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Bit of reassurance needed x

(16 Posts)
Shazam24 Tue 06-May-14 19:21:51

I found out that im pregnant on the 2nd. Im 6 weeks today. This is my fourth pregnancy but i havnt any live children.

My first pregnancy lasted till 6 monthd where i had my little boy 3 months early but he died 2 hours after birth. That was April 2013.

I then had two miscarriges in July and then October. Those pregnancys went at 36 & 38 days and im now 42 days pregnant with this one.

Im just after a bit of reassurance i think, im absolutely petrified and i know im going to be for months now. We found out with our son at the 20 week scan that he was really poorly. So even if i get to 20 weeks with this baby things still might not be ok. I just cant stop worrying im sp scared. How can i stop all these terrible thoughts?

AuntieBrenda Tue 06-May-14 19:31:50

I couldn't read and not reply.
Have you met your midwife yet? You should really have a big talk with them. I have not experienced anything like this but I am sure that there is support in place for people like yourself. You really deserve all the care and support in the world. Good luck to you lovely xxthanks

Blondiebrownie Tue 06-May-14 19:33:30

Could you ask your midwife if you could have a few appointments with consultants due to your previous pregnancies? They will keep a closer eye on things and that may help you calm your nerves.

I'm sorry to hear about your angels thanks

GingerRodgers Tue 06-May-14 19:40:37

I am so so sorry to hear of the loss of your babies thanks
Don't forget that worrying is a completely normal part of pregnancy and that it will be especially for you.
Did they give you any reason to think what affected your son could affect future children?
Also, unfortunately miscarriage is a horribly common thing especially so early (as you experienced) but that doesn't mean this one will go the same way or that you can't have a full term pregnancy.
You are more than likely one of the unfortunate few who have to go through the rough before the smooth.
Don't forget there's always someone about on here if you need to chat and I found distraction to be the best for passing time until appointments/scans.
Wishing you the best of luck.

squizita Tue 06-May-14 19:44:21

There is a "today we are pregnant" thread you're welcome to join, its for ladies who have had one or more losses. Everyone there understands the fear. smile

Shazam24 Wed 07-May-14 16:59:11

Thank you for the replies x

AuntieBrends No, not met midwife yet. Spoje to her today and told ger my history but she wont see me till the 23rd. Ill be 8.3 weeks by then hopefully. I asked her if i could see her soonwr as im frightened but she was quite rude and said there wasnt any point because she couldnt takw my blood until i was 8 weeks.

BlondieBrownie Yes i plan to ask for a few more scans, i wanted one at 8 weeks if i could but not sure it will happen now. I need one if i get to 16 weeks because at my sons 12 week scan he was fine then by his 20 week he was severly ill. So if i get to 16 weeks id like a scan then to check everything is ok.

GingerRodgers Yes, my son had Pelvic Renal Dilation but it was so severe his bladder had moved into his chest, his kidneys were full of cysts and one kidney wasnt working. The other was nearly gone aswell. I was basically his life support the only thing that kept him alive was me. They found no cause for why he was premature but they suggested my body tried to abirt him as such. But he was born at 24 week so i dont really understand how my body decided to keep him for si long then boot him out.

Me & my partner have had kareotypes done and neither of us carry any genetic priblems at all. Its just bad luck that it was our son. They said 1 in a 100 babies get what my son had and only a small amount survive.

I was due to have blood tests in june to see if i had a blood thing ( , i want to say hodgkins syndrome but im not 100% ) to see if my blood qas causing the miscarriges. But im pregnant again n its been longer than the miscarriges so i dont think i have it.

Squizita Thank you, ill have a look now.

Thank you fir your replies everyone. Im just frightened. Every niggle has me goinf toilet checking for blood. But im bound to feel this way arnt I?

thank you for replying xx

Shazam24 Wed 07-May-14 17:00:28


Trooperslane Wed 07-May-14 17:09:59

So sorry - you've had a terrible time.

Could you ask to be referred to the psychiatric midwifery team - not to scare you but where I am they have a few people that look after women with your history. They offer counselling and additional support.

I know someone who had a still birth who got great support and as I have suffered from depression and anxiety I was offered help from them too.


Sending lots of love.

Fwiw I think you're an absolute Trojan and so very brave to keep going.

I'll light a candle for you tonight.

Eastwiththem Wed 07-May-14 17:27:55

I'm sorry you've had such a horrible experience, and totally get why you are worried.

Can you see your GP or consultant and ask for extra care? In my area you get an 8 week scan after two miscarriages which I think is the standard guidelines so hopefully your area is the same. Unfortunately there isn't much to see at 6 weeks so you'll have a wait a bit longer, but you should definitely push to talk to someone sooner - they'll be able to monitor hormone levels at 6 weeks which would give you an idea whether the pregnancy was progressing normally.

squizita Wed 07-May-14 17:29:59

Shazam Hugh's syndrome? If it is a concern ask your Dr about low dose aspirin (usual medication for it in the first instance). S/he might give it without tests or with a blood test in pregnancy.

Ducky23 Wed 07-May-14 17:35:10

Hi Hun,

So sorry for your losses thanks it really is awful.

I lost my dd at 31+2 and was also meant to have some blood tests but have found out I am around 6 weeks pregnant to so can no longer have them.

It really is difficult coping with pregnancies after losses, I have a close friend who I can discuss anything with and that has helped a lot. Have you got anyone in RL to support you though your pregnancy worries?

Also have you looked into changing midwife/hospital etc? You should be given extra scans to help with anxiety. Or could you possibly give the EPU a call and see if they can get you in before you see mw? I'm not sure how all that works.

Really hope you start to feel better soon, it won't be easy for you but you will make it through x

MabelMay Wed 07-May-14 18:11:45

shazam and ducky - if you want support on these threads from women that are going through same and have been through similar - for hand-holding, reassurance and off-loading - do come and join us on the pregnancy after miscarriage board.
Here's the link.

Good luck Shazam. I would push for an early scan around 7/8 weeks if you can get it - 3 losses are considered Recurrent Miscarriage - and you should qualify. hope you're getting good care.

GingerRodgers Wed 07-May-14 19:57:13

Op your little boy sounds like he was a real trooper, will say a prayer for him and his siblings tonight.
Just wanted to wish you all the best, I really hope this works out for you.
Just don't be too hard on yourself, even with no previous losses and at 22 weeks I still check everytime I go to the loo! You're not alone there smile

Shazam24 Tue 13-May-14 03:47:51

Sorry for the late reply, had a really busy week xxx

Trooperlane Im not too keen on the idea of involving physiatric people in my life. Id be paranoid theyd think i was bonkers and say id be am unfit mother. Ive had depression in the past.

Eastwiththem Yup smile ice rang up the local epu and got a scan for Friday. I should be 7.3 weeks then so hopefully will be able to see a heartbeat

Squizita Ahh yes hughs syndrome! IM not sure i have it now though as in 7 weeks today and so far baby is still here. I have been taking paracetamol nearly every day due to severe headaches and in wondering if their helping baby stay? Ny partner suggested we buy some Anodin as it wobt harm baby whatsoever even if i don't have hughs syndrome. Were going to get some tomorrow just to be on safe side ( when i spoke to doctor he said anodin or baby asprin would do the trick )

Ducky23 So sorry about your daughter xxx Yup i couldn't wait any longer so i rang epu and i get to see my baby on Friday. Ill be 7.3 weeks then and i hope to God its still there and healthy. Yes i have a lot of lovely people around me willing to support me but i don't like putting off on them. My partner is fantastic too hes been my rock this past year or so.

MabelMay Thank you for the link, ill be on it once ive wrote on here lol. I don't think its going to work out well with the midiwife but getting lots if support from my partner

GingerRodgers Aw that made me cry, thank you. He really was, the doctors told me he had died because they couldn't find a heartbeat. I kept saying but i can feel him kicking me and they told me i was wrong. But he proved everyone wrong and was born alive kicking and punching. And then fought for two hours to stay with us. As soon as i held him he held my hand. He was absolutely beautiful and so tiny, he was 33cm long, he was like a little doll. I miss him so much and wish so much he was here. I still cant wuite believe i have a son who died. I shouldn't of ever had to go through that and it wasn't fair. I cant change what's happened but every single day i wish i could. He wad the first grandbaby in my family and the first boy in 47 years. He was going to be so spoilt and loved. Id do anything to have him here.

sorry, got carried away there didn't i!! I don't talk about him much to people in rl because it upsets me and them

thank you for all your lovely replies everyone. Could be the hormones or because you were all so nice but i cant stop crying now lol xxx

morerummorefun Tue 13-May-14 08:35:43

oh my goodness shazam you are so brave! ive not been through anything like you but just wanted to wish you luck for Friday! will have everything crossed for you xxx

squizita Tue 13-May-14 09:46:44

Shazam don't use Anadin - could thin your blood too much (and you'd faint), heart aspirin (75mg, for people who've had heart surgery) is the stuff! smile Check with your MW, but lots of women take it and it's harmless.

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