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Scared stress is going to make me lose baby

(13 Posts)
Teddybear33 Sat 22-Mar-14 01:45:39

Ivd had a really stressful week and this has ended tonight with me wondering of the baby is going to survive the stress and even if baby does, if my marriage is going to be over before the baby is born.

I'm nearly 16 weeks.

How much stress can the poor little thing take before it is too much? Are they resilient enough to cope? I'm so worried.

Sorry been a very bad week and need some reassurance.

GoldieBear Sat 22-Mar-14 02:15:51

Didn't want to read and run.
Try not to worry, easy to say I know.
I had a very stressful pregnancy with DS and thought I was going to induce labour 2 weeks before I actually had him when I found inappropriate videos of my work colleague on ex h phone! Resulted in a mile walk (waddle) home and lots of arguing.
I worried loads about how that would affect the baby but I don't think it did.

What kind of stress are you under?
I realise it's only early weeks for you still and your bound to worry about lots of things anyway.

Is this your first?

lucy101 Sat 22-Mar-14 02:55:09

Gosh, you mustn't worry about this. I lost baby near term and then got pregnant again 3 may months later. I was beside myself with stress in that 2nd pregnancy (and was already a very anxious person)... and worried about that too. I had a lovely, funny, happy little boy who isn't the least bit anxious.

However, is there anything you can do to manage your stress? Just for your own sake? It's miserable to be so worried.

porcito Sat 22-Mar-14 03:51:31

I don't know if this will help, but if you scroll to the bottom, it says that stress doesn't cause miscarriages http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Miscarriage/Pages/Causes.aspx
I spent a long time worrying about the same thing after a VERY anxious, stressful first trimester, there's lots of research that shows it doesn't affect the development of the baby, just has a hard effect on you! Hope things become better for you.

Chells Sat 22-Mar-14 04:26:38

It sounds like you're going to be a lovely, caring mummy!! I was in highly stressful job with DD1 and all I can recommend is to TRY take some time out for yourself . Keep an eye on your blood pressure, esp in later months ( I developed hypertension) . At this early stage your baby is well insulated from the world and as long as you eat well, drink lots of water, excercise and take all the recommended vits and omega etc... I don't you should worry too much! It is tough when you're already stressed, but you're just adding to the pressure on yourself. Would highly recommend pregnancy yoga/Pilates/aqua, even if only once a week, as some down/you time . Lots of hugs!

Teddybear33 Sat 22-Mar-14 07:56:07

I feel very selfish after reading some of your posts. Lucy101 sorry you had to go through what you did. I'm so pleased you have a healthy little boy now. Goldiebear likewise what a horrible experience for you. Chells hypertension is definitely something I can see me getting if I'm not careful.
Portico thanks for the link.

My stress, seems so trivial now, but having some difficulties with my family and currently have a selfish husband who doesn't seem to accept that there are changes afoot (baby was planned and very much wanted, I believe by both of us!) but he has a bit of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and last night he was steaming, and didn't think about me (or baby) at all, and it upsets me he puts the booze before me or now baby. Like I say seems quite minor in comparison to the situations you ladies have been in, thank you for your support. X

lucy101 Sat 22-Mar-14 08:32:51

Oh no I didn't want you to feel that! Just to make you feel better!! It sounds like that is very stressful actually and it's good to recognise and acknowledge it. I hope you can feel better and hopefully dh will start supporting you more.

Mumbledore Sat 22-Mar-14 08:51:54

Could you have a complete day to yourself today? Maybe go to town, buy a new lipstick, treat yourself to a nice lunch then come home and lie on the sofa with chocolate and your favourite film? Looking after you = looking after baby! Sorry you're having a rubbish time thanks hope things pick up.

squizita Sat 22-Mar-14 11:30:39

Don't worry: the idea that stress 'causes' miscarriage is one of those things 'everyone knows' (they say) ... except miscarriage experts and midwives and mums! I've done some research and actually it might have something to do with scaring women back to the kitchen after the wars. Also some confusion with stress at birth (which can make it slower, although not dangerous per say). POrcito links to a good source, also Lesley Regan's book on miscarriage if there's one at your library explains well. smile smile

If you think about the stressful (to different levels) circumstances babies are born under- a woman with 8 kids already tearing round, a working mum, war, bereavement, poverty, women who had a terrible 1st birth, women who have experienced miscarriage/stillbirth ... their babies are just fine. So don't worry or feel guilty.

But for YOU it makes life tough and you deserve care too. YOU have had a horrid time of it so take some TLC time and spoil yourself ... use your daily caffeine 'lot' for a proper nice creamy drink in a cafe, read a good book or a movie, treat yourself etc'. smile

YouAreMyRain Sat 22-Mar-14 12:12:39

I was totally stressed throughout my whole pregnancy. I was already on anxiety medication before I even got pregnant. The midwives referred me to a mental health midwife for extra support. My little one is six months old, thriving and totally chilled out. Xx

Monkeybrain10 Sat 22-Mar-14 12:17:29

My sis had an incredibly stressful pregnancy with knobby ex husband calling her fat and ugly then having numerous affairs etc etc. She went on to have a beautiful healthy baby (and has since remarried! :-)
So no evidence for stress causing problems there. I have had one miscarriage and it happened after a particularly stressful day at work, but i have actually always felt that my not coping that day was probably most likely because my body knew something was wrong. Am now pg again...so far so good. Have had a number of stessy times from arguments to lying awake with a racing heart but honestly i think if your baby is viable (sorry to sound so clinical - that is my way of accepting the mc) then it Will be fine. But for your own well being try to take some steps to destress as best u can. :-)

IglooisnowinSheffield Sat 22-Mar-14 12:57:26

I don't think stress can cause mc, my mc was in my stress free pregnancy!

In my case it didn't even bring on labour, we lost parents at the end if both my pregnancies and both times I went on to 42 weeks! You'd think I'd have gotten a break somewhere shock

On the plus side I have the most chilled out children ever, I hope things settle down and you get to enjoy your pregnancy, it should be a lovely time and it's hard when it dies to go to plan.

Teddybear33 Sat 22-Mar-14 19:54:36

Ah lucy101 that's really kind of you but I can't help feel so sad you had to go through what you did. Monkeybrain10 very happy to hear your sister moved on and remarried, just from the little you have said it sounds like she 100% did the right thing! Igloo that is very sad that you both went through that. Glad you have to lovely children.

DH is very sorry today, as he always is after a big drinking session. I think he's starting to realise how much of an impact it has on me.

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