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Pregnant - not told husband yet

(14 Posts)
lollypop101 Sat 15-Feb-14 08:36:04

I've just found out I am pregnant with my 3rd and feel at the moment it is best not to tell my husband. He has a really big meeting in a months time which could be financially life changing for us and something he's worked hard to achieve over past 3 years but with only 4 weeks to go till meeting, I feel that if I tell him about this he will stress even more. Worrying that if it doesn't come off he'll have to provide for another child etc. This clearly wasn't planned pregnancy but after multiple mcs before my first I feel blessed.

I never keep anything from him so it feels really odd keeping it to myself and wonder if not telling him will make him upset, yet don't want to give him undue stress either before biggest moment in his working career.


Wishfulmakeupping Sat 15-Feb-14 08:39:01

That's a long time to keep it to yourself. How far gone are you?
A month is enough time for him to take it all in I think if you told him now that would be better than bottling it up and telling him later closer to the meeting.
Do you really think the news will stress him out?

Stockhausen Sat 15-Feb-14 08:39:57

Do you think you can keep quiet for a month? How will you explain the dates? Perhaps him knowing, would motivate him more to do well at work? Its a very big secret & im assuming he had equal part in creating a pregnancy with regards contraception?

livingzuid Sat 15-Feb-14 08:42:32

Would he be more upset if you didn't tell him? It may have the opposite effect you think - finding out we were expecting galvanised my dh into studying even harder and gave him new motivation. I think that's a long time to keep it to you particularly if you have a history of mcs and might be a bit stressed smile he's there to support you too no matter what is going on at work! "

theborrower Sat 15-Feb-14 08:49:59

I can't imagine keeping something so important from my husband either. A month is a long time to go unsupported if you're not well or have any problems, and besides, wouldn't he twig when you're not feeling well etc?

As another poster said, the news might encourage him in advance of the meeting, but you are both equal partners in supporting another child, are you not?

lollypop101 Sat 15-Feb-14 08:58:16

Thanks everyone. It is his own business so it isn't just work and it is out of his hands as has to have council approval etc so it's the big one. I don't think I could keep quiet that long if I got sick but that usually, luckily isn't a problem for me.

He didn't want another too but I know that if I told him he would be really supportive about it, just not great timing.

Tranquilitybaby Sat 15-Feb-14 09:01:24

I would tell him, you're a couple and you'll never keep it to yourself fir that long xxx

ImBrian Sat 15-Feb-14 09:56:16

I found out this morning and im not telling my dp for a few weeks. Hes a massive stress head and is starting a new job in 2 weeks where he'll be away for a fortnight.

KitKat1985 Sat 15-Feb-14 11:54:19

I'd tell him. But then me and DH have a very open relationship with each other. Can't imagine to be honest keeping something that important from him for a month. If he's got a few weeks before this meeting then he does have some time to get his head around things before the meeting date. Good luck.

HelenHen Sat 15-Feb-14 14:52:51

I'd tell him! What if he messes up this meeting and then you tell him but he reckons he would have done better if he'd known? At least this way he's s few weeks to get his head around it. Tell him but maybe don't worry him with any sickness or hormones you may have (within reason obviously). Support eachother!

penguinplease Sat 15-Feb-14 14:59:29

Don't tell him. Going against the masses here but had similar myself, never regretted keeping it to myself, in my situation it was 6 weeks or so.
When I did tell I was honest about the dates and how long I'd known and why I did it. It all came good in the end.

lollypop101 Sun 16-Feb-14 02:02:52

The ladies that didn't tell, were they really cross?

squizita Sun 16-Feb-14 10:48:21

I would tell him, especially with your history of mc. It could take an enormous toll on you emotionally! And he would be none the wiser.

squizita Sun 16-Feb-14 10:49:34

To clarify ... Even when things are going well, we recurrent mc-ers get bad days with wobbles/panics.

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