Phantom pregnancy or desperate to be pregnant

[Kate123m]

It's like this,
The very rare times that myself and my hubby actually have a romantic time and complete the sexual duty, I'm tortured for weeks, with false symptoms, but real symptoms of being pregnant.
We have gone through this for a couple of years now. Should we be going for IVF treatment???
My hubby has diabetes type 2. It's had a massive effect to our sex life. I don't want to make an effort much of the time incase it embarrasses him, but on a rare occasion he manages to fulfil.
When that happens, I get sick, saw boobs, I'm absolutely convinced im pregnant. In less than a weeks time my period will begin, and we will both be devistated.
Has any one had to deal with phantoms before.
Or has anyone had to deal with a difficult sex life before, when you both want the same outcome.

[ThingsThatShine]

If you're having sex very rarely, you need to do it more often and be more aware of your cycle to really try to get pregnant. Unless I'm missing something I'm not seeing an immediate need for IVF?

Good luck

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

I agree with ThingsThatShine. It makes a huge difference when the romantic duties happen. Are you doing it at (what you think is) the right time? Or just when you're in the mood? Some targeted romance is required if you want to get pregnant.

[Hellokittycat]

It sounds as though the dh has a medical issue that stops them having sex very often, is that right?
In which case maybe ivf or some form of help may be needed here

[CursiveLetters]

Agree with others - if your husband is unable to have sex frequently it will be much harder to get pregnant. There are less invasive options than IVF though - is your husband able to umm produce? The doctor can do the 'ol turkey baster on you with your husband's sperm.

[KitKat1985]

I think the first thing you need to do is book an appointment with your GP. The problem may be lack of sex caused by your husband's type 2 diabetes, or it may be something else going on which needs ruling out (low sperm count for him for example, or PCOS for you). If you've been trying for a couple of years without luck then your GP should certainly be willing to assess you. Once you know for definite what the problem is it as least gives you something to work on. Also bear in mind that when you do have sex it needs to be around the time you ovulate to be 'effective' at making a baby. Can you get some ovulation sticks or similar to see when you are ovulating? It's normally mid-menstrual cycle for most women (so about two weeks after the first day of your last period), but it does vary for individuals. If your husband is already a bit stressed by the whole thing though it may be better when you initiate sex not to tell him that you want sex because you are ovulating, or it may just stress him out further and make the whole process more difficult.

[FrauEnglischLehrerin]

Have you read much or asked about your situation on the Conception board? So-called "symptom spotting" (convincing yourself you have symptoms of pregnancy) when you are trying to conceive is very, very common and you may find some reassurance in reading that many other women go through the same as you.

As previous posters have said, it's worth trying to monitor your cycle for a few months to work out when you are most fertile (lots of advice on Conception board about that). Sore boobs are a good sign that you are ovulating, as they become sore when your body produces progesterone after ovulation (there is another surge in progesterone when implantation occurs, which is why unusually sore boobs is a common early sign of pregnancy). Writing down exactly when your boobs get sore may give you an idea of when you ovulate (this may not be day 14 of your cycle). Once you know when you are fertile, you can maximise your chances of getting pregnant by having sex one or two days before ovulation.

Good luck!

[Kate123m]

Thanks all for your very good advice.
This overwhelming feeling of being pregnant could be managed much better if I monitored my cycles and ovulating times better. I must admit I felt like I was the only person in the world struggling with my phantom symptoms some months. My first pregnancy seemed to just happen like that (ex partner).
I generally thought my next planned baby would happen like that too.
I never thought I'd experiance so many physical symptoms with wishful thinking, and my poor hubby is destraut by this.
Sometimes we may only have the fun once a month. I couldn't ever put it in him to have it at that special time of month because he would panic and couldn't perform anyway.
The last time we managed to say complete was two days before my ovulation apparently (online calculators).
I'm convinced, he's convinced, but I'm dreading the day so much when I have to say I've come on!!!! ??