Feeling guilty about being grumpy with my dc

[thecakeisalie]

I'm 36 weeks now with dc3 and have two boys who are 4 & nearly 3. I'm a sahm to them and they are both home full time. I'm really starting to struggle and find myself getting grumpy with them. My patience is really wearing thin at times and I'm feeling really guilty about it. The t.v is on too much, its getting difficult to take them out on my own and they generally are just getting on my nerves more than usual.

I'm trying not to have high expectations and accept that my parenting standards might slip temporarily but I just feel so guilty. I think it might be easier if I was sleeping better and if DH wasn't right at the end of a project at work so working late most nights to complete it. I don't think there's much he can really do about that and he will be taking 4 weeks off after baby has arrived so I can't complain at that it's just rubbish timing with the project.

Anyone feeling guilty about being a grumpy Mum just lately?

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Oh my god. YES.

I'm not even particularly grumpy just being crap with him, relying on cbeebies way too much and struggling to take him out because i can't stop feeling sick and dizzy. And just under such a dark cloud all the time.

The guilt is unreal.

[Misty9]

Yep, nearly 35 weeks here and definitely more snappy with poor ds (2.5yo). I couldn't cope with two that's for sure! I worry if this is how I feel now, how bad will it be with sleep deprivation added in?? I'm lucky to have dh work from home so he does all bedtimes and is there for dinner too.

Don't worry about using tv to give you a break - it's not forever. I think just getting through each day is a good goal at this stage! Have you talked to your dc about why mummy is more tired? If I get snappy, I apologise and explain it's because mummy is tired and achy and he seems to understand is probably storing up all his resentment until she's here!

[Mummyinpink1289]

well you definately have your work cut out for you so i wouldnt be hard on yourself for being less patient than usual. Maybe just try and have a few more 'alone time' moments with them each to even just read stories or have a cuddle and a giggle together so they still get that one on one attention they need - im only 11 weeks and feel so sick and tired all the time im finding i just cant take them playing up like usual. mine are 3 and 6 and luckily when i go on maternity leave in september my youngest will be starting school as i live in Wales!

It wont be for much longer and then they will have a gorgeous new brother or sister and you can all focus on getting back to some sort of normality but dont feel guilty, its totally normal you feel this way.

[thecakeisalie]

Thanks for the replies. I'm glad others think it's normal I just feel awful being snappy with them they really are great kids even if they are demanding at times. I think it's mostly the fighting and arguing over various toys that gets to me after a while.

Misty9 - I've chatted to ds1 about why I'm grumpier than usual and why I can't do as much, he does seem to understand. He says he's looking forward to the baby being here too so I don't think it's bothering them too much, just my guilt levels. I don't think ds2 really gets it yet as he's a bit young and he's still very much a Mummy's boy so not sure how he'll adjust but we'll see.

When I think about it the kids are probably loving getting more t.v and easy food. I was just having one of those moments earlier where I felt so guilt ridden especially as we have a few more weeks where I'm only going to get bigger and grumpier It doesn't help that dh was supposed to be having a day off today but ended up working so I was hoping for a bit of a help and instead its just been a regular day. At least it'll be worth it in the end!

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Bless you. It will be easier soon i'm sure. You only care cause you're a good mum so give yourself a break.

I am having one of those weeks where everything is getting to me and i'm under such a dark cloud. I am just lonely, sick, tired, guilty, hormonal, skint and feel hideous. I know it's just a phase but riding it out isso hard sometimes. Eurgh.