My dh is crap at talking about my preparation for labour? Anyone else in the same boat?

[mameulah]

Last time I had a horrible time. No one believed I was in labour until our ds had practically popped out. Won't bore you with the details but it really affected me. Not in a good way.

This time, after trying to discuss it he says that I should be grateful for what I got at the end of it all. Of course I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And what was he supposed to have done? I pointed out that he should have spoken up for me and that is what I want him to do this time. I think he has panicked at that idea. He has become cross and hostile.

Anyone else? Or does everyone else have a dh who wants to talk about their feelings?

tia

[icklekid]

He probably feels guilty that it didn't go to pkan last time and although he has admitted that he doesn't know what else he could have done thinking about it this time is probably hard. Can you find a way to discuss together if this...then we can do.... that way your discussing together rather than him being told? Might also be worth going out for an walk/lunch if possible- my dh is much better at talking when not sat at home!

[mameulah]

The walk thing is a good idea. Thank you!

[BikeRunSki]

My DH is rubbish at talking about his feelings, but really stepped up when both my labours went pear shaped.

[Jess03]

My dh doesn't want to talk about it either, dc1 was pretty traumatic but ok in the end, when I try and talk about what I'm scared of he doesn't want to hear it as he has no control over it, which I understand. Sometimes female friends can be more useful. I'm thinking about a doula this time so they can prompt dh if he panics.