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Depressed with morning sickness-help!

(14 Posts)
Tezxx Fri 28-Mar-14 09:01:42

Hi,

I don't know if I'm just being a wimp, but I am 9 weeks pregnant tomorrow with my second child and I have never felt so depressed in my life! I had hyperemesis with my first child and even then I never felt this down about the sickness. I was admitted to hospital 6 times last time- only once so far this time. I haven't been at work for nearly 4 weeks and I find myself moping around all day on my own. I feel like I'm neglecting my daughter as I don't have the energy and feel too sick to take care of her, which is causing high rifts between me and my fiancé.

He's told me he's fallen out of love with me and we argue every night he gets home from work. And when he's not here I just find myself crying about it.

I just need some help. I don't know if I'm just being a moody cow bag! I feel horrendous!

Also I do suffer with depression.

Thanks!

ithoughtofitfirst Fri 28-Mar-14 09:07:50

You poor thing sad hugs xx

I have depression too and found the height of morning sickness a particularly dark time. I feel much better now though at 11 weeks and i hope to feel better again in a few weeks.

I went through a really rough patch with dh when our boy was 1yr old. It was awful i.e. seperate beds, the works. It's a period of change that can put a strain on anything.

Can you chat with your MW?

LightTripper Fri 28-Mar-14 09:14:28

Just wanted to send a hug. Do try the hyperemesis thread on this board, you'll get lots of support there. I only had normal sickness, but even with that wondered how on earth people with toddlers manage. It must be putting a huge strain on you and your OH.

Do you have anybody else who could help? Just a friend to talk to, or even better somebody who would give you some practical support to just take the pressure off a bit? Or even take DD out for an hour so you can have a proper talk with your OH to sort out a better way forward? Him saying such horrible things really doesn't help, however much pressure he is under. I think it is very hard for other people to understand how overwhelming and exhausting the nausea is.

You will get through this (which I know you know, but sometimes it helped me to be reminded that there was an end date). Xx

Tezxx Fri 28-Mar-14 10:52:44

Thank you both! I've tried to speak to my mum, who I thought would be more understanding and her words were basically why are you having another baby then, leave him. Hardly words of encouragement really and hasn't made me feel much better. I feel so low and helpless, I have the midwife today but she was the same midwife as last time and just feel she won't understand. I don't know if maybe the doctor can do anything for me?

ithoughtofitfirst Fri 28-Mar-14 11:57:15

The doctor might suggest an antidepressant like sertraline and might refer you for counselling.

People can really lack sympathy sometimes. I found that until i opened up to people and said that i thought i was depressed then they would just brush me off. They put you off opening up then. I just spoke to my dh on the phone and didn't tell him how i'm feeling today (low and hopeless) because sometimes i don't want to give people the opportunity to say something unhelpful and make me feel worse. that shouldn't put you off taking to your gp though. Tell then exactly how you're feeling.

Everything is super heightened w hen you're pregnant so allow yourself to feel crappy because you're npt yourself at your best when you're pregnant.

Chin up hun, this WILL pass ok? Xx

Seeline Fri 28-Mar-14 12:00:40

Are you on meds for the morning sickness? If not get to the GPs and demand some. I'm sure if you can feel better in that respect then the rest wouldn't seem quite so bad. I remember the sense of sheer isolation I had with my first pg as I barely left the house for about 9 weeks as I felt so ill.

somedizzywhore1804 Fri 28-Mar-14 12:04:43

26 weeks here and been ill since week 6. Off work too. Only thing that's got me through is my lovely and supportive DH. Doesn't sound like your fiancé is being very supportive?

Vespar7 Fri 28-Mar-14 15:22:14

You poor thing. I am 22 weeks at the moment with my second and have had awful sickness both times. It definitely made me feel down even depressed. Even after the sickness got a bit better I still felt a bit down. My DP and I also went through a rough patch when I was at my worst. I think I is hard for them to be understanding when it goes on such a long time. No excuse though. Could it be that you are shutting him out a bit and he doesn't know how to cope with that. With me I felt so awful that I just wanted to lie in bed alone and not talk. Looking back I can see that is is hard to live with someone like that though they should try harder in my opinion. Hope you feel better soon!

SwimmingMom Fri 28-Mar-14 16:00:06

OP - your story is exactly the same as mine at the moment - too much sickness, neglecting DC1, rows with DH over housework, feeling like I want to be looked after & not questioned about what am unable to do! Still at week 12, but 9,10,11 were absolute hell!!!

I've usually been done with sickness after the first trimester so probably you are worse off that I am imagining.

Don't push yourself to do much. Just rest when you need to. DC1 can have a TV fest if that's what it takes to survive. Buy healthy meal options which don't need much work. Whatever needs to be done, do it when you feel ok. Let the house look like chaos. It's ok. Just rest & try to get some meds to make you better.

Hugs!

Tezxx Fri 28-Mar-14 18:06:58

Thank you all! It's so nice to have some advice from someone who understands. My partner and I have had a big chat and I think we're both just stressed at the moment. He is taking a lot on- the house work and caring for our daughter. I think I may go to the doctors next week and see if I can get some help. I currently take ondansetron and metoclopromide. Has anyone else had any experience with these medicines?

Vespar7 Fri 28-Mar-14 20:53:26

I took metroclopromide this time round and found it didn't really help. Last time I was given something else I can't remember the name cyclizine I think and though that didn't stop me feeling sick it helped with the actual vomiting. Good luck!

aroha77 Fri 28-Mar-14 22:33:45

Poor you sad glad you've been able to have a chat with your OH.
I'm on promethazine which has really helped xx

LightTripper Fri 28-Mar-14 22:52:29

My GP was v sympathetic, and gave me prochlorperazine. I'm afraid it didn't do much for me (helped me not throw up, but didn't feel any better, so took it before a couple of big meetings but not regularly). But it works for some people, and there are safe things you can try so definitely worth talking to your GP. I would also mention the history of depression, as it may be relevant to what sickness drugs they might prescribe.

So glad you managed a talk with your OH. Sounds like a good step in the right direction. Good that you can show your appreciation for what he does, but also that he can understand you are not being ill for fun!

Hang on in there and do go and see the GP (and if you get a dinosaur who isn't helpful the hyperemesis thread will be full of advice on how to get proper support!)

Night night xx

Tezxx Sat 29-Mar-14 09:11:30

Hi everyone.

I've have prochloriperizine (spelling is probably not right!) last time but it was called buccastem. It didn't really agree with me, as it was in dissolving form and had to let it dissolve on my gum, which more often than not, the taste just made me sick. I'm getting by on the metoclopromide and ondansetron but like many of you said it just stops you from being sick, not feeling rubbish!

I can't find a recent hyperemesis thread, I'm new to netmums so I'm pretty rubbish at it! If anyone could steer me in the right direction that would be brill!

Thank you all for your replies, just knowing there is someone to talk to makes me feel better. Also completely sorted with my OH

Thanks! X

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