I know im probably being selfish because i already have 2 wonderful children and my youngest is still only 4 months old but i really want another baby in the near future but cant have one.
Ive always wanted a large family but when i got pregnant the first time i had a mc got pregnant shortly afterwards and had an awful pregnancy ended up in renal failure with a massive post partum haemmorage too. Ended up on a critical care unit. My baby was fine though.
Tried to get pregnant again had a late miscarriage due to cervival injury due to first delivery.
Got pregnant again after this got hyperemesis again, and had cervical stitch at 13 weeks. I had to go on bed rest until 28 weeks pregnant. Work were awful about it and i couldnt hold or play with my dc properly for 4months.
Had dc2 by c section due to problems with first delivery and had another maddive bleed which was actually more serious than the first. Ended up in theatre revovery for 24hours having 1 to 1 care.
I was.disgnosed shortly afterwards with von willebrands disease.
My dh and i discussed that we shouldnt have another baby due to how seriously ill i was in theatre, the fact i have von willebrands, natural delivery isnt an option for me due to birth injuries and i will need another cervical stitch which will mean work being angry again and me trying to juggle bed rest with dc.
I know when i write this i know it makes sense not to have another and that im risking my dc not having a mum if i have another bad bleed but im desperate for another baby. I think i just need someone to slap me and tell me im being an idiot so feel free
Enjoy your babies now! Plenty of time to talk through this issue when the baby is a bit or a lot older. You may feel then that 2 is enough, but you need to be in a place where you can think it through calmly and not emotionally. I don't think you're there at the moment. (Having a 4 month old baby is hard work!). It's probably all the discussions of 'no more' which have set this off, but I would say just put the decision on hold so you can really enjoy THIS baby.
I can totally empathise. I have only just had DC3. I always wanted a big family, but this time round had a uterine rupture, fortunately shortly before they gave me a section, so they got her out before my waters broke, otherwise it could have been a very different outcome. I know deep down it would be unwise to have any more children, and I adore the children I have but it doesn't stop me feeling sad that this is my last. Hormones do complicate matters, but please take care of yourself. You need to put your wellbeing and that of your children first.
Thanks everyone my dh keeps saying hes going to see gp about getting the snip but hasnt so far i think thats making me panic a bit too because i feel like the option is being taken away from me even though i know its stupid to want another.