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Feeling really unprepared!!

(14 Posts)
MissCalamity Wed 26-Feb-14 09:09:36

Hi all

I'm currently 31+4 with DC2 and although I have my maternity leave start date in place (4 weeks on Friday!), baby's bedroom sorted, labour bag 70% packed - I feel really mentally unprepared for baby.

My DP asked me the other night if I was fed up with being pregnant and although I am tired and my hips hurt - it's not been that bad. I don't know if it's because I know this will more than likely be my last pregnancy so I'm trying to "make the most of it"

I had a fairly straight forward labour with DS, so I'm not (completely) freaking out about that. My family and friends are all close by so it's not like I'll be on my own with a newborn and toddler.

Just can't out my finger on why I'm feeling like this....anyone else?

ithoughtofitfirst Wed 26-Feb-14 10:00:56

I am absolutely bricking it about DC number 2 and i'm only 7 weeks!

The only thing that's helping me is knowing that, if it's really tough, i will just take it one day at a time. I think having one on the way makes you worry about allsorts and forces you to think into the future. Which is good in one way cause you can prepare all the practical stuff as you've done but i think it can be bad for general zen and anticipation.

Another thing i do is try and visualise all the nice things like giving them a bath and making them wear silly outfits mwahaha

Write everything down too and sort of plan stuff like what will i do in such and such a scenario. And see if seeing it written down in front of you eases the worry a bit.

Hope any of that was helpful!

dats Wed 26-Feb-14 10:28:49

If it helps: I'm 32+1 with #1 and I am clueless. I haven't bought a thing, never changed a nappy and I'm the ripe old age of 41. But we have finished the decorating and I've begun a list, so that's a start, right? confused

Seriously though...even if you've started to organise the practical stuff and it's not the first time you've done it, it's still the first time you've had THIS baby. There's still elements of the unknown - and your family is going to be a different shape - so things will be different. Maybe it's because you know more about what to expect, rather than my blissful ignorancedenial that's making you feel unsettled?

Just keep on with the practical stuff, because at least once all that's sorted, it will free up space in your head to process the other stuff.

ithoughtofitfirst I like the idea of silly outfits grin

buffythebarbieslayer Wed 26-Feb-14 11:59:05

Pregnant with dc3 and swing from excitement to fear frequently!

33weeks now but still feel I have loads to do.

Cacraig2 Wed 26-Feb-14 12:17:27

I am 38+6 with dc2 and know what you mean I am prepared like you bag, nursery etc. but emotionally feel I have forgotten everything and unprepared. Got used to older child and not sure I remember what to do with baby hoping will come back quickly!! Like you will be last so want to enjoy it and be more relaxed about everything. X

MummyLuce Wed 26-Feb-14 13:22:37

I feel the same!!!! 35 with dc2 . Cant really beleive I'm having an actual baby. Not mentally prepared and got nothing ready.... It will come and all will be fine I guess!

MissCalamity Wed 26-Feb-14 14:26:15

I'm sure once I'm on maternity leave I should start feeling more prepared; it is almost like I feel like I have to get x, y and z done and then move onto the next thing whilst still working and looking after DS.

Also as it was over 4 years ago I had DS, I feel like I'll be going right back to the start - don't think I've handled that many babies after DS so that in it's self will be strange!

Glad to see I'm not alone! grin

ithoughtofitfirst Wed 26-Feb-14 15:19:07

I held a 3 week old a couple weeks ago and at first i was all aaaah how cute... then i thought ergh what a nightmare oh god at least i can give her back... oh wait i'm doing this later this year. F**k.

It didn't help that the mother had that kind of dead- behind-the-eyes thousand mile stare that shocked, first time mothers get.

But she was very cute tbf.

Strokethefurrywall Wed 26-Feb-14 15:39:36

I'm coming up 36 weeks. Woefully unprepared for this one, he'll be sleeping in a drawer at this rate.

Working right up until he arrives - have just about packed his bag, mine hasn't even been considered. Only bought a pack of nappies last week.

I sway between thinking "holy fuck balls I'm having another baby in a few weeks" and completely and utter denial.

Inglori0us Wed 26-Feb-14 16:05:22

Starting to get The Fear. I'm 32+3 with dc2. Packed a hospital bag and an overnight bag for dd today.
Nursery not done. Dd is in it and there's no room for another one in there. Only other room is my office and I'm still working for another 4 weeks at least (I'm freelance). Baby will need to bunk in with us for the foreseeable.
I've had a bleak pregnancy so I can't wait for it to be over but I can't actually imagine what having a newborn will be like alongside my toddler.
All try baby clothes look far too small!
I did browse Tesco Wines website earlier though, which was nice.
Can't wait to get out of my crappy maternity clothes too.

I think we all just need to wing it.
My life motto is I'm Sure It'll All Be Fine.

weeblueberry Wed 26-Feb-14 16:13:07

I had absolutely no idea what I was doing when I was pregnant with DD. I'd never held a baby, changed a nappy or had less than 8 hours sleep my entire life. I was completely and utterly unprepared. I'd done an NCT class, scoped out Mumsnet for months and spoken to everyone who'd ever spewed a baby out their vagina. I still didn't feel like I knew what was going to happen.

And you know what? I didn't. And it was fine. I'm not going to lie, no amazing miracle mummy power kicked in, it took me a while to learn how to do certain things and I still don't feel too 'mummylike' 9 months later but we're doing it. Every day is different but amazing.

RaRa1988 Wed 26-Feb-14 16:53:02

Some clever person on here told me a while ago that babies are new to the world and don't know any better, and that my way will be the right way in my baby's eyes because it's all she knows. I've felt a lot better since then.

Cacraig2 Wed 26-Feb-14 19:39:31

rara1988 not sure my dd1 is brand new she is now 3yo and I swear she has been here before and continues to keep us right ;-)

LJBanana Wed 26-Feb-14 19:47:08

If it helps im 38 weeks with no 3 and only remembered the other day that you had to take a bag into hospital- with actual stuff in it!!!!
20 minutes in Sainsburys in between other kids Saturday dance lessons sorted it out!
You are not alone, I think the child within is more prepared than I!!

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