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Which appointments did your other half attend with you?

(70 Posts)
inmybelly Fri 28-Feb-14 04:18:34

Just curious!

My boyfriend is keen to attend all scans and is open to the idea of attending ante natal classes (although not keen!). But I think getting him to be there for midwife appointments and other GP check ups (unless something is wrong) may be pushing it!

What did your partner do?

Also, from the midwife/GP perspective are there any appointments that he really should attend?

Tomorrow I'm getting my 2nd HCG blood test done and we'll get the results later that day I think. My OH really doesn't want to come in with me for the test (we're both on annual leave this week) and when I pressed him for a reason why, he admitted it was because the parking is too expensive and he'd rather hover outside in the car!!

...I think this may become an ongoing theme...

RedPencils Fri 28-Feb-14 08:32:58

Booking in, all bar one scan ( I had loads), consultant appointments and ante natal classes.

No midwife apointments.

He came to the fetal monitoring unit with me once, after watching me sleep for an hour through the monitoring he decided not to bother again.

Mitchell2 Fri 28-Feb-14 08:41:43

Scans and will go to the antenatal classes. Also comes with me when I get my bloods done as I'm a wimp. No consultants appt but he would come to those too if needed. Doesn't come to midwife appt... But I never have even asked him to. I'm sure if I wanted him there he'd come but at moment don't see the need. Oh and he is happily watching OBEM with me as part of our first timer education grin

LastOneDancing Fri 28-Feb-14 08:49:07

Same as most - DH has come to all scans and the antenatal classes.

The only MW appointment he's come to was 34 weeks when we went through the birth 'discussion' (they don't call it a plan here!). I think it was important for both of us to go so we'd be slightly more prepared-ish. Kind of.

offside Fri 28-Feb-14 08:53:36

My DP has been to everything with me up to now and is quite excited to attend the antenatal classes I have in mind.

I'm lucky in that my DP works from home most of the time, so if my appointments are booked enough in advance he can just pencil himself out for a couple of hours so no meetings get arranged for him.

Mrsantithetic Fri 28-Feb-14 08:55:15

Just both scans first time round and hopefully he will make the second scan too next week

mrsmugoo Fri 28-Feb-14 08:59:58

DH has come to booking, scans, my 36 week MW appt and my one consultant appt. basically everything that wasn't just routine urine/bp etc...

Slh122 Fri 28-Feb-14 09:03:16

DP came to my 12 week and 20 week scans and my booking in appointment.
There was no need for him to come to any of my midwife appointments - it's usually a quick 15 minute job. BP, wee dipped, heartbeat listened to.
I had extra scans and the only one he came to was the presentation scan to see if baby was breach (he wasn't)
I had extra scans as a result of reduced movement and a growth scan and he never came to any of those. There was no need, they were quick 10 min scans to see if baby was okay.

All the scans (had a few extra due to IVF) and he will be coming to the NCT classes we have booked but not the parent craft ones as they are in the middle of the day, and no midwife visits or any other appointments I have had.
His work are really difficult about him having time off in general. He also has diabetes so ends up with needing various appointments for that which they make a big fuss about so we had to decide which were most important which were his diabetes check ups and eye tests, and seeing our baby was ok and looked healthy.
Anything else wasn't important in comparison

Martorana Fri 28-Feb-14 09:16:18

Any that he could. But we decided it was better for him to hoard annual leave for after the Babis were born.

ZenNudist Fri 28-Feb-14 09:21:07

Both pregnancies dh came to 12 and 20 week scans plus a couple of blood tests as I faint so wanted him there.

Mw apts and other hospital visits I went to alone as it's completely unnecessary to have him there.

Did one hospital tour but next pg I went to different hospital & he stayed in car as ds was asleep. Felt like stoic second time mum being there alone with all the couples on first dc.

First dc we did nct antenatal classes together. It's very much a couples activity. I think if he attends anything that would be most useful for him (nhs ones too) as its good for dads to prepare for labour. You aren't doing it alone!

poopooheadwillyfatface Fri 28-Feb-14 09:25:09

DH came to the anomaly scan and the birth.
We were both happy with that.
The rest is pretty dull for me, no need for both to attend unless you really want IMHO. I went to the nhs antenatal class on my own for the first one. It was pretty dire.

Mummytobe2014 Fri 28-Feb-14 09:29:37

My dp came to the early 8 week scan which confirmed dates, hd cldnt make the 12 week due to work commitments so took my mum who was thrilled :-) he came to the 20 & 28 week scan and thats all. I went to consultants and mw appts alone, i spend more time waiting around than anything else so we didnt see the need to have him there but we wld always chat over phone after or as he now works nights we wld discuss when he woke up.
We cldnt make antenatal classes but he wld have come with me to them.
I watch OBEM but he doesnt cope too well with the blood or baby head crowning scenes lol he is a bit squeemish but generally he will watch with me. smile

weebairn Fri 28-Feb-14 09:30:49

1st preg he came to booking appt (which was pointless) and the scans, and also the first appointment with the new midwives (I changed surgery half way through pregnancy). This time round he'll just come to the scans, I think. Though he was always jealous of me getting to hear the heartbeat.

We did the NHS antenatal class together too.

livenlet Fri 28-Feb-14 09:31:07

My partner came to 3 scans , a consultants appointment and just made the birth of our first child. He only came for 2 scans with the second I had my mum at the birth this time much more helpful

livingzuid Fri 28-Feb-14 09:35:11

grin at OBEM dh point blank refuses to watch that. So do I for that matter. The whole birth part is a blank in my brain, I'm just focusing on having a bump then having a baby in my arms. The whole labour part is going to magically just happen!

He was a bit waily about having to come to pregnancy yoga but then got it when I explained about having to breathe etc. He thought he would have to join me in poses and stuff. We aren't doing antenatal classes, I know the basics and when it was listed what they did I couldn't see much point (don't live in the UK).

Banana82 Fri 28-Feb-14 09:45:41

My partner came to my 2 NHS scans and the 2 private scans we had. He was at the midwife appt I had straight after my 12 week scan to discuss my blood results etc. As others have said, he doesn't come to my routine midwife appts.

SweetPea86 Fri 28-Feb-14 09:46:55

DH came to two scans so far 33 weeks now. He couldn't come to midwife app due to being at work, but I know if I wanted him there he would come smile

FrankelInFoal Fri 28-Feb-14 09:58:55

My DH has been to all scans (7wk, 12wk & 20wk) plus 2 midwife appointments, because he happened to be on annual leave when they fell. He's also been to two classes (1 3hr class on birthing and another on baby care), but didn't come to my weekly antenatal class as they were for pregnant women only.

It's worth bearing in mind that the midwives do like to see you on your own as they have to ask you about "how things are at home", aka "is your partner being abusive towards you?" It's routine in my area to ask the question at each appointment, but I don't know about others.

Rosieliveson Fri 28-Feb-14 10:03:28

My DH came to 2 scans, I had 3 as my 12 week needed a second look.

He also came to my final midwife appointment where we discussed what would happen if I were to need inducing.

Most other appointments were so quick - blood pressure, any concerns etc that it wouldn't have seemed worth my husband taking the time out of work.

I didn't do antenatal but he would have attended those.

Congratulations grin

curiousgeorgie Fri 28-Feb-14 10:08:29

I had several scans above the two as I had GD and he attended the 12 & 20 week scans and one at 36 where we saw the consultant afterwards...

With DD2 he came to the 12 week scan and also an 8 week scan I had due to bleeding. I went to most of the other appointments by myself as he was really busy with a new job.

Most midwife appointments etc are a lot of waiting and then nothing exciting once you're in there!

NickyEds Fri 28-Feb-14 11:10:25

My OH went to the scans only(2 regular and 2 extra) but not the MW appointments- there didn't seem to be any point in taking the day off and I was fine with that. He didn't come to the Glucose Tolerance Test and if we have another I'll make him come to that- after no food it took the midwife ages to get blood out of me and I felt dizzy!!! We did a MW led 2 hour antenatal class together.

eurochick Fri 28-Feb-14 11:52:52

My husband has come to all scans so far and I'd expect that to continue. He hasn't come to any mw appointments though, and I am fine with that.

prettyinpink90 Fri 28-Feb-14 12:28:05

My DP has been to all of our scans... 8 weeks (private), 12 weeks, 20 weeks and 27 weeks (private).
We agreed that he didn't need to attend my midwife appointments as it's hard for him to get the time off work and i'm fine with that as they only usually take 10 minutes.
He has also attended all of our NCT antenatal classes so far and has actually shown lots of interest in them. I would feel completely out of place to be honest if he didn't attend as the other 7 ladies attend with their partners.

NerdyBird Fri 28-Feb-14 12:46:33

My DP has been to 12 week scan and will come to next one. He also came to the two early scans and two other assessment appointments when I had problems with bleeding.
He's not been to MW or GP appts. I see a consultant as I have ulcerative colitis and he doesn't need to come to those.

He is doing NCT with me though. I think he'd rather not but I've insisted. It's my first child but he's got two already. I don't see why I should do it alone just because he's already done it, after all he's never going to be the one giving birth!

I have a GTT in a few weeks and I'm hoping he'll drive me to that even if he doesn't stay as I don't fancy driving myself or faffing on the bus after fasting! I'll be fine after.

Windywinston Fri 28-Feb-14 13:34:04

Same here, DH came to both main scans, all other appointments including growth scans I went on my own as he was at work. We did do NCT classes the first time round and DH wasn't keen at first, but encouraged friends to do them afterwards!

The dads soon develop a kind of camaraderie and they get as much out of it as the mums do, maybe even more, because once you're in labour primal instinct will take over to some degree for you, but he'll have to rely on what he has learned to get him through and be the best birth partner he can be for you. Labour is not a time for experiencing nasty surprises - it's best for both of you to be informed so it can be a calm and wonderful experience for all of you. Good luck!

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