I am new to mumsnet so apologies if I have posted this on the wrong part of the site.
I had an abortion 2 months ago at 10 weeks and have been devastated ever since. I am mid-30s and childless and was delighted when I discovered I was pregnant - although my relationship with the father was and is not stable, I was happy to have the child as a single mum, am financially secure and have a supportive family.
I wasn't able to tell the father for some time but his reaction was even worse than I anticipated and in just a few hours he had convinced me to have the termination and one day later I was at the clinic - until you've been in that situation it is hard to see how it is possible for an independent and educated woman to be coerced in that way, and I know now I was so vulnerable with the hormones I was really in no fit state to defend my wishes. The clinic (Marie Stopes) were awful - I was sobbing the whole time I was there and barely able to speak, and their 'aftercare' was a joke. I know I walked in there and signed the consent but I was in a terrible state.
I would do anything to turn back the clock now and am scared that I will never recover from this and it is all I think about. I tried the Marie Stopes phone counselling service which didn't help, and have been supported by close friends and family, but I am just full of regret and guilt. I am also scared that this was my opportunity to have a child and that I might struggle to conceive again. Does anyone else have a similar experience of aborting a pregnancy as a childless 'older' woman - but who then went on to have successful pregnancies?
Please don't tell me how stupid I have been, I already know that :(
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Struggling to come to terms with abortion and post-abortion regret
3 replies
Bella619 · 03/03/2014 15:42
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