Third trimester stress

[bubblegumgirl]

Hi everyone, I've had a bit of a stressful pregnancy. The first 6 months I was renovating our house which was great but stressful.

Then I really thought that I could concentrate on relaxing and a bit of "me time" in the third trimester, HOWEVER, my mum has just been diagnosed with a serious illness and I am really upset about that. Plus I am running about trying to make sure that she has the right food (she's on a pretty restricted diet) and trying to get my other family members to engage with the situation so we can look for second opinions and support groups. Unfortunately, it feels like I'm banging my head on a brick wall - everybody is just being a proverbial ostrich and ignoring the problem!

It's incrediby upsetting to think of losing my mum just at the time when I'm about to be a mum for the first time. I really feel stressed and upset and even though my husband is really supportive, his focus is all about the baby. I understand that, and I really am trying to stay calm but sometimes the upset just overwhelms me and I start crying spontaneously.

Then I feel guilt because I keep reading that high levels of stress in the third trimester can affect children for many years to come and lead to all sorts of behavioural and developmental issues and then I cry again about already being such a shit mother to this poor baby and it's not even born!

None of my close friends have kids and I just needed to vent a bit, because I don't think that people understand how hard it is being heavily pregnant, running around cooking and cleaning and dealing with emotional upset.

Feeling a bit down ... any words of wisdom gratefully received ...

[PiratesMam]

What a hard situation! It is difficult enough being pregnant, without any extra stress. However, hopefully I can reassure you regarding stress levels in third trimester - my dad died when I was 39 weeks pregnant with my first: I was at his funeral on my due date. DS was born a week and a half later and is now a very happy, thoughtful and kind 4 yr old. Looking back I wasted a lot of time worrying about the effect of the stress in pregnancy; as long as you look after yourself with a good diet then that's the best you can do for baby.

Your mum must be so happy about your pregnancy so concentrate on the joy that is bringing her

[bubblegumgirl]

Thank you, needed a bit of reassurance and so sorry to hear about your dad. That must have been incredibly hard. Feeling a bit better today anyway, but thanks for the response .. :-)