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Scared of Pregnancy and vaginismus, please help

(6 Posts)
Alexs95 Wed 12-Feb-14 23:15:01

Hi there

I'm 18 and I've been struggling with vaginismus I finally was able to have sex (very painfully) and have done a few times since but it seems that every time myself and partner try again it's like going back to square 1

Anyway, one time we we decided to just try it without thinking about getting protection (I know it was silly) but we thought that without stopping to get it or whatever to just see if it would be better... And it was better, we did make sure he just pulled out as I am scared of being pregnant and I really would not be ready.

Anyway I'm due to get a test done as since then I have been showing signs and symptoms (think it maybe due to him possible precum) but I am scared and have a phobia of something growing inside me :/. And with my problem how am I able to give birth because I can't even have sex properly yet.

I'm scared of giving birth, the thought of a baby moving around inside freaks me out aswell. I want kids but never wanted to have inside me.

I just basically need some advice on how vaginismus effects child birth and how my phobia of a living thing growing in me can be solved?


slightlyinsane Wed 12-Feb-14 23:22:55

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Try not to panic just yet as you don't know for certain one way or another.

You will find a lot of mums are not a fan of having something growing inside and the wriggling and kicking is not in my top 10 of things I enjoy.
As for your other issue, going through labour cured mine. Once I'd healed and actually felt like sex again it was pain free. I'm not saying it's the same for everyone but just wanted you to know there are happy endings.

AtrociousCircumstance Wed 12-Feb-14 23:58:43

You've done brilliantly to get so far - and sex without protection is much easier (unfortunately!) So the first thing to do is to recognise how much progress you have made, and that further progress is possible.

Don't worry about the pregnancy issues until you find out whether or not you're pg. I was freaked out by the idea of pregnancy too, and so so panicked and alarmed and woozy when I first learnt I was pg. But I got used to it pretty quickly. Which surprised me!

You are on a journey and have made loads of progress already, at a young age.

Maybe you and your partner could get full sexual health checks and then you could go on the pill? And just continue to take things slowly.

You'll be fine. Just allow yourself time for each step you take and be kind to yourself.

AtrociousCircumstance Thu 13-Feb-14 00:02:40

Ps vaginismus won't affect your ability to give birth. Your body takes over during childbirth in a very specific way. It will affect how you feel about it but it won't hinder your body's ability to do it.

itstooembarrassing Thu 13-Feb-14 14:11:27


I also have vaginismus but gave birth to my son without any issues. I still haven't been able to have sex so he (and this pregnancy) were conceived using a syringe. The important thing I found was to be upfront about it with the midwife. This meant I was referred to a Psychiatrist so I could talk through my fears before the birth, and referred to the consultant so I could have a test internal examination to make sure I could tolerate that. I then made it clear on my birth plan that internal examinations should be kept to a minimum. In terms of actually giving birth there were no problems with muscle spasms, or pain beyond normal labour. I guess coming from the other direction my body just did what it needed to do. I can't advise about your phobia, other than to say that if it turns out you are pregnancy just be honest. Tell your GP and/or midwife about your fears and phobia and you can then be referred to a Psychiatrist as I was who can then help you work through it.
Good luck.

Mim78 Thu 13-Feb-14 14:16:13

I was never diagnosed but I always felt I had a mild version of this. Giving birth actually cured it , or whatever it was I had, as another poster has said. So it might be a good thing if you are othrwise ready - or when you are otherwise ready and do eventually conceive.

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