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Noobie needing reassurance

(10 Posts)
hotfuzzra Fri 28-Mar-14 15:51:15

Hello all,
I am new to mumsnet today. A week ago I found out I was pregnant (6 weeks now). We only got married NYE and I came off the pill whilst on honeymoon, so we are (happily) surprised it was so quick!
I'm concerned that it might not work out (the pregnancy not my marriage!). I am 32, not overweight, fit and healthy and don't smoke. I'm taking folic/vit pills, stopped drinking, and doing my best to do the right things. I have never been pregnant before, I am not aware of any family medical problems, my sister has had two successful uncomplicated pregnancies, but I can't shake the fear that something will go wrong and we'll lose it.
I'm scared to tell family and work (I work in a very physical job, and am expected to tell my supervisors so that my role can change whilst I am pregnant to support me)
I am not superstitious but I don't want to tempt fate/jinx it etc
Have many mums here tried and been lucky straight away?
The first doctors appointment I could get is Tues, I hope I can talk through some of these issues with her too.
Thanks in advance, sorry if I'm being a worrier, normally very relaxed and laissez-faire

PenguinsEatSpinach Fri 28-Mar-14 15:58:13

Congratulations!

Unfortunately, there really is very little you can do at this stage to affect the outcome (bar the obvious not doing tequila shots and snorting cocaine, obviously!). And really very little the doctor can tell you. It's hard, but you just have to wait and see. And bear in mind that, although very early miscarriages are common, the odds are still on your side that things will go well.

I fell pregnant easily with my first and all was fine. I've since had two miscarriages at different times. It partly comes from knowing so early. What our mothers would have marked down as a late or missed period, we know to be a very early miscarriage.

Go ahead and tell work if you need to. There is no need to tell family yet if you aren't ready.

Mmolly2013 Fri 28-Mar-14 16:31:04

I got pregnant first attempt first month off pill also. Don't worry so much. I decided at start not to worry about every little ache or pain or lack of symtoms as I was only sick twice in total, and just let fate take its course. I will be 19 weeks tomorrow and because I'm not worrying everything has been so smooth

Banana82 Fri 28-Mar-14 16:39:25

Congratulations!

I too fell pregnant in our first month of trying and found it hard not to worry. I felt it came too easily to us and that something would happen. I still do worry now at 28 weeks. I think when one worry goes, another one comes! I think you worry so much because you care so much for your baby already and no matter how many time you are told not to worry, it doesn't make a difference. I am also a very laid back person so this is all new to me!

You don't have to tell anyone until you are ready. If your work is too physically demanding are you able to have a confidential conversation with your manager who can asign you to other duties? Making it clear that you don't want to make any announcement yet? I felt exactly the same about jinxing things even though I am not supersticious. I only told the people who had to know, even after 12 weeks and even now people at work are only just finding out.

hotfuzzra Fri 28-Mar-14 16:48:23

Thanks everyone,
@Banana82 I wasn't going to say straight away but I am a police officer, working with a team of around 25 people. They can put me on 'light duties' in the office but, as a newlywed who has not made it a secret that we'd like a family, I think they'll all guess!
The big thing really is we don't want to tell approximately 25 work colleagues before our families and best friends!

Mmolly2013 Fri 28-Mar-14 16:51:33

I told close family at 6 weeks as they would have known anyway then work at 9 weeks as I only started my job and was worried. Work was fantastic. although I only told management until
12 weeks.

Mmolly2013 Fri 28-Mar-14 16:51:56

Then told friends and colleagues

SwimmingMom Fri 28-Mar-14 17:37:27

Tell the most important people in your life. Coz if things go wrong you will need their support & kindness anyways! After that tell at work. Doesn't matter if irrelevant people come to know - more important is that you feel I'm control of who knows & who doesn't.

Had an MC with my first (accidental) pregnancy at 11 weeks. Then a successful pregnancy & now at 11.4 weeks. Very jittery but still told parents & couple of immediate friends whom I would like to lean on if the worst happens.

Whether you tell or not, the situation is out if your control. Don't worry too much..just carry on & try not to dream too much before the 13th week. grin

saralou212 Fri 28-Mar-14 21:23:56

Hi my advice is tell people when your ready. Im 14 weeks, I told my parents before my first scan but wish I had held off because I had a bad nt measurement (downs syndrome testing) and spent the next two weeks in pieces.
Although it was nice to have their support I think it caused them unnecessary worry.
We have just decided to start telling the rest of our family and friends and what will be will be.
My work is very physical and hard going and I still havent told them yet im just taking it steady. As long as you dont do anything out of the ordinary you should be fine. Good luck with everything :-)

wispaxmas Fri 28-Mar-14 23:49:26

The worrying never goes away! I'm pregnant with my first as well and despite never having been pregnant before I had the same anxiety from early on. Only difference is I've known quite a few people to suffer recurrent miscarriages, including my sister.

I thought the fear would go away if I had an early scan at 8 weeks. I was reassured for a few days, but then my sister stupidly told me she had seen a heartbeat at an 8-wk scan only to miscarry at 12 weeks. Thanks for that!

Then I thought the fear would go away after the 12 wk scan, but then a couple weeks later someone I know went into extremely preterm labour at just under 20 weeks, giving birth to a stillborn baby boy. Cue anxiety again.

And now, even in the third trimester I worry about whether baby is moving enough, big enough, too big, etc, etc.

Apparently it doesn't stop after they're born, either. I think it's called motherhood.

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