Advanced search

Pregnant? See how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.

Need to moan / vent about OH... anyone else?

(16 Posts)
Kri5ty Mon 24-Mar-14 15:57:13

As the title says i need a good old moan, I'm feeling sorry for myself!

I'm 32 weeks with my 2nd. DS is 2. I'm still working 35 hours over 3 days and take my son to classes / groups on the others. As well as the cleaning, shopping etc.

I've got SPD so I'm in agony with that, i cracked a rib through whooping cough in december, so that kills everytime i get kicked. Really bad varacoise veins all down one leg that im struggling with. Not to mention the normal aches/pains that come with pregnancy. I'm constantly exhausted.

I've asked for feet rubs/massages he just says hes too tired.
Anytime i happen to mention how I'm feeling ie in pain etc he gets pissed-off. So I've just carried on and tried to say nothing.
i caved in last week though and mentioned something, his response was "there's always something".

sounds pathetic the reason why, but i just broke down crying and needed a moan. We've both had a cold the past few days. He is obviously taking medicine, I'm not. I had an hours sleep whilst ds napped, OH got home fro work and he went for a sleep too.
i had a bath to try and help with pains (this pissed him off)
Then DS was crying because he wanted to go and cuddle OH and say hello. I tried explaining he was asleep as he was poorly.
Enter toddler tantrum crying because he wanted to see him. I couldn't pick him off The floor because of spd. OH starts shouting "you may as well let him up, seems as though hes crying at the bottom of stairs" He was in such a mood and sarcastic. Then starts shouting all other things that i didn't hear.

Wish i could get him to understand what it feels like being pregnant! I'm exhausted!
He gets pissed off when u cant do things. He gets pussed off I've been coughing non stop for the past. 3 months (as though i am enjoying coughing and wetting myself everytime!)

I'm having a c section and I'm dreading the recovery because i know he will be no support and we have a toddler too!

DomesticGoddess31 Mon 24-Mar-14 16:12:39

Geez I thought my DH was bad, you poor thing, big hugs! I'm getting very little in the way of sympathy or support too so understand how you feel. I spent yesterday in tears and ranting to DH about how let down i feel by everyone around me. He was actually genuinely apologetic for once. I nearly fell off my chair in shock. These men have no clue what we go through do they?

Kri5ty Mon 24-Mar-14 16:15:22

They sure don't, i can't even be bothered bringing it up with h as he will just be sarcastic and sulk!

i hope that was the kick up the bum your OH needs!!

ithoughtofitfirst Mon 24-Mar-14 16:26:49

The cold thing. So true. I made the mistake of mentioning it today and got "if it's the same thing that i had..." well it fucking isn't okay cause you got to take LEMSIP for yours.

This morning i got "i am SO fed up with that state of the place i just feel like taking the day off to sort it" oh be my fucking guest if you think you can do better.

I feel your pain. They are a different breed.

Kri5ty Mon 24-Mar-14 17:26:22

Make him take the day off and do it!!
i went on strike, it got to 2 weeks and the house was filthy- i gave in!

they really are from a different planet!

Waggamamma Mon 24-Mar-14 18:02:07

I could gave written this. My first pregnancy dp was so caring and understanding and did lots to make things easier for me.

This time round I just seem to be getting on his nerves, I've been a lot sicker and more exhausted and ge just doesn't understand sad . He just tells me to get over it and how he's sick of doing everything and me sleeping my life away.

I'm only 16wks too and this baby was a joint decision to ttc again. Sorry I have no advice but your not alone, although it can feel really bloody lonely when the person closest to you is being such a shit.

emmajbxxx Mon 24-Mar-14 21:11:31

Feeling your pain OP. MIne constantly moans about work/how he feels etc. Well try being 33 weeks with constant sickness, back pains, oral thrush, piles, spd, no sleep and cold after cold!
I think when we are pregnant we just see even more what dickheads men can really be. Just imagine if they had to do it..... We'd never hear the end of their moan

emmajbxxx Mon 24-Mar-14 21:12:58

Oops pressed send too early. We would never hear the end of their moaning. My OH is really getting me down actually, comes home and doesn't even ask how I'm feeling or how I am sometimes :-( Feel abit invisible and incredibly let down

slightlyinsane Mon 24-Mar-14 21:15:20

There all arses and now I'm going to end up with car seats a colour I don't want because I've had to go to bed for dhs safety.
I'm lucky (apparently) I'm a sahm and get to do everything around the house and to do with the kids. Dh gets to dress himself, in the clothes I've left out for him, and eat the breakfast he's been made before he goes and gets people to run around after him at work all day. He comes home to eat the food I've cooked for him and sit and watch tv till bed time. I'm so fed up at the mo with them all, kids get some allowances, for completely taking the piss. I would love someone to make me a meal one day or even just a pissing cup of tea. Hes another one that has no clue what so ever, or any understanding how hard it is to be pregnant. I'm finding it particularly difficult this time measuring practically full term at only 28 wks knowing I've got another 9 wks of growth to add to it. Anyone who has a complete inconsiderate arse of another half has my complete sympathy. (Can you tell I'm in a foul mood tonight???? :-) )

AuditAngel Mon 24-Mar-14 21:31:40

I'm not pregnant, but I have 3DC and I sympathise.

DH admits he gets man flu and can be a wimp. He fell over while on a skiing holiday (week away from the kids while I picked up the slack) he came home whinging to discover my shoulder muscle in spasm, trapped nerve and problem with a disc in my neck (I hadn't told him about it while he was away). At first he thought he might get some sympathy, but to be fair, once had saw how bad I was, he at least stopped whinging about having fallen over.

In my last 2 pregnancies I spent a lot of time in hospital (4 weeks and a total of 6weeks), a bit extreme, but makes them value you more!

alita7 Mon 24-Mar-14 21:42:26

oP he sounds awful! I hope he never gets seriously ill and wants your sympathy!

I have similar problems with DP. though not as bad as you!

We've all had a cold and he's feeling rough so he won't do anything... I have the same cold and at nearly 8 weeks pregnant feel awfully sick and tired as well. yet he's worse of course... he's been made redundant a while ago so he's not working and It seems Ive had to do the bulk of the house work despite being on placement (student nurse) at the moment.... He is also not very understanding of tiredness!

men really need to try out being pregnant!

MrsMonkeyBear Tue 25-Mar-14 06:15:22

Mines not that bad, but I still want to kill him. He's just had 4 days off work, whilst I've gone and done my usual shifts. We are moving this weekend, and guess who has done all the packing!!!! He whines when I ask him to do anything, even if it's something as simple as feeding the cat. He went to play football last night and has decided to stay at his friends so he could play bloody FIFA. He's 28 but he thinks he's 12. Admittedly I did have my best nights sleep in ages last night, as I did not have to listen to his snoring!!!!

Looking at the other posts have I got worse to come???

Good luck with your OH's ladies. Just remember they are giant children and we will get revenge one day!!!


Kri5ty Tue 25-Mar-14 17:23:34

Cheers girlies, although i feel bad for you all with crappy OHs, it makes me feel better I'm not the only one!

slightlyinsane satm's have my upmost respect. Although i work full time, i do it over 3 days. I still prepare all the meals etc for ds on those days, but being out of the house (and at work) is a break!

He just doesn't realise i do the work of a sahm and work full time - douche! ( haha I've never used that word!)

hes going out tonight so i get the bed to myself :D

prettywhiteguitar Tue 25-Mar-14 18:59:18

I got a cleaner and take it out of the household budget, I'm not pregnant so you guys have my full admiration for doing all that and being pregnant !

My dp didn't want a cleaner but also genuinely doesn't have the time to help, he does a bit but not enough. I struggled for years doing it all myself and now I would rather go without and pay £20 a week not to be exhausted and still at work cleaning on my day off. It's exhausting and the cleaner is much more efficient and it seems to last longer too when she does it

AuditAngel Tue 25-Mar-14 19:43:37

I forgot to say, if men had the children, I think there would be a lot more only children!

hubbahubster Thu 27-Mar-14 20:10:06

I could throttle DH today. He's had all this week off to do the driveway. He's laid one row of bricks on one side. He's complaining that he's hung the washing out (I usually do that in 10 mins before going to work - it hardly takes all day) and I'm so down because he's done f-all else. The house is a tip, he hasn't thought about dinner, he hasn't walked the dog... What's he been doing for four days?

Meanwhile I'm 31 weeks with DC2, made breakfast for us all this morning, cleaned and tidied the kitchen, unpacked and repacked the dishwasher and iced a batch of cupcakes all BEFORE work this morning. Since coming home I have set the dishwasher off (despite me asking him to do it as I left...), baked cakes with DC1, made his dinner, put him to bed, done the washing up that had just been dumped in te sink...

And he's put the flipping washing out. The washing I put on this morning. And he hasn't brought it in yet, despite it being past 8pm.


Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: