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Worries :(

(10 Posts)
sjs152 Wed 26-Feb-14 10:32:50

I realise that there are far bigger things that other people are suffering with and how lucky I am but I am worrying about everything at the moment. I am 11 weeks pregnant and although it was planned it happened a lot quicker than we expecting it too. I already have a 5 year old and we live in a one bedroom flat so are already pretty squashed, we are just about to put our flat on the market as we finally have got enough for a house deposit (hopefully) but still need to sort out our new mortgage. I am worrying about whether we will get another mortgage, whether we will find a house (house prices are rocketing here, which is good as it means we are no longer in negative equity but we need to find a house), and stupidedly I am terrified of telling my parents (I am 32 for goodness sakes) as I am sure they will think we have been very stupid getting pregnant before we moved. Add to that the normal worries about my 12 week scan next week and how our PFB son will react to new baby I feel down and scared. Thank you for reading all this (if you have)

bakingtins Wed 26-Feb-14 10:38:26

Add a few hormones into the mix and it's hardly surprising you are anxious. You'll be fine, it will all work itself out. Grandparents and your son will be delighted!

Rockchick1984 Wed 26-Feb-14 10:52:14

Congratulations! Go to your bank or whichever mortgage lender you plan on using and ask them to do you an agreement in principle - it'll fully credit score you, for the maximum amount you want to borrow, but is free of charge and you don't need to have found a property. It will last for 3-6 months depending on the lender, and just gives you the peace of mind that the mortgage will be approved when you find a house!

Would suggest not mentioning the pregnancy, as some lenders get funny when maternity leave is mentioned smile

inmybelly Wed 26-Feb-14 10:58:28

I'm in a similar situation in that both our parents like things to be done in the 'correct' order: ie, be together for a whole, get married, get mortgage, save money, have babies.

We've been together for a year, I already have a mortgage but on a place we aren't living in. We're not married, we don't have savings... And I'm pregnant! (Well, pregnant ATM anyway, it's early days).

Like you, I'm old enough (33!!) to know what's right for me and this baby was planned! But I still feel a bit guilty for not having done things in the perfect fairytale order my parents would have preferred. But they'll have to get used to it...!

Needless to say, I'm not telling them till the 12 week scan. At the moment I'm a bit worried I've miscarried and the last thing I need is to hear them say "maybe it was for the best"... Which is what I think they'd be thinking.

It's ridiculous really! We both are very sensible, have highly paid jobs, and this is what we want... But I guess you never stop wanting to make your parents proud of you.

inmybelly Wed 26-Feb-14 11:01:17

Oh, and my BF is applying for a mortgage today! We figured it might be better now than when we have a 'dependant' to add to our list outgoings for the broker!!

sjs152 Wed 26-Feb-14 11:39:32

Thank you, I am ok bumbling along happily for a while then suddenly I just feel overwhelmed by everything! We will hopefully be seeing the bank this weekend so then things can really get moving. I will have to tell my parents next week I think after my 12 week scan, hopefully it will be one of those things that is lots of worry but when it actually happens it all go ok.

peeapod Wed 26-Feb-14 11:56:01

We did it totally backwards. We started with the Baby (just after getting married..) then managed to get a house.. and now we have one income coming in.. No-one has said anything to us. It all worked out in the end..

ksrwr Wed 26-Feb-14 13:28:06

i think that planning to move somewhere bigger makes you look really responsible and really organised, like its all in the plan.

ohthegoats Wed 26-Feb-14 18:22:06

We are unmarried (and won't ever get married, just not interested), and have just moved into a new house that requires LOADS of work (extension etc, will be building site for the next 8 months), I'm 40, I've just been promoted, BF has a job on temporary contract.


What ksrwr said. And also, you can't hang on waiting for the time to be right for children, as far as I can tell from what everyone says, the time is NEVER right. Just go with the flow.

sjs152 Wed 26-Feb-14 20:38:29

Thank you everyone.

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