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Lost the baby, what to expect?

(20 Posts)
MrsGranny Sat 05-Apr-14 13:13:21

Hi all, sorry I'm not writing with happier news. Had a scan today, supposed to be 11 weeks pregnant, but found out baby stopped growing at around 6 weeks and I'll miscarry soon. I'm scared and don't know what to expect with regards to pain/bleeding. Can anyone help?

whatsinaname01 Sat 05-Apr-14 13:30:17


Sorry about your loss.

It happened to me at a similar stage and it was just like having a heavy period with the normal aches. Don't worry to much - just take some paracetamol and use a hot water bottle to help ease aches.

I probably ate lots of chocolate as well for good measure smile

Rockchick1984 Sat 05-Apr-14 13:44:10

So sorry for your loss. Are you choosing to miscarry naturally? Have they gone through surgical and medical management options with you also so you can make an informed choice? There's a miscarriage/pregnancy loss section in Body and Soul topic, I found it amazingly helpful when I had a loss last year thanks

MrsGranny Sat 05-Apr-14 13:49:08

Thank you. Yes waiting to miscarry naturally then after a week if nothing's happened they said about tablets or an operation. So scared

Roseandmabelshouse Sat 05-Apr-14 13:58:09

Sorry for your loss. I found the body and soul board amazing too. There is also a thread about coping with the practicalities of misc which is worth reading ahead of time.

Sadly I waited for weeks and weeks and nothing happened. I ended up deciding to have an ERPC. I was so scared but it was quick and easy ( physically at least). It was the best thing for me so I could get the closure.

Please try not to feel too alone. It happens to so many people. Many who go onto have babies after. Talk when you need to and take all the time you need to feel more yourself.

I have myself gentle projects to keep me occupied such and gardening and small diy projects. Lots of crying is allowed - your hormones go wild initially it's very normal.

Lots of love

Tigerstar123 Sat 05-Apr-14 23:44:55

Sorry for your loss.

Unfortunately, I was in a similar position a couple of weeks ago and asked for advice. A lot of lovely ladies posted with their own experiences.
The link is

Hope this helps.
Take care of yourself. Xxx

plokett1 Sun 06-Apr-14 09:15:22

So so sorry for your loss and understand 1st hand what you are going through. I also found out just before 13 weeks, i think that management is different for everyone and also may depend on how many weeks etc you were at the time as i elected to continue naturally as things had already started but personally found it very traumatic and painful. If i were to have the option and known what to expect i would have opted for the surgical route ( which felt a bit ott at the time!) Sorry if this seems to make it even more scary but i would have appreciated knowing this at the time. My thoughts are with you and good luck with everything.xx

AuntieBrenda Sun 06-Apr-14 09:19:24

I'm in a similar position to you and will hold your hand. I had an early scan yesterday- sac, no embryo and I'm meant to be 6+ weeks. I'm just waiting for the inevitable now too.
The board in body +soul is good, lots of support there.
Be kind to yourself
There's a lot of us standing with you thanks

WhatsTheWordHummingbird Sun 06-Apr-14 09:27:36

I had a Mc at eleven weeks, just a few days prior to my scan.

I started to bleed a cpuple of days before, which gave me a bit of a heads up, and it got worse. On the actual day, I had the most painful period cramps,worse than anything ive ever felt. Dh was out with dd but thankfully he gpt home before anything happened and put dd down for a nap.

At some point, I just knew I needed to go and sit on the toilet and everything came away.

DH was utterly amazing, and we had been advised to collect anything for examination (at this point I hadnt had a scan), and he dealt with all of that.

Dd went off to MILs for the night, and we went to EPAU, who gave me a scan to check everything had come away. They examined the fetus, who it appeared had stopped growing around 7/8 weeks. They told us they hold a service once a month and we could xome up for that (we declined), and we left the fetus with them.

I underestimated how much pain I would be in over the next few weeks. Even emotionally, I felt stronger, beforethe aches and pains left. Painkillers, ibuprpfen and those heat pads you put on your back were essential to me.I fept as rpugh as I didn after id given birth to dd.I had a two week sicknote for work plus ten days annual leave.Im sorry if thos was tmi, but it may help to know more.of the practicalities.

Giveme5minutes Sun 06-Apr-14 09:52:13

Oh op i really feel for you.

I've experienced a MMC like you. I chose to have an ERPC as i have other dc & couldn't manage for days or weeks, waiting for the actual miscarriage to happen.

The Miscarriage Association are a great source of information & support.

Take care.

MrsGranny Sun 06-Apr-14 15:09:49

Thank you everyone for your advice and experiences. Started bleeding a bit today which I guess is the start of it but after ready what some people have written so scared now of what's the come and the pain :-( just want this to be over

MrsGranny Sun 06-Apr-14 15:10:27

Sorry, reading supposed to say above

AuntieBrenda Tue 08-Apr-14 07:33:24

Mrs.Granny - how are you doing? Hope you're looking after yourself and just thinking of
You x

Rachie1986 Tue 08-Apr-14 07:39:28

Thinking of you and really sorry for your loss xx

MrsGranny Tue 08-Apr-14 13:15:05

Thank you. Bleeding a bit more now but still just like the start of a period. Very mild period pain feeling. Hope it happens soon just scared about pain/amount of blood. Thank you all for your support x

AuntieBrenda Tue 08-Apr-14 21:40:57

Thinking of you mrs granny - be kind to yourself xxx

Sometimesbrunette Thu 10-Apr-14 01:59:42

Gosh welling up reading this. You poor thing.

MrsGranny Thu 10-Apr-14 09:15:04

You've all been so kind and supportive, I don't think I would have got through this without you all, my family and hubby. Still don't know if it's over (the worst of it anyway). Tues night I had really strong period like contraction pains, didn't sleep at all. Finally got up at 5.30am and passed a large clot about 2-3" long. Had already passed some clots earlier that day. After that the pain eased off and I slept until 10am. Yesterday afternoon had bad pains again, but not as bad as tues night, and passed some more clots. Today, not much pain, just mild period pain and normal period style bleeding. I hope the main part is over. Got a scan on Monday to see if everything's passed :-( if not have to have tablets/op to clear everything. Thank you all for helping me get through this ��

Sometimesbrunette Thu 10-Apr-14 11:57:52

Hopefully, that's it and you are done. Extra big slice of chocolate cake for you, you deserve it.

AuntieBrenda Thu 10-Apr-14 20:15:41

Still thinking of you mrs granny xxxx

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