12-Jun-14 17:36:46

For some reason being pregnant seems to give people license to comment!! Drives me mad.

Please try not to worry (wish I could take my own advice!) You are doing an AMAZING thing growing a baby grin

Ourma Thu 12-Jun-14 17:37:03

how not hope.

Lozmatoz Thu 12-Jun-14 18:47:51

Silly bitch! I'd feel the same as you too. Some people are just thoughtless and insensitive. You're not immature and unreasonable at all, sounds more like your OH is.

Treat yourself to a big bar of chocolate, a cup of tea and tell yourself how wonderful you are. Big hug!

AdoraBell Thu 12-Jun-14 18:54:14

People are stupid.

Don't get upset, get bolshie!

Ask them exactly what size you/ bump should be and don't accept a wishy washy "not that big", you want a precise mesuremant. That should shut them up.

VJONES1985 Thu 12-Jun-14 20:46:53

I had those comments from everyone at work and it used to upset me but I soon got bored of it and ignored them. Made me feel even better when I had a growth scan two weeks ago and was told that the baby is a perfect size and I have a normal amount of amnio fluid! So basically, people think they are experts but they're not so just ignore them.

Monkeybrain10 Thu 12-Jun-14 22:03:44

People always like to give their opinions. Try not to take it personally..I've had loads of people say "there's no way you will go full term" because i am apparently so huge (basically i am pretty skinny with a big bump!) but equally a bunch of other people have also commented on how small and neat i am....not sure which to be more concerned by so decided that they're all mad!! I've actually been quite enjoying the fact that people take such an interest. Every one carries differently and i am sure you look fab!

VJONES1985 Thu 12-Jun-14 22:10:46

At least you haven't had my experience tonight - went outside my front door to put something in the wheelie bin and I'm wearing pyjamas that fit quite tight around the bump. Two boys were outside (looked about 11 years old) and one of them called me lard arse. Ha ha!!

everlong Thu 12-Jun-14 22:18:03

When I was pg with ds1 many years ago I was tiny.
7 stone and in size 8 clothes at 6 moths pg.
People commented on how small I was all the time. This made me worry and cry. He was 8lb 1oz.

Us women can't win! As long as the midwife is happy with your baby's growth try to chill. And ignore twatty comments.

sittingatmydeskagain Thu 12-Jun-14 22:22:39

A sales assistant once commented on how big I was (around 5 months pregnant). I just said "pregnant? You think I'm pregnant!?!".

Very flustered man!

(mind you, he was already annoying me as he was trying to hard sell a bed)

AdoraBell Fri 13-Jun-14 04:06:19

grin well done Sitting

Estrella1 Fri 13-Jun-14 10:15:41

Thank you all so much for taking time and calming me down! You are all so wonderful. I feel much better. Your support meant a world to me! Big hug to all of you.

squizita Fri 13-Jun-14 11:43:52

I got people saying I looked big and others saying small all in in one day!

Exactly this!! Get it regularly.

Have even been advised I should dress so it looks average (i.e. no tight clothes so it's big, no loose clothes so it looks small). To fit in with assumptions. hmm

VisualiseAHorse Fri 13-Jun-14 11:44:13

Here's a good example of how people have NO idea how far along someone is. A friend posted her naked bump on Facebook the other day, with "guess how many weeks I am".

She got everything from 16 weeks to 35!! Some people thought she as ready to pop.

Personally, I was HUGE by about seven months, or so everyone kept telling me. But when I look back at pictures, I really don't think it was that big of a bump.

BeckaH123 Fri 13-Jun-14 11:54:33

I got people saying I looked big and others saying small all in in one day!

Yep, had people commenting on my bump the other day (I am only 14 weeks and it is there but small). I then went to a BBQ and all my friends were incredulous about me being too small.

Comments are one thing but I am dreading strangers touching me! I have heard some horror stories about strange men on the street coming up and rubbing your belly shudder.

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