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advise please???

(15 Posts)
EllaJayne123 Fri 21-Feb-14 20:29:59

Hello.... Am in need of some advise! I am currently 16 weeks pg and I feel completely fed up of my partner. He is the nicest man ive ever met and I love him deeply but since I've become pregnant I feel he is completely uninterested in me and the baby. The baby was completely unplanned and unexpected and when he first found out his first reaction was have an abortion or I'm leaving you. He has since got over this and I thought we were getting back on track however recently I feel completely isolated in the situation. He left me alone in the hospital as he thougt I was being rude to him, he walked out on me in a baby shop saying it was stupid to be in there and he is making me feel like crap about money. He is saving to go to America when I will be 7-8 months pg for 3 weeks with his friend. I have accepted this as was planned before I found out we were pregnant however the money situation is starting to strain our relationship. He won't move in with me until he's saved enough for America, he won't take me out or buy me anything as he is saving for America and he won't buy or save for the baby. He also says it's my job to buy the baby things as he will be the one providing for me and bubba when I'm on ML and he's working. I know this is true and appreciate he will be financially support us but feel crap at the fact he's implying he will be earning all the money and I know he will see it as HIS money not ours. He is also making comments about the pregnancy like 'oh your gunna be really fat' and 'you should exercise so your not too fat' and also about how it's gunna affect our sex life ect... He is lovely when he wants to be and I do love him I just don't know what to do anymore? When I mention anything my response is 'oh it's just your hormones' so opinions/advise are needed please!

longleggedlady Fri 21-Feb-14 22:02:11

His attitude makes him sound like a complete prick. Sorry but he needs to grow a pair. You need to tell him that. X

Hewhodares Fri 21-Feb-14 22:05:51

Seriously? You need to look after yourself and your precious baby and if that means taking some time out of the relationship - then do it!

Mummytobe2014 Fri 21-Feb-14 22:10:21

Agree with longleggedlady his attitude stinks. he doesnt sound on board to me. If he feels its his money etc how can u be a family unit?

KiwiBanana Fri 21-Feb-14 22:27:29

Honestly? He doesn't sound nice at all, in fact he sounds like a total knobhead.

I don't know what to advise though sad maybe post this in the relationship section? I've personally had some excellent advice from some of the women there. Sometimes it just helps to talk it out.

HelenHen Fri 21-Feb-14 22:41:48

He sounds horrible from what you've said sad

Can you tell us why you ARE with him? Not being sarcastic but just wondering if he has any good points! Only being able to go on what you've said, I'd leave him right now! Is it the support you're worried about?

LittleBearPad Fri 21-Feb-14 22:46:08

He doesn't sound lovely. He sounds horrible. How old us he?

Jolleigh Fri 21-Feb-14 23:33:00

Wow. IMHO you should have just told him to leave when he gave you the abortion ultimatum. What a twat!

Why are you with him? It's hard to go it alone but it might be harder to do it with a prick like that at your side.

Evie2014 Sat 22-Feb-14 05:34:54

Definitely post over on the relationships board. You will get lots of help there.

EllaJayne123 Sat 22-Feb-14 08:20:27

Thanks ladies have posted it over on relationships smile

EllaJayne123 Sat 22-Feb-14 08:22:55

And he is nice when he wants to be but he's 22 still has the mind of a 14 year old though clearly! Don't want to end up on my own but also don't want to lose him!

Aoifebelle Sat 22-Feb-14 11:18:45

Hi Ellayou have to do whats best for you and you bubs. Suppose you have to ask yourself, do you really need to be looking after two children? He may be young, but to be honest he sounds like a total arse. You may have to weigh up very carefully what he provides you with, both emotially and practically with what he takes. If the equation doesn't stack up you may have to consider if you have a healthy future together.

Mim78 Sat 22-Feb-14 15:11:04

Sounds like he is not on board and you would be better off without him.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 23-Feb-14 16:52:08

I agree, he sounds far from lovely. You both created this baby, you are both responsible for it.

SweetPea86 Sun 23-Feb-14 18:08:23

My friend is in a similar situation does he forget it takes two to make a baby.

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