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10 weeks pregnant but the sickness is making me emotional and very down

(16 Posts)
dottytablecloth Sun 11-May-14 09:47:08

Sorry for such a depressing title.

I know there is a thread for people who are chronically sick and have been in hospital I didn't think I'm that bad!

With my first baby I was really sick and vomited lots but when I was sick, I actually started to feel much better (until the next day).

I'm not doing so well with this pregnancy and I feel like a bit of a failure. I'm a teacher and so many colleagues have sailed through their pregnancies, I feel like the weakest link- I'm thinking I will need some time off.

I'm nauseous all the time, not as much vomiting but I gag and retch constantly. I can't do simple things like shower without feeling like I'm going to pass out. I need to lie down when I get out of the shower. I wasn't like this with my first baby.

I have severe back pain from all the retching.

I've lost 10 lbs since I found out that I was expecting a baby and now weigh under 9 stone so I don't look great.

Even after a full nights sleep, I'm still exhausted.

I'm really moaning here sorry. I don't know what to do. I said to my dh that even if this pregnancy doesn't go well and something were to go wrong, I wouldn't have another child. sad. Realise I sound like a terrible mother for even writing that down.

I'm normally of the 'give yourself a good shake' mentality but I really can't shake this off. Please say it'll pass soon.

Am worried about going to the doctor in case they aren't sympathetic, I'm not good at dealing with medical people due to previous bad experiences. I'm also worried about the damage any sickness medication could do.

Feeling really sorry for myself and sorry for dh and ds having to put up with me.

Thanks of you made it this far!

Kels13 Sun 11-May-14 10:00:58

I feel your pain. I'm pregnant with my first and am 18 weeks and still feeling like this. I've had enough now so am going to go to the doctors this week and ask for something to help. Can't really offer advice but just wanted you to know you're not alone! X

bronya Sun 11-May-14 10:30:24

If it helps, I've been unbelievably sick with this one so empathize! Have managed it by figuring out which foods cause the worst of the sickness and keeping away from them, but the list of things I can eat is v boring! I'm not eating any additives, any meat/eggs/white fish, and I actually feel almost human again. I only knew to avoid those though, because my mum was the same with me.

Hopefully you'll feel better at 12 weeks. If not, try to see if any foods are triggering it worse than others for you.

livingzuid Sun 11-May-14 11:13:04

Hello, hg varies in intensity and if you are feeling this bad you should most definitely be visiting your gp for some medication.

The hyperemesis support thread is open to anyone smile I haven't been hospitalised as I was on medication that worked from 8 weeks but I still battle nausea regularly at 36 weeks. There is lots of good advice on what to eat, drink, how to cope at work or get signed off etc.

Just make sure you are staying hydrated - that's the most important thing. Don't underestimate the impact it can have and there is help avaliable smile Hope you feel better soon.

livingzuid Sun 11-May-14 11:24:22

Sorry should have added that there is medication that is perfectly safe to take in pregnancy for sickness. This is not at all to alarm you but you are at risk of doing more damage if you don't visit your gp so you could think about it that way instead. I have been on a cocktail of drugs for the whole pregnancy for a variety of things, hg included, and my baby is in the 90th percentile and a real whopper. Another lady on the thread has been on steroid based hg drugs under a specialist hg consultant and is looking forward to her c section next month smile

If you look on the hyperemesis support thread at the original post there are links and also NICE guidelines on what can be taken which should reassure you. If your gp is one of the few who are useless there is a wonderful helpline you can call manned by a retired gp who can advise you further.

Basically, don't worry about the medication is the upshot of my post. It's more important you don't struggle alone with this when there is help for you thanks

dottytablecloth Sun 11-May-14 11:43:22

Thanks for the supportive posts. I guess I'm thinking that I coped fine in my last pregnancy, with just a bit of sickness, so what is going wrong with this one.

I'm going to check out the hg threads; maybe there will be some advice that I can use.

I think I'll have to get signed off work even for a week or so to see if I can start to feel human again.

Thanks for the reassurance about medication, that means a lot.

livingzuid Sun 11-May-14 19:44:36

Best thing to do is go speak to your gp about it and they can talk you through what's available. Hg can affect second pregnancies without warning I understand from some of the ladies. It's miserable sad

livingzuid Sun 11-May-14 19:45:26

And yes to getting signed off! I was off from week 17 and it helps so much.

Artistic Sun 11-May-14 19:58:05

I am at 18 weeks & I felt terrible until week 12. It felt like the sick & worn out feeling would never end. Even simple tasks like standing up felt draining. It was horrible.

But it passed. By week 14 it was much better & now am as good as new.

So there is light at the end of the tunnel. Weeks 9,10,11 were the worst. Hang in there it will get better soon.

Also this is DC2. Incase if DC1 I had found it easier. Hope that helps.

LittleRedDinosaur Sun 11-May-14 19:59:50

Don't c

dottytablecloth Sun 11-May-14 20:57:03

I didn't realise that my second pregnancy would be different, thought I was going to be slightly sick but nothing I couldn't cope with.

How wrong I was. I'm living on toast and ice lollies.

I'm a teacher and have classic teacher guilt because I've told work I'm not going I'm this week and maybe for a while. I couldn't teach like this and I don't think parents would want me to, although I'm sure the school aren't best pleased.

Reassuring to see that weeks 9/10/11 can be the worst, I really hope so.

Thanks for letting me moan.

kalidasa Mon 12-May-14 09:28:27

Come over to the HG thread dotty! You are very welcome. I think continuous nausea is actually much harder to cope with than vomiting, even quite a lot of vomiting, if you feel OK between vomits. Obviously vomiting is more of a medical risk but I do think that acute nausea should be taken much more seriously as a psychological risk because it so unbelievably demoralising and miserable. Cancer specialists take the psychological impact of nausea very seriously, I don't really understand why obs/gynae people don't. Bad pregnancy sickness is a huge risk factor for depression, unsurprisingly because it is just SO DEPRESSING! Especially if everyone expects you to be blooming and overjoyed and in fact you are crouched over the loo the entire time fantasising about a miscarriage.

Hydration and REST are the main things that help most people. You are exhausted because your body is telling you to get more rest. I think you are absolutely right to have the week off work and you shouldn't feel guilty for a minute. Rest helps you cope better and will also probably help you shake it off more quickly. If you keep pushing through now you may find it takes a lot longer to fade.

Many of the drugs prescribed for pregnancy sickness, especially the first line things like antihistamines (e.g. cyclizine) have a very long safety record and have been used for decades in pregnancy with no probs. You shouldn't worry at all about trying these if you want to.

Lots of women find a second pregnancy different from a first; you may be more tired/sick because you were a bit more tired and busy in the first place, perhaps with slightly fewer reserves, so your body has upped the signals to try to make sure you get the rest you need. Or the baby may just be very different in its needs. Have you had a scan yet to check there aren't two?!

Weeks 9 and 10 were the absolute pits for me. I had already been in hospital several times by that stage, but it was definitely the lowest point. You WILL feel better than this, and probably quite soon; though I think it's also important to know that the worse the sickness the less likely it is to disappear magically at 12 weeks. In your situation I would anticipate instead a slow fade between weeks 12 and 18 or so.

livingzuid Mon 12-May-14 12:01:16

And to add to khali's wise words, for some it can ease and then come back in the last trimester (as mine has) or it can stay for the whole pregnancy, or it can go. This is not to depress you but I hope helps you make a plan of action in case you are one of the unlucky ones where it continues beyond the first trimester. It is so important to take care of yourself and not overdo it. So many of us have thought 'yay', rushed out to work and overdone it, ending up worse than before!

There are teachers on the hg thread who can share experiences and coping strategies smile it can be managed but at the risk of sounding like your mum remember that your health is so much more important smile

SomeSunnySunday Mon 12-May-14 13:03:54

Big, unmumsnetty hugs. I am 8 weeks with DC3 and in the same position. It's crap. We have also had the conversation re never, ever trying again, however this pregnancy turns out.

I had diagnosed HG with DC2 (not with DC1, just bad MS), although it was at the "mild" end of the HG scale, and I was fine by about 18 weeks. It was still awful, impacted masisvely on daily life, meant I lost tonnes of weight, needed to be treated for dehydration. But the nausea was the worst part, worse than actually being sick. This time round I'm fairly similar and just feeling hugely pathetic. We live abroad, no support (normally), and my mum has had to get on a plane and come and stay to look after me. She is doing all of the childcare while I lie on the sofa feeling grim, trying (and sometimes failing) not to be sick. I honestly think I'm going to let her take me home to the UK next week for decent medical care, it's that miserable.

Definitely try cyclizine - it worked, to an extent, for me last time. This time I'm on buccal (prescribed by lovely UK GP and brought over by mum), but it leaves me so spaced out that I'm not sure what's worse. And definitely get signed off work, prioritise yourself and do whatever you can to make life easy.

oohdaddypig Mon 12-May-14 20:53:22

Hi - I really feel for you. I suffer horrendous nausea/retching but no vomiting. I find the all day sickness so depressing. It's interesting what was said up thread about the psychological impact. I do struggle but feel we are expected to get on with it. Not easy with a job and two young DCs.,

Anyway this is DC3 and I have started taking vit b6 supplements. I take 50 mcg in the morning and 20 mcg at night. In the US this seems pretty standard. Perhaps I should visit my GP but I feel they are generally crap and fob you off. It's really taken the edge off the worst of it.

Anyway, hope the vitamin b6 tip might help.

icklekid Tue 13-May-14 06:13:24

Just to say totally empathise with being a teacher and struggling. I've had constant ms from 6 weeks-32 which I am now. I have been on medication from the start which has allowed me to work. Have had a few weeks off and reduced hours due to spd. Many people sail through pregnancy I'm not one of them! Make sure you ask for help as long term it is in everyone's best interests x

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