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Any young mums out there? I'm 20 and looking for someone with similar Experiences to share. :)

(13 Posts)
AmyLouise93 Fri 28-Mar-14 17:14:55

Hey there.
Like it states in the subject, I'm only twenty and I have become pregnant. Its with my partner of two years who is supportive but it was unplanned and now I have to give up university and my weekend job and its a bit daunting.
Its really helpful having all these older mums reassuring me but it seems to me they were all ready to have kids and had it planned for ages.
Anyone else out there who is a bit shocked at extent of change??

Ditsydebs Fri 28-Mar-14 17:24:34

I was 20 when I unexpectedly fell pregnant with my first, although it was very daunting i was also very excited and always wanted to be a mum.
You might feel like you are giving up alot to have this baby but you will gain so much more becoming a mum. Sadly you may lose some friends but in time you will get lots more mummy friends. This is a whole new chapter in your life and I wouldn't change it for the world. 12 years on and I am now expecting my third daughter as I love being a mummy so much! Good luck xx

AmyLouise93 Fri 28-Mar-14 17:28:09

I've always wanted to be a mum too, and fancied 3 or 4 kids but I only imagined it in my late twenties. Its not so much that im scared of loosing stuff but more that when I tell people they look at me like im another young pregnant teen. Which I guess I am but I know that I'm smart. and I honest to god believe that I will be a great mum...

Cakehan Fri 28-Mar-14 17:43:32

I'm in the same boat! I'm 20, in my final year at uni so luckily i finish in a few weeks and I'm a few weeks pregnant! About 5/6 I think. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years but definately wasn't planned !

AmyLouise93 Fri 28-Mar-14 17:51:59

Luckily you'll finish in time then. Im just about to finish my second year so I will have to postpone my third year completely.

pinkpompomispretty Fri 28-Mar-14 17:52:53

I fell pregnant with dd1 when I was 19, and am now having dd2 at 24. I was at college and worked part time too and worked and went to college up until a week before I had my dd1. I then went back to work with dd1 and then gave up work to go back to uni and I graduate this year :D so it can be done. It is really tough but I love love love being a mum and its the best thing that's ever happened to me. Me and dp have been together 7 years this year and are getting married next year too :D Good luck with everything u will be great :D

AmyLouise93 Fri 28-Mar-14 17:56:53

I'm sorry, Im new to mumsnet... Whats DD1 and2? Im guessing children. lol. The acronyms confuse me here. :P

Well that's reassuring, I keep telling everyone I can just go back to uni afterwards but they all seem convinvced that i'll be too busy with a baby and have to drop out completely which would be such a shame.

nice to hear a success story though! Wish you guys all the best. smile

britney92 Fri 28-Mar-14 18:09:04

DD darling daughter DS darling son
123 ect depending birth order

I got pregnant at 19 whilst I was about to begin uni and dropped out DS1 was born 2 weeks after my 20th. Big shock and it's been a bloody roller coaster but he's about to turn 18 and we're both alive lol. Have 2 more one 7 and one 2 and being a young mum was definitely more fun. I was a better parent I think the first time. Parenting a child in you mid 30's is crappy.
I gave up a lot but it made me a stronger person and I don't think I missed out

AmyLouise93 Fri 28-Mar-14 18:14:05

Britney92, I think that's the first time I've ever heard anyone say its better to parent young and it makes me feel a lot better. Thanks. smile
And thanks for explaining the acronyms. There was a big gap between your first and second then. It was the same with me and my younger sister. I've always thought that my kids would be quite close together but I don't know how soon i'll be racing to be pregnant again after this one! haha.

Nightwish Fri 28-Mar-14 18:19:19

Do you need to drop out of uni if you don't want to?
I am in my third year and started back when my DS2 was 6 weeks old.
It is hard work but doable.
I have 2 sons, my first I had at 18, second at 22, which I still am.

Everyone kept asking me how I would manage to go back with a young baby and 4 year old, my answer was 'I just will', and I am.
Do what you want not what people tell you.

TantrumsAndBalloons Fri 28-Mar-14 18:47:50

You don't have to go back to uni straight away.

I had dd when I was 19. She is 16 now and I am halfway through my first year of the degree I should have started when I found out I was pregnant grin

22honey Fri 28-Mar-14 23:59:59

Hiya, I'm in a similar situation in that I'm 22, I'm with a long term supportive partner but have had to sack off my college plans for atleast the next 2 years due to the pregnancy. It has caused me occasional worries about my career status in the future but nowhere near the amount of worrying that my baby-to-be is ok!

I don't know if you are similar but lots of my peers and friends are also young mums so I don't feel particularly alone in my situation. I did want to become a mum in my 20s as much prefer to be a younger mum, its the norm up here really and it gives you plenty of time to get back into the workplace to earn and set a good example to your DC's, aswell as having the unavoidable benefit of being the best time biologically to have healthy DC's, easy labour and plenty of time and energy to nurture them. It is also said that it is much easier to get back into shape post baby when you are younger.

My mum had hers at 23, 26 and 28 and now has a stable career she always wanted, her own home and at only 45 has had her 'life back' for several years as her youngest is 17 this year and they don't need her attention as much, so to speak. It has been hard graft for her but it is doable, she was a single mum for some time too.

Congratulations and never feel bad for being a young mother, nature intended you to have babies now :D xxxx

Ludways Sat 29-Mar-14 00:13:22

I'm an older mum, having my babies in my 30's, it was still a shock, lol

I just wanted to say that I'm a child of young parents; 18 when accidentally pg with my sister and then planned with me at 23. My mam and dad were the best parents in the world, I had a wonderful childhood, they're still together and have celebrated 52 years of marriage.

Good luck, you'll be fine!

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