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Recent cot death in the family and now I am pregnant....

(4 Posts)
beansprout Tue 09-Mar-04 16:46:37

My sister in law lost her 17 day old daughter last week. The whole family is in pieces. I am 10 weeks but we haven't told anyone yet and now feel we can't/don't want to. The last thing we want to do is anything that could add to her grief and yet it feels like this would. Has anyone else dealt with similar, very difficult circumstances?

sobernow Tue 09-Mar-04 17:30:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lydialemon Tue 09-Mar-04 17:35:51

Sorry I can't offer any constructive advice, but {{hugs{}}} to you and your SIL.

I would hold off for a couple of weeks, and then maybe test the water by speaking to your mum/MIL first? I think you should let them know though, rather than let them find out 2nd hand. Do you see them on a regular basis?

Sorry again


highlander Tue 09-Mar-04 17:45:54

God, I'm sorry. This obviously should be a happy time for you. So, congratulations

We've had a SLIGHTLY similiar situation between 2 close friends at work. Ms A gets preggers (unplanned). Ms B has had 5 or 6 late miscarriages, but very open about it. Ms A is terrified to tell Ms B for fear of upsetting her. Finally tells her after 4 months. Lots of happy tears and Ms B turns out to be an absolute rock, protecting Ms A from scary preggers/birth stories at work!

I know it's not the same, losing such a tiny baby is just too awful to think about, but maybe she'd prefer you to dig deep and find the courage to tell her directly, rather than to hear about it through the grapevine.

Sorry, big hugs. I hope none of this offends you.

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