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Is it okay to say I'm not a fan of the pregnancy experience?

(82 Posts)
januaryJump Sat 05-Apr-14 12:44:24

Only 7wks with DC2 (surprise baby! DC1 is 16mo). Already tired of the 24h nausea - well, I'm just tired anyway - and had first vomit this morning, ick. Housework already taking a backseat and planning to go on leave at earliest opportunity, around 27wks. Sounds early days, I know, but all I can think of is taking time off and hiring a cleaner blush Hips, back and pelvis already ache and I can't really stomach anything other than sandwiches and lemonade. Tons to do for work and study but struggling at the moment.

I'm grateful to be pregnant and though it was a surprise we're very happy, hoping everything goes perfectly and looking forward to meeting our second little one. I know it could also be harder so I'm trying to be very positive.

...I just really don't enjoy pregnancy! I'm not the only one, right? My two closest friends "loved being pregnant" and had "fantastic pregnancies", so they don't quite understand why I don't. I'm sure I'll perk up a bit in the 2nd tri with hopefully no sickness but in pg1 I was just so tired and achey all of the time. I got a trapped nerve in my thigh that could be mega painful, had to wear Tena pads, and got acne. I never even nested! That just sort of bypassed me. I'm hoping it's different, easier, this time confused

Ok, I'm done blush

moobaloo Sat 05-Apr-14 17:16:38

I'm having a really straightforward pregnancy (don't hate me!) and I still don't LOVE being pregnant like some people claim to (or some of my friends, who have never been pregnant, who THINK that they will Love it hmm) it's alright. It's fine. It's ok. It is what it is. I don't mind it, but I'm looking forward to having a baby and I won't miss being pregnant!

weebairn Sat 05-Apr-14 17:42:45

Aw squiz. It's shit enough without the injections and the worry you have had! Come and moan to us any time grin

I am delighted to be pregnant, but I'm not enjoying it.

Expectingtwins1975 Sat 05-Apr-14 18:18:55

Hate being pregnant ... It sucks !!

Jux Sat 05-Apr-14 18:24:23

I really hated being pg. So much so, in fact, that I had my tubes tied after dd was born.

TheGrassIsSinging Sat 05-Apr-14 18:32:38

I found my first pregnancy hard. I had nausea for the first 20 weeks and felt fat and tired and achy, then got really bad SPD towards the end.

With Dc2 I had hyperemesis for the first 24 weeks, then developed OC. I was so uncomfortable and unwell throughout, I barely remember much about it other than puking a lot and crying to my mum that I was NEVER DOING IT AGAIN.

So no YANBU. But as the grannies alwYs say 'It is all worth it in the end' grin

Donkey36 Sat 05-Apr-14 18:34:02

Glad to see I'm not alone, have two Ds was ill throughout both pregnancies with nausea, sickness, daily injections for clotting, now pregnant with no3 DC same symptoms as above BUT the end result is soooo worth it ... However had forgotten how rubbish it can make you feel......

SizzlesSit Sat 05-Apr-14 18:37:22

Im hating it again.

With DS1 I hated it with 9 months of being sick.

But this pregnancy is even worse - am 35 weeks. Still being sick/nausea but also have insomnia, mild SPD, heartburn,, random pains, and headaches.

Plus a lively toddler (who doesnt sleep through) and until I was signed off work with exhaustion, a stressful FT job where I was out the house 11 hours a day.

I cant wait to give birth! Im also boring myself with my moaning and feel guilty about being a crap mum to DS.

Annarose2014 Sat 05-Apr-14 19:51:37

If anyone ever said to me "Oh I LOVED being pregnant!" I think I'd have to restrain myself. How can anyone possibly love this????!

It's utterly miserable! Just a relentless grind.

happylittlevegemites Sat 05-Apr-14 19:57:36

Oh I fucking hate being pregnant. And those people whol say "oh no, I feel pretty normal actually, well I hate them too (though try very hard to hide it, I'm not so mean really).

It's my second. My husband was thrilled - to him a positive pregnancy test = baby. But to me it just represents 9 months of sickness.

ChicaT Sat 05-Apr-14 21:26:09

Yup to all of the above...there's this wonderful illusion of pregnancy which somehow seeps into our consciousness before we are pregnant...and then the reality is totally different! Now I've had my baby I do look at pregnancy through slightly rose-tinted specs because having a baby to look after is pretty damned hard too, but if I look back objectively I ached all the time, was always tired, very grumpy most of the time, had a sore back from my muscles stretching, chronic back pain until an a-MAZ-ing chiropractor sorted me out (highly recommend it), baby would party all night, I had to inject every day too...but believe it or not (and I was a NON-believer) it is all worth it and my gorgeous DS makes me laugh and smile all day and is SO much fun. It seems like forever when you're in it, but seems like a flash once it's over. Keep on grumbling, it's the only time everyone puts up with it!!! xx

Missingcaffeine Sat 05-Apr-14 21:39:11

I am so with you on this and whilst I'm sorry you're all struggling too, I'm also grateful for this post!
I'm 16 weeks, my first pregnancy, and apart from being really excited to be pregnant, I absolutely hate the experience of being pregnant! Nobody told me how hard it is! So many people had told me they loved being pregnant. I knew about morning sickness, and feeling uncomfortable in the last stages, but nobody told me about the exhaustion! I miss feeling normal, having energy and wanting to do things. I'm normally so active and busy all the time and now I'm struggling to do the simplest of tasks.
Weeks 5-14 I felt CONSTANTLY like I wanted to vomit. Even now I still suffer, but thank goodness it's intermittent. My legs are puffy at the end of the day, I leaked urine last week when I sneezed, I can't sleep very well which affects my functioning in everything else, I constantly feel fat and uncomfortable, I have to pee so frequently, but only a few mls comes out, I get headaches, my boobs hurt and are huge, at only 16 weeks I'm feeling heavy and struggling to move as I normally do, I'm forgetting things, I can't face simple tasks like shopping or putting washing in the machine because I'm just constantly exhausted! Oh and I miss having a glass of wine or two on a Friday night. Thought that was going to be the hardest part, but actually it's easy compared to everything else!
I'm in the 2nd trimester now, and still waiting to get some energy and that glow all the books talk about.
Rant over.
Hope you all feel better soon!!

ohthegoats Sat 05-Apr-14 21:40:43

I used to think that pregnant woman often just sort of sat there, almost bovine in appearance... staring into space, zoned out. But I thought it was all about bliss... nooooo, it's actually all about being SO uncomfortable most of the time (for varying reasons), that the only thing to do is sit and zone out.

Missingcaffeine Sat 05-Apr-14 21:49:36

Sorry, rant not over.
I forgot to add to my list the restless legs, the constipation and the horrible spots and dry skin.
Despite all this moaning, I am genuinely grateful to be pregnant though.
Rant definitely over....for now.

Pregnantagain7 Sat 05-Apr-14 22:10:49

It's really crap! This my fourth and last so I'm telling myself as each week passes that was the last time you will ever be 12 weeks pregnant in your life, other wise I would cry. A lot. Everyday. ;)

alita7 Sat 05-Apr-14 22:16:53

I want my baby so badly but pregnancy is horrible but I think it's justified. nothing in life is free you have to suffer a lot to get you're perfect lo apparently :p

Boogles91 Sat 05-Apr-14 23:11:16

Im loving every minute of it :D though im in agony everyday and find it dificult to walk and sleep, got acid reflux and sickness headcahes, kidney is agony aswel as its blocked, amongst other things i really am loving it smile i dont know weather its because i had previous mc thats made me cherish all the moments or its just me lol i do understand your feelings though i blame it on hormones that make us feel this way sometimes xx

livingzuid Sat 05-Apr-14 23:15:54

I have hand pregnancy. It is the most stressful thing I have ever done. The anxiety and worry have been awful. I hate the scan fear and the fear of a mc. It has made my bipolar so much worse whereas for most women it's supposed to improve. I have had to take a cocktail of medication for bipolar, thyroid and hg for the whole pregnancy and it has at times made me so sick. And you worry constantly about the baby being affected.

I hate putting on over a kilo a week. I hate that at 31 weeks I am huge and fat despite not being able to eat much. I'm fed up of hg and feeling sick and nauseous most of the day and not being able to even walk to the park with my dog. I miss food, healthy food. Why can I only tolerate super processed food sad I used to be so fit and healthy.

I want a beer as well dammit!

I hate the hormones that mean one minute I'm laughing and the next minute I'm sobbing. I have just looked at my feet and they look like balloons.

I want to sleep. So bad. I'm so tired. But I can't sleep because I'm either running to the loo or my legs never stay still. When I do doze off it's never good sleep. I miss cuddling my husband but I have to hug a bolster or I can't breathe properly at night. When I do get to go to bed rather than having to sleep upright on the sofa.

And no one told me I would stink. I have to buy super strong deodorant and can't wait to burn my pants and put nice new ones on after the baby arrives. It's horrible. My digestive system is fooked too.

Special moisturiser doesn't prevent stretch marks for some of us either. No matter how much it costs.

And I have developed mild spd this last week. Am in awe of women who manage one way or another with spd through pregnancy. Same with hg. I haven't had it nearly as badly as some and can't believe women have toddlers too look after on top of it all.

I saw Emily Blunt wafting through her pregnancy with pics in Vogue looking amazing and serene and how pregnancy was the best thing ever. Bitch even though I do like her really

Rant over. Thank you for the thread smile

livingzuid Sat 05-Apr-14 23:16:51

Hated not hand <cries>

IMissSleep Sun 06-Apr-14 08:09:55

38+3 here and I can't wait for it to be over.
I'm housebound because of BAD spd.
Have painful sciatica.
Baby's bum is under my ribs and a killer when he moves. Which is a lot. Booked in for a section at 39+4. Counting down the days grin

NestingNesting123 Sun 06-Apr-14 12:37:30

I know what you mean squizita. I will never stop being grateful that things worked out for me but I have hated every minute of being pregnant. Nausea, headaches, back pain, insomnia, the worry of a high risk nuchal test/expense and 2 week wait for Harmony results (OBVIOUSLY massively grateful to get a happy outcome from that), itching and now planning to spend the last weeks of my pregnancy in hospital. I wouldn't swap my situation for the world but I'm not enjoying it!

And I won't even mention missing wine, sleeping on my front and having a wardrobe consisting of more than a handful of frumpy dresses and some leggings!

januaryJump Sun 06-Apr-14 14:28:09

A lot of sympathy to those of you that have to inject. I have to do injections daily for 6wks postpartum but none in pg, and those 6wks can't go quick enough, my thighs are unrecognisable by the end and so sore sad

I know a year from now things will be so different, and I'll be enjoying my 2 little ones, just not sure how many times I want to do this! confused I think I have to establish some sort of optimal circumstance in which to have a third, if we decide to, to make it as easy as possible grin

Meerka Sun 06-Apr-14 16:21:35

I hate it deeply. Been discussing with gyne the options for sterilization after this 2nd and last one's out becuase NO WAY on God's earth am I doing this again.

Pregnancy is the nine months misery you have to endure to get to the prize at the end. The actual newborn stage is pretty easy after pregnancy. At least it was last time <adds cautiously just in case it's diff this time, but I can't see how it can possibly be worse than pregnancy>

clarelitt71 Sun 06-Apr-14 20:58:12

Nothing wrong what so ever, if I'm ttuthfulivr hated every minute of being pregnant I've been sick since I was 6wks pregnant and I'm now 28wks & still throwing up I'm tired all the time as the sickness has wiped me out, I've had a kidney infection, E-Coli and was told on Friday I now have diabetes not everyone flourishes through there pregnancies, so if u want to be miserable & moan you go ahead it's your god damn given right :-)

Misscocopops Sun 06-Apr-14 21:17:07

I actually came on here looking for advice on this same thing! I am 16 weeks today and I am so sad really. I always pictured my pregnancy being a happy time but as much as I can't wait to meet baby I hate being pregnant. I always thought women used it as an excuse for being a brat and a cow but I top them all. I can't stand myself! I moan about being pregnant 24/7 I cry at everything (my poor boyfriend just drove round 5 shops looking for chocolate milkshake powder after finding me crying in the room as my brother had used it all up!) I cry for no reason at all because I just feel sad! I fly into rages (I'm usually a very chilled mellow person) I hate how it's not my boobs that have grown but my rib cage so non of my bras - or my clothes fit. I hate I can't fit normal clothes or maternity clothes. I hate how spotty I am. I hate how tired I am. I am so lazy I haven't done washing in over two weeks. I am making so many stupid mistakes at work and can't remember the names of objects such as a pen. My back hurts - my bum smells like a small animal has crawled up and died in it. I am just a sad, miserable, moaning, snivelling, angry pregnant moose. I don't want to cry or feel sick or tired or angry any more. I worry that I'm not normal as everyone said this would go by 14 weeks! I hate being pregnant sad I worry that me and my boyfriend will never be able to afford our mortgage now and will be stuck living with my dad forever, I worry I'll still be crying when baby is here and people will thing I can't cope and take baby away from me. I want to stop working as I just can't cope with life at the moment but I worry about money. Sometimes I'm ok, but I just feel so down and lethargic most of the time and I can't help but compare myself to others aRound my (namely boyfriend bros girlfriend who had a wonderful pregnancy hand was happy and worked all the way through and was back in her size 8 jeans when baby was 2 weeks old!!!!!!) I'm now worried I'm rambling and no one will read this and that ive hijacked Januaryjumps thread. I don't even have a toddler to run after and I'm a total mess!! I was a normal mellow person before this happened!! I love baby I can't wait to meet baby but I seriously can't handled being pregnant! Eugh!!!! sad

Lottiedoubtie Sun 06-Apr-14 22:06:59

^ I read it miss and I agree!

I'm sat, propped up in bed crying my eyes out. I'm 17 weeks and I fucking hate being pregnant. I ache all over, I feel sick, but not just that I feel sick with every inch of my huge body. I feel dizzy and every nown again the room lurches. I have diareah (sp) and have done since the start of the pregnancy, interspersed with odd says of constipation. I can't do anything, I've been off work since 8 weeks and housebound most of the time. I've only started to get better days in the last week or so, and then if I actually do anything (like yesterday I went to a shop) I pay for it with a day of total hell the next.

My mood is down and level ( was going to say up, but that's just an overstatement) like a yoyo. I had no idea pregnancy could be like this.

And I just don't believe women who say they loved pregnancy, it's a fucking dangerous lie which doesn't prepare you for the full horror and leaves you thinking it must be you, and then you read threads like this and realise it isn't.

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