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Teachers- when did you tell your class that you were pregnant

(35 Posts)
Izzy82 Fri 07-Mar-14 21:22:45

As it says really. I'm a year 6 teacher, and am 16 weeks. I have quite a bump but not one of them have noticed. Should I tell them or would you wait until they notice?

squizita Sat 08-Mar-14 13:18:29

My surname is not Mrs Genericirishsurname wink ...that would be hard for my literacy group to spell.

MummaSmurf1 Sat 08-Mar-14 14:21:08

I think it is more in primary because the parents get very anxious about who is teaching their child once maternity leave starts. I suppose they think a whole term of a different teacher all day makes a bigger impact than a whole term of one subject being disrupted.
I think parents are a lot more involved/ nosy in primary as they are often at the gates.

squizita Sat 08-Mar-14 17:15:32

Mumma I can understand that - we get that too (with Y11 English, Science, Maths - believe me I get daily phonecalls from some parents) however you still cannot forget teachers are human beings just doing a job. Whilst grabbing that kind of control might make things easier for the head, the head should be creating a healthy learning environment with healthy boundaries.

I've worked with both primary (a run-through reception-6th form school) and secondary (only been pregnant in secondary) and as I mentioned before, RL friends who work in primary haven't had a manager take this out of their control. Never. Because it wasn't expected, parents in those primaries felt trusting the head would hire someone good, there wasn't a gosspi-fest etc'. It's a hard culture to build: of course it's easier to control timings to suit yourself as manager. But it isn't right. Nowhere in any contract would it ever say "the head chooses when you tell everyone you're pregnant in case parents worry" in any case.

I have had to explain to anxious parents when their expectations are impinging on my team's private life (e.g. just because their work email is synced up to their iphone doesn't mean your child can expect an answer when revising late at night or on a Sunday... this is a regular one. Also asking about the sexuality of staff when parents are religious. Some parents refuse to understand that it isn't on).
In no other job would a boss be in charge of the timing of telling people who aren't even family or friends. Indeed when I worked in the city a manager was demoted after doing this (twice) so humiliating to his team was it considered. It would be incredibly upsetting and the loss of a sense of control could create real issues for a pregnant woman after infertility, miscarriage or stillbirth.

Ohwhatsoccuring Sat 08-Mar-14 18:30:22

With my first 2 I stopped trying to hide it after the 12 wk scan and just waited for them to notice (primary so it took a very long time) then the grapevine took over, no announcement.
This time though (different school) it will be after the 12 wk scan this week, as that is when we plan to tell our other children.
I teach my daughter and so will let her tell the rest of the class. The head will also then put it on a newsletter for the parents. I can't wait as wardrobe choices have been a major issue and the older kids (rec/y1/y2) have been giving me curious looks as my tummy is huge already.

johull Sat 08-Mar-14 19:24:31

I'm a secondary school teacher and decided to tell them after 12 week scan,I teach teenagers so they're more difficult to keep things from then primary teachers.

porcito Sat 08-Mar-14 20:43:38

My classes guessed already (secondary). I'm only 10 weeks but my belly is huge. The old 'it's none of your business' isn't working too well, just serves to keep the rumour mill going. It's a really small community so very gossipy at the best of times! At least they know why I've been such a terrible teacher for the past few weeks! The best part is listening to them speculate which hideous, ageing members of staff are the father (despite them also knowing my husband!)

squizita Sat 08-Mar-14 20:51:03

Portico I'm wondering who my year group will assume is the dad! I'm not showing yet but I'm sure when I do I shall be connected to many a colleague who I wouldn't touch with someone else's bargepole!

talulahbelle Sat 08-Mar-14 20:51:15

I'm secondary, and told mine about 12weeks. I kind of gave it away by retching out of a bus window on a school trip that week though. Luckily (?) the worst of my sickness was over the xmas holidays.
At the moment quite a lot of my classes are trying o help me name the baby...

Raxacoricofallapatorius Sun 09-Mar-14 10:47:27

squizita, you've completely misunderstood our situation. DD's teacher is recently married, it IS a village school and we knew she was planning children straight after the wedding but she is happy with this. She's a friend to a lot of us, as well as our children's teacher. She specifically asked the head to let all of the parents know at the same time as she wanted to reassure us as the children are currently gearing up for their SATs and she wanted us to know the reason for her continued absence, plus she knew that the age of the children and some of their sensitivities/worries round SATs/SEN meant that it was best that the parents explained it, not the teacher. The announcement was her own, the words her own, she just asked the head to do it as he has access to our personal details, she doesn't. She feels neither beholden to explain her medical history nor coerced into telling us early.

I posted merely to say that the way our school did it made sense for myriad reasons. The teacher made the decision of when to tell and why but she didn't tell the children before she'd told all of the parents and with clarity around what this meant for her current teaching commitment.

And I know the pressures teachers face. I am one. grin

squizita Sun 09-Mar-14 11:07:31

Raxa sorry. For some reason I misunderstood that the choice hadn't come from the teacher but from senior staff (I think because someone else mentioned their head 'deciding'). smile

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