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First time and can't stop worrying

(19 Posts)
Kels13 Mon 10-Feb-14 14:15:06

Is anyone else worrying about everything? I feel like I'm going mad! I've had a teeny bit of brown spotting, which I've been told is quite common by a doctor but I'm absolutely terrified. Hate having so little control. I'm trying to everything right - I even cancelled a massage I had booked at the weekend! I'm terrified of misscarrying sad Does it get easier as you get further on. I'm only 5 weeks xx

GuybrushThreepwoodMightyPirate Mon 10-Feb-14 14:25:41

Totally normal to worry! Especially at the very early stages when all you have to go on is two lines on a stick. Try not to worry too much though. Spotting is really normal and doesn't necessarily mean anything bad is happening. When I was pg with DD I had 4 days of bleeding at 4/5 weeks which led to no problems at all (reassuring I hope?)

WRT your massage, why cancel? Now is the best time to be relaxing and looking after yourself. If you're worried about the treatment just ask at the spa; they will know if there's anything about the treatment which makes it unsuitable for pregnant women and should be able to suggest an alteration or alternative if there is.

Pregnantberry Mon 10-Feb-14 14:47:14

Kels I am about to turn 9 weeks, and I have also been very scared of miscarriage!

For me it actually helped when I began to get morning/all day sickness. While I felt awful, it gave me something 'concrete' to focus on and I found it reassuring to read that a lot of doctors claim MS is a healthy sign in pregnancy.

One of the worst things I did was read up in great detail on all the things that could go wrong. If you start to bleed or feel any pain beyond what mild period pain would feel like then by all means get yourself to the doctor, but please don't torture yourself by obsessing over things that could go wrong on the internet like I did!

I am still worried about getting bad news, but I have my first midwife appointment tomorrow and I will be glad to have the ball rolling and have it feel more 'real'. I have to admit I felt a bit abandoned when my GP surgery said that no one would see me before 8 weeks unless I had any problems, because that seemed like an awful long time to wait at the time given that I had just received what was, to me, earth shattering news!


rosiegal Mon 10-Feb-14 17:47:37

I'm in a similar situation and so scared of something bad happening. I'm not 100% how far I am because since coming off the pill last September my cycle has been shocking, but I think about 5 weeks. I've been suffering from sickness on and off through the day for the last week which I think is a good sign. I wish I knew how to relax until the first scan

Kiterun Mon 10-Feb-14 22:38:00

I'm 5 weeks too and feel the same. After all the stats I've read about the odds of conceiving, then the rate of miscarriage etc - you'd have thought the human race was the most fragile thing ever. I think maybe I should stop reading these things as it's not helping at all.

I suppose all you can do is enjoy the fact you are pregnant today and try not to dwell on all the what-ifs. I was trying to conceive for a couple of years so I keep reminding myself how lucky I am and to cherish these days.


porcito Tue 11-Feb-14 17:25:18

Me too...I'm almost 7 weeks and worried about everything! I'm living abroad so everything is different here and they scan really early which is good. I've got one today and am so so nervous! I don't know how all the other pregnant women can be so calm! I can't focus on anything except if the baby is ok.

Binglesplodge Tue 11-Feb-14 17:37:29

Me too! I have cramps a bit like I'd normally get right before AF - part of me is reassured because I know that's a symptom now, but partly I'm still in fear when I go to the loo in case I've imagined the bfps and it's all over. Also the agonising boobs. I suppose it's reassuring but it's not fun...

Is it weird that I think I'll probably test once a week or so until I see the doctor just to be sure?!

Kels13 Tue 11-Feb-14 18:33:37

Hey ladies, thanks for your replies. I've been a total mess the last 24 hours. I had some heavier spotting yesterday afternoon. Have spoken to a midwife at the early testing unit and they said sounds like implantation spotting. I just don't think it is, I feel different. I feel like my bloating has gone and I don't feel nauseous anymore. Am hoping it's the worry that has taken over my symptoms. I'm almost 6 weeks so hoped they would scan me but they said they can't until next week. Feel so helpless sad

Kels13 Tue 11-Feb-14 18:35:06

PsBinglesplodge- I've done three in the last 24 hours - totally understand! Mine are all still positive thank God but I know that could be because some hormone is still in my system. ClearBlue are going to make a fortune out of me!

Binglesplodge Tue 11-Feb-14 18:57:05

Good luck, Kels - hope it all settles down for you. Xxxx

SweetPea86 Tue 11-Feb-14 22:33:53

I'm 31 weeks and I've worried my self sick throughout the whole pregnancy, been decorating baby's room today and I'm panicking thinking what if some goes wrong. I feel until he's here I can't enjoy it lol.

I really wish I wasn't this worried I'm making my self stressed all the time

But I guEss it just means we cherish and love our little baby's already smile I'm sure I will worry even more once he's born lol

Barbsta Wed 12-Feb-14 08:29:56

When eber I see myself starting to worry/panic I make a conscious effort to divert my thinking onto how I'm decorating the nursery or something like that. I was a wreck and I still am now and then but that technique works as simple as it is smile

Jess03 Wed 12-Feb-14 11:12:33

My dr for dd1 told me to remember that you are highly unlikely to be doing anything that can cause or prevent
mc, so it's best to try and distract yourself if you can. good luck Kels I hope it settles down. Conception, pregnancy, it's such a long waiting game.

bluebelle2662 Wed 12-Feb-14 11:58:00

I'm 20 weeks and I am still constantly on edge, so I can't promise it will get any better. Just try to do things to keep your mind off it. I hope you have a happy and healthy rest of pregnancy xxx

Writerwannabe83 Wed 12-Feb-14 12:14:17

Hi Kels - I had brown spotting at 7 weeks and 10 weeks and I also had a huge fresh bleed at 14 weeks, but baby was absolutely fine. Bleeding doesn't always have to mean the worst but I know how worrying it is. When I was spotting at 7 and 10 weeks I was given scans on both occasions - you can always ask for one if you need that reassurance? Or is paying for a private scan an option?

As the pregnancy goes on the worry never goes away - you just find different things to worry about!! I'm almost 34 weeks now and obsess over movements grin

Congratulations on your pregnancy x

Kels13 Wed 12-Feb-14 12:14:54

Thanks all. This morning I took another preg test and it said I was 3+ weeks since conception. Yesterdays was 2-3 weeks so I'm taking comfort that things are changing so hopefully all is ok. Have to wait a week for a scan, will be the longest week of my life for sure! X

22honey Wed 12-Feb-14 15:23:12

Its totally normal to worry, I just ignored and put it to the back of my mind I was pregnant when I found out due to a wait of about 4 weeks till my first scan, I didnt even want a scan tbh when it came round I was that much of a nervous wreck after a previous traumatic lost (tubal with twin in uterus)

I don't blame them for not offering early scans though as it is false reassurance, its quite common for eg. for a heartbeat to develop at 6 weeks when it does but for something else to go wrong at say 8-9 weeks. Many women who get a heartbeat seen at these points become not only attached but with false reassurance that now everything will be ok. Thats why the 12 week scan is seen as the 'milestone' scan because all the babys organs and limbs etc are now formed. There is still plenty that could go wrong before 12 weeks (dont let this worry you, I was beside myself and had a perfect 12 week scan, I also drank heavily at about 6-7 weeks as I didnt know I was pregnant and it was XMas/NYE)

the 1000s of posts online about women miscarrying etc dont do anyone any favours (I get particularly worried about late miscarriages as going by the net they are common when statistically they are rare as hens teeth!) as its very rare the poster explains their physical predicament, their age or anything else that could increase the risk technically. It gives the impression healthy women at the right age for childbearing are miscarrying at a late stage constantly.

Barely any women also give any thought to their DH's age. If he is over 40 you have a much higher chance of miscarrying/having a baby with genetic defects etc particularly if you yourself are of advanced maternal age (dont think it makes much of a difference if you are in your 20s and DP is 40+). This isn't well known and when reading about miscarriages etc the age of the DP and often even the woman is never mentioned (and it appears the poster doesnt give any thought to it either) which gives the impression these are all young healthy women miscarrying (which is unlikely), to me anyway.

Sunnyday14 Wed 12-Feb-14 18:59:43

It's kind of relieving that other people are also worrying about all these little things. I was having weird crampy feelings for a few weeks and it's now gone (I'm 6-7 weeks now) and I'm wondering what that means...and my boobs are hurting less than before (I should be pleased, I know!).
My DH keeps saying that I should assume everything's ok until we know otherwise and that worrying won't help either way, but easier said than done. And it's hard not to think about the baby when I feel constantly queasy...
Pregnantbelly, I also felt a bit abandoned by the Dr. She didn't confirm it in any way and said I should make a booking in apt for 2 weeks time. I don't know what I was expecting, a party or something probably!

Binglesplodge Wed 12-Feb-14 19:27:55

I've not had much in the way of symptoms today: the little cramps have been minimal, my boobs feel a bit more comfortable and my sense of smell has settled down after a hyperactive week or so. I should be grateful to be feeling ok but I'd rather be suffering with the whole list of symptoms so I know it's all still ok...

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