Hi all, I'm just worried and stressed after my booking in appt with the midwife yesterday so wanted to vent. I'm 9+4 with pfb.
I knew she was going to be a cow when she asked me if I had decided where I wanted to give birth and I said 'I think X, it just seems to have everything I want' and she said 'oh, I had assumed you wanted Y, I've got the forms for that here'. I'm not the kind of person to let easier admin put me off, normally, but I gave her my reasons for X and she countered all of them:
- birth pool in Every room at X - she said there are two pools out of 4 rooms at Y and 'in her experience working on the wards' (though didn't mention how long ago that was) the pools have never been too busy / unattainable. am I right in thinking this is probably bull and the fact there's only 50% pools at Y rather than 100% pools at X means it's more likely I won't get one?
- X does physiological placental delivery as default - she said 'every midwife knows how to do that' does that mean ill actually get it at Y tho?!
- double beds at X so DH can stay over with me if baby in middle of night - she said discharge times are so quick he'd probably be able to take me home straight away anyway really?
I didn't get the chance to ask about perineal massage and other things I know that X does as she was getting annoyed.
She said that Y has had the number of births in the last 6m that they expected in a year, so I'm guessing they must be stretched for capacity, that worried me but she said it like it was a good thing?
Also she pointed out that Y is a MLU attached to a hospital whereas X is a stand alone MLU, so she said 'most people feel safer'. Surely that is a bit misleading as the stats don't bear that misconception out, I thought?
She didn't offer me a home birth at all, which I didn't want but I feel not to even mention it is lacking in her duty of care to me... don't know if that's silly tho as I don't want one.
Also I have a history of MH problems, she said she would refer me to a consultant 'just for a chat' but said it wouldn't affect whether I could have MLU. Then later she dropped in that there was a chance I'd end up consultant led coz of the MH issues, but if I was, surely I would have to go to a hospital?!
She also said I wasn't allowed to change my mind later, as it takes them 2 hours to load my choice onto the system and I get a hospital number based on my choice. So now I feel that she pressured me into a place I didn't want with no chance to change.
I'm just feeling really scared that the rest of my appts will be like this and I'll end up one of those women in labour with no real advice, not respected or given choices and no idea what's going on - I know that still happens to so many people, has happened to friends, and I don't know what to do! :s
Sorry for length of post x