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Pregnant and newly broken up from long term partner - have faith or move on?

(7 Posts)
excitedmummytobe Sun 16-Feb-14 19:30:29

Hi, Im new to mumsnet and I am 5weeks pregnant yay! grin after 8 long months of trying with my partner we broke up an hour before i took the positive test! (also valentines daysad) we are very in love and very compatible but I realised he cannot take the blame for anything and minimises my feelings (immature) which caused us to argue alot. I decided it would be best if we broke up because all the stress would not be good for the baby and he agreed. I have no doubt he will be an amazing dad regardless of the outcome of the relationship. its all been very amicable.

Deep down (he said this himself too) we both want the same thing. To take the time to resolve our issues individually and hopefully make it work, together down the line. We are 20 and 23, so my question is: Is it naieve to have faith that its possible that we could have our happy ending or should i just resign myself to the heartbreaking thought that we just dont work and move on?

EirikurNoromaour Sun 16-Feb-14 19:31:58

How long have you been together? What makes you so sure he will be an amazing dad if he's that immature?

vj32 Sun 16-Feb-14 19:41:42

20 is very young to be a parent unless you are a very mature person anyway. Pregnancy is very stressful and can strain a relationship, especially if you have any sort of complications. You could breeze through pregnancy or you could end up almost permanently sick, uncomfortable, tired and irritable.

On the positive side - I know someone who had her first child quite young, 18 or 19, broke up with her partner but then they got back together a few years later when they had both grown up a lot. They are still together over ten years later and now have another child. So it can happen.

excitedmummytobe Sun 16-Feb-14 19:43:08

we were together a year and a half lived together for a year. I know hed be great because i know him so well. he is very responsible in other areas. Hes had the same 12-14hr a day job for 3 years and has worked his way up to near the top of the company and takes commitments to his family very seriously. I trust in him, he is not one of those men who will leave completely. If anything I probably wouldnt be able to get rid of him lol

excitedmummytobe Sun 16-Feb-14 19:45:56

Thanks vj32, I would normally completely agree that 20 is too young however as a mature young lady who has had her own home since 16 and not wasted my life on alcohol partying and the such. i feel im a couple years ahead of my time smile

TestingTestingWonTooFree Mon 17-Feb-14 08:11:39

I don't think you need to think about it too much. Focus on your baby. Wait and see what happens with the father of the baby. If you mean should you move on by actively seeking another partner, I'd say no, not now.

excitedmummytobe Mon 17-Feb-14 12:55:16

thanks for the advice. we have already agreed not to so much as look at someone else till we know whats going on here. to be fair neither of us would anyway i just needed the reassurance! I have real faith that we can work on ourselvea individually and come back together, stronger. heres hoping faith determination and love and enough to give our child the home we planned. grin

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