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just found out i am pregnant and i am scared !!!

(25 Posts)
Bobbi1234 Sat 12-Apr-14 07:43:21

Hi so i had been trying with my fiance for years to get pregnant but nothing ever happens then 4 weeks ago i left him due to relationship problems we have been having. Then a week later there was a manager at work who had been showing me alot of attention and had been there for me the whole time things where bad with my ex and i slept with him (thinking he liked me). Now it is 3 weeks later he wont talk to me and my period was due 2 weeks ago So i took a test i am PREGNANT!!! I have not told anyone as i am really scared as i think it my managers but i don't want him to be nasty with me and i don't want to lose my job .... I no i should have never slept with him but i thought he liked me .... What should i do ? Do i tell him ? Is there still a chance it my exs ? Will i lose my job ? I just feel so used x

Christmascandles Sat 12-Apr-14 07:59:50

Right, first off don't panic! It's been years since I had a baby but I did chart etc at the time so let me see if I can help you.

Left xdp 4 weeks ago
Period due 2 weeks ago
Slept with manager 3 weeks ago

Is that right..?

How long are your cycles usually..? Generally you ovulate 14 days before your period, regardless of cycle length. So based on a 28 day cycle and if the above is correct I think it errs more towards being your exs rather than the managers.

Oh and the manager is a fucking twat. blush

bakingtins Sat 12-Apr-14 08:01:52

In most cases you ovulate about 2 weeks before your period is due, which sounds like 4 weeks ago. If you had sex with your partner in the few days before you broke up it could well be his. However if you ovulate late in your cycle it's certainly possible that you could get pregnant a week before your period was due, so I think it's too close to call. AFAIK there isn't any way to tell for certain before the baby is born (DNA test) though if you can get a dating scan that may help you work out when baby was conceived. They are only accurate to within a few days though, the gap between potential fathers may not be big enough for it to be helpful.
If it was your ex-P's would you keep the baby and get back together?
Would you keep the baby if it was with your boss?
Your only massive dilemma is if you feel differently about continuing the pregnancy depending on whom the father is.

MusicalEndorphins Sat 12-Apr-14 08:24:11

Don't say anything to your manager just yet. You need to find out how far along you are, and think about what it is that YOU want.
You must have wanted a baby, as you have been trying for 4 years.
Would you want to be a single parent?
If it is your ex's baby, would you want to reconcile with him?
You have options, terminate and adoption are other choices, not suggesting, just reminding you.
You don't have to let the man at work know anything, he treated you badly. Later on, if you decide you want to keep the baby, you can decide whether or not to let him know, and when.
Now it is 3 weeks later he wont talk to me and my period was due 2 weeks ago So i took a test i am PREGNANT!!!
Does that mean you slept with him one week before your period was due? I am sure other more knowledgeable people will be along who may be able to help you figure out your conception date, but from what you mentioned, I think it may be your ex's child.
If day 14-17 of a woman/s cycle when she ovulates?

MusicalEndorphins Sat 12-Apr-14 08:26:14

I see I am the third person to think it could be your ex's!

Bobbi1234 Sat 12-Apr-14 08:55:19

I slept with manager 5 days after i was due to ovulate and about 1 week before af was due. I would keep the baby no matter what as i have my own house and i work hard and have a large family who will support me. I am excited in a way as i had been trying for years with my ex and no i wouldn't get back with him we are still friends but he does not know anything about what going on. Yes the manager is a twat i feel like i want to kick him in the balls. I am only 22 and i have never even had a one night thing or anything but now i have found out he is know for taking advantage of the young girls that start there. I hadn't slept with my ex since before my last period from what i can remember as things had been bad for a few weeks..... My main thing is i feel like i cant tell anyone because they will ask questions i cant answer right now and i struggling to hid the fact i need to vomit soo bad and am so sleepy i work full time and my friend asked me why i look so rough at the moment when usually i am full face make up and hair done .... I feel so stupid plus i feel like people will talk about me if i had to get a dna test i not that type of girl i was just a stupid girl. Xx

Lottiedoubtie Sat 12-Apr-14 09:00:03

There is no 'type' who needs a DNA test. Don't beat yourself up. It sounds like you're going to need one.

Don't tell work (or ex) for now, wait till after the dating scan a least, it's possible you are further along than you think you are.

Are you taking folic acid? Have you seen your GP?

Bobbi1234 Sat 12-Apr-14 09:13:15

I not taking anything i only found out on Thursday and i got a Drs appointment Monday . I am really nervous i have told my friend what going on and she said she will go with me on Monday but we work in same place so if we both have to take off for appointment they are going to wonder why i really want to tell my mum or something but i don't want her to be disappointed or shout at me and she will ask questions i cant answer i don't think she would shout but i just a bit scared and to top it off i constantly feel sick so it don't help lol xx

Lottiedoubtie Sat 12-Apr-14 09:19:59

Ok, well you can buy combined pregnancy vitamins at boots or the supermarket. Or if they are too expensive then the really important one is Folic Acid- you need to take it daily ASAP as it helps the baby develop healthily.

The sick feeling is awful, you have my sympathies. Talk to the doctor about it, there are things you can take and often the earlier you start the better. Also getting tired and/or hungry can make sickness worse so make sure you are eating regularly and sleeping as much as you can.

As for telling your mum, you only need to tell her if/when you want to, don't rush yourself. Focus on what you and the baby need right now.

MamaPingu Sat 12-Apr-14 09:23:39

Congratulations OP smile

I know you're in a bit of a predicament but I'm very pleased you are excited and looking forward to being a mother, it's wonderful smile

It does sound as though it is your bosses if you slept with your ex before last period but I'd still double check once the baby is here.

Best of luck to you OP smile

Bobbi1234 Sat 12-Apr-14 09:27:04

Thank you i will go supermarket today and i not getting hungry as i may feel like i am going vomit like the exorcist at any moment but i can not stop eating especially toast it really helps and i am sleep so i go bed at tea time after work and stay there till work time next morning lol.... And i think i going to tell my mum after my appointment on Monday so she can start taking me to them ..... Wow this is alot of stuff to handle but i am a little bit excited xx

Lottiedoubtie Sat 12-Apr-14 11:14:55

Toast is good for the nausea as you've discovered, any kind of plain carb, and cheese I find stays down well.

It's a huge thing to handle. (I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant). But you can do it, you have a house, a job, a supportive family you can make it work!

MusicalEndorphins Sat 12-Apr-14 23:31:11

Try a baked potato for the nausea too, the starchyness seems to help me same as toast does.

Bobbi1234 Sun 13-Apr-14 02:49:48

Thank you potatoes and toast are the only things i want to eat lol i think if i eat much more potato this baby could be a potato lol ... I feel a bit less worried about what will happen now as i have kinda got my glhead around the fact i am going to have a baby and be single .... Now it just the case of Drs and then telling family thank you everyone xx

sykadelic Sun 13-Apr-14 03:37:37

Agree with the others that it could well be your exf's and not to tell either until you've had your dating scan.

Some people think implantation bleeding is a period. Some people still bleed a little during their pregnancy. So it could well be that you're further along than you think.

I'm crossing all my fingers and toes for you to hope it's obvious from the dating scan that it's the exf's instead of the twat boss.

Brabra Sun 13-Apr-14 03:43:06

Did you not use contraception on you ONS? Maybe you need to be checked out for STDs.

Bobbi1234 Sun 13-Apr-14 07:59:01

I never used and contraception no as it was never something i had to worry about with my ex obviously and will admit i was very drunk considering the last time i had a drink was Christmas it didn't take much lol and don't worry i plan to get checked out for all that when i go to the doctors tomorrow. I hope it not his either as i found out alot about him over the last 2 weeks from people he is not a nice as i thought he was and cant believe how stupid i have been but if it his i will give him the option to be here for the baby potato if not that will be his loss. The only people i going to tell before date scan will be my parents i going to tell them tomorrow night xxx

Lottiedoubtie Sun 13-Apr-14 09:34:27

Sounds very sensible. Don't forget whoever it turns out is the father they are responsible for child maintenance payments. They don't have to 'be a dad' but they do have to contribute!

Bobbi1234 Sun 13-Apr-14 10:39:55

I am really not bothered about the money as if they don't want anything to do then i don't want there money. I know it stupid as they helped make him/her but i wouldn't want them to feel obliged to give me money for someone they don't want to see .... I not going to chase anyone for anything i will do it alone if they don't want anything todo and i will make sure i do a damn good job lmao i feel all strong and in dependant today

Lottiedoubtie Sun 13-Apr-14 11:00:33

That's a great attitude, and I'm glad you're feeling positive today. I'm not sure I would do the same though, 18 years is a long time and it's not money for you, but for the child. I'd keep an open mind on it for now.

Bobbi1234 Sun 13-Apr-14 11:55:54

Yes i will just see how it goes i just know what it like to be stuck in the middle with a dad that can only be arsed occasionally and never paid anything no matter how much my mum chased him i don't want someone who will half heartedly pay some money and only turn up occasionally it ain't fair. I do feel all strong today where as last night had a little mini melt down and told my best friend what going on and he may has well told me i was making the wrong decision by deciding to keep the baby no matter what sad felt so stupid ... Men i think they all may be massive arses x

sykadelic Tue 15-Apr-14 01:27:47

How'd you go at your appointment? Did you have a scan?

Bobbi1234 Tue 15-Apr-14 05:46:36

My appointment went ok the dr didn't do anything apart from write me a prescription for folic acid and refer me to the midwife i thought he would do a blood test or something to confirm the pregnancy or something even though i have done two tests and both were posative i thought they would have to confirm it for their records ?? And i told both of my parents they are really happy and excited smile xx

Lottiedoubtie Tue 15-Apr-14 10:43:56

That's great and all pretty normal, some doctors don't retest pregnant women so just be pleased he believed you! (Mine made me do a urine test in the surgery hmm ).

Next thing will be booking in at around 8-10 weeks. Glad your parents are supportive must be a relief to have told them!

Bobbi1234 Tue 15-Apr-14 17:33:54

Yes it was a relief but then i kinda had a omg moment where i realised i was going to have a baby!! A actual real baby that i will look after that i cant give back at the end of the day .... I am so excited but that scared the life out of me xx

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