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Pregnancy

Cried in front of midwife, feeling like a dick.

20 replies

weebigmamma · 20/04/2014 12:22

So annoyed with myself. Had my baby just over a week ago and I've been feeling great, really happy and recovering well from section. But my BP has been high and I had to go back to hospital the other day for a few hours. It was awful leaving my baby at home but they increased my meds so I thought that would be the end of it. Got my Bp done this morning and it's still high. Burst into tears and couldn't stop crying. I am really worried about being admitted to hospital and having to leave baby at home. I think midwife now thinks I'm depressed because I was crying so much and she was going on about hormones and things. I did have PND last time and have made sure that it's on all my notes so people can keep an eye on it now, but this isn't it- this is just me feeling shit and being worried about my health and not knowing what's going to happen. But I couldn't even tell her that I was crying so much. I feel stupid and worried.

BP is 160/95-100 and I'm on 300mg in the morning and 200mg at night. I just want them to increase it again so it can go down and I can get on with things. But she's coming back tomorrow to take it again and I just know it won't have changed.

OP posts:

Report

weebigmamma · 20/04/2014 12:27

my drug is labetalol

OP posts:

onedogatoddlerandababy · 20/04/2014 12:32

Hi, I was readmitted at 5 days post patrimony for bp (pre eclampsia) earlier this year. Ended up in for 5 nights while they got the dose right.

I was admitted to the maternity ward so had dd2 with me, there's no way they should separate you from your newborn. Just take her with you, are you breast feeding?

I understand how you feel, I was desperate to get home and back to my toddler, that some evenings I felt so miserable and frustrated that my bp would go up and down.

onedogatoddlerandababy · 20/04/2014 12:33

That should say post partum...

whereisshe · 20/04/2014 12:33

Might it be baby blues? I burst into tears a lot for the first week or so after the birth.

In any case, don't feel bad about crying. The midwife is there to care for you and I'm sure they've seen far worse. It's completely natural to want to be healed and healthy after having a baby so you can care for it properly, I'm not surprised you're upset. I hope the mw was sympathetic!

TheRealYellowWiggle · 20/04/2014 12:43

Look you got worrying news and you cried - no big deal.
Agree with pp that if you are in hospital, lo should be too.would that reassure you? You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You don't have to have even had a baby to cry at the thought of hospital!

snapple21 · 20/04/2014 14:22

My bp was high after birth they discharged me on labetelol and nifedipine after three days. They just asked me to follow up at the gp. Even if you were re admitted or would be with baby to the maternity ward. Hope it gets better soon.

Also, I cried about three times in front of the midwives, they're used to it!

weebigmamma · 20/04/2014 15:22

Thanks everyone. I have been so upset all day at the thought of going back to bloody hospital. Midwife is coming out again tomorrow to take my bp again and I just think what's the point? It's not going to have gone down by then is it? Why not just admit me now and get all the horrible waiting over with.

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BEEwitched · 20/04/2014 15:44

When they first put me on Labetalol and the midwife called to arrange for a visit so she could check my bp I just burst into tears - I have 6 weeks to go and I hate the drugs, I have raging side effects but if anything they're going to have to increase my dosage.

I really get how you feel, every visit at the hospital, every midwife visit (2x week) feels like I am going to school to sit a test I know I'm going to fail.

One thing I find though is that I really need to work on being calmer when faced with hcps - I take my bp at home at it is fine, normally it's around 125/70 now with the medication. When the midwife came on Friday she took it and I was so upset it shot up to 200/110! She took it again 4 minutes later and it was 140/80, but my anxiety makes everything so much worse.

2nds · 20/04/2014 16:18

After the birth of myDD last year, I cried while watching the news, cried through a quiz show and cried on the phone to my mum I'm sure I cried every day over something or other for a good month or more. I remember opening the washing machine door and all of a sudden my tears were all over the floor I was upset that I had to take washing out of the machine. Sounds bizarre but at the time it was very very real.

Crying in front of your midwife is more normal than what you would expect it to be. I bet 100 quid that the same midwife sees some woman or other crying at least several times a week. If you are worried about how you feel you should keep your midwife and HV informed. You only gave birth a short while ago so don't beat yourself up.

beebop100 · 20/04/2014 17:55

You'll be in the maternity hospital when you're admitted, where I work it's expected you'd take your baby in with you, I'm imagine it's the same everywhere.

weebigmamma · 20/04/2014 18:37

I don't think that anything I do can make it better- the drugs either work or they don't. When I take it myself it's fine too but I'm past thinking that breathing exercises or whatever can help me when other people take it. I've rested as much as humanly possible and it'#s no different. So I got up and did some housework today because I bloody might as well, especially if i'm going back to hospital. Haven't felt this depressed for a really long time but it doesn't matter- nothing will change it when she comes out tomorrow. I just don't know why they're putting me through the torture of waiting when I know it won't make any difference.

Thanks for all your messages. I'm sorry I'm not being more positive.

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lemonpoppyseed · 20/04/2014 19:34

Each time a pregnancy has finished for me (in birth or miscarriage) the hormone crash that comes about three days after the end just knocks me completely sideways for a bit. It always feels like PMS x100, and I spend much of the day weepy. I think it's just my body 're-setting' itself hormonally. I hope you start to feel more like your old self soon.

BEEwitched · 20/04/2014 20:40

I don't blame you for not being more positive, I think I've cried every day for the last two weeks - like you, I find the constant fretting about whether today will be the day where they decide to admit me horrendous.

It's made so much worse for you because you are in that period after birth where all the hormones go wackadoo!

FannyFifer · 20/04/2014 20:46

You poor thing.

Congrats on your new baby.

I had BP problems during and after first pregnancy, I basically cried on anyone who even spoke to me for about 6 weeks.

The BP meds make you feel awful as well, I was so forgetful and felt really foggy, was so down.

You will be able to bring baby into hospital, just tell them you won't be admitted otherwise.

sneakyday · 20/04/2014 20:50

Jeez I cried so much in hospital 4 days after having dd that I scared a trainee doctor!

I think midwives will be fairly used to it.

Hope bp is down tomorrow xxx congratulations xxxx

sneakyday · 20/04/2014 20:51

Jeez I cried so much in hospital 4 days after having dd that I scared a trainee doctor!

I think midwives will be fairly used to it.

Hope bp is down tomorrow xxx congratulations xxxx

MrsCakesPremonition · 20/04/2014 21:10

If the dosage of labetalol you are on isn't working then it can be changed. If/when you stop breastfeeding there are other drugs which may be better at reducing your BP. There are lots of options.

Is there any reason why you can't see your GP about your BP instead of being dragged back to hospital?

Good luck, I hope your BP is down tomorrow.

My BP never went back to normal after my last pregnancy, and I felt loads better when I was finally able to swap to a more modern BP medication.

BEEwitched · 20/04/2014 21:32

Have they looked into methyldopa? I'll probably need to swap to that.

weebigmamma · 21/04/2014 15:26

Argh typed a whole long message there and it disappeared! Anyway, THANK YOU, for making me feel sane. My BP is still too high but I feel more positive today. Midwife has assured me that if it hasn't come down in a day or two they'll increase or change meds so hopefully that will stave off a hospital trip for a while longer. Yesterday was also stressful because baby was very constipated and crying/screaming a lot, plus we worked out that the change in formula meant he couldn't get enough out of his teat and it was easter sunday so the nearest open chemist was an hour away.... DH drove the whole way not knowing if they'd have the teats we needed but thankfully they did. Called out of hours doc and got his constipation sorted as well. Today he is on his 2nd 4hr nap lol. Clearly exhausted and I'm trying not to worry that he's sleeping so much, the poor thing!

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peeapod · 21/04/2014 18:41

aww.. I had a scare at the weekend too, theres nothing worse when its easter and you feel so alone. I was really glad that the midwives still work. I'm glad to hear your being well looked after.

It is really easy to put everything down to "baby blues" but I guess you just have to be careful not to over label yourself and allow yourself to think its ok to cry. Gawd.. im 36 weeks pregnant and iv been reduced into a big sobbing mess, and i never cry. Am I depressed? nah.. just hormones lol

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