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falling out with people

(21 Posts)
HelenHen Sun 09-Feb-14 22:05:06

I'm normally pretty outspoken at the best of Times but I'm starting to wonder if I'm worse in pregnancy! A friend, who's very similar, and I had a stupid debate (so I thought) on Facebook and now she's gone and deleted me. I think she was being a bit unreasonable and offensive and I thought I was just debating back but now we're not friends anymore. I was one of her bridesmaids shock . It's upset me quite a bit that our friendship was so fickle and now I'm wondering if it's the hormones and maybe I was just being a bitch and it's actually all my fault! I don't really know what Im expecting anyone to say but just wanted to tell someone! blush

Cariad007 Sun 09-Feb-14 22:09:49

Depends what the crux of the debate was really...

HelenHen Mon 10-Feb-14 08:34:45

Oh I know! Well it's really silly of course and I feel like as teenager. A while back she became vegan and instantly started posting animal cruelty stuff and knocking the entire agricultural sector. I come from a farming community so defended it. I wasn't the only one by far. Then she started posting stuff by a celeb who I can't stand but she would add a comment saying anyone who disagrees is an ignorant fool. Well I begged to differ. That was the final straw and when she deleted me! I could have got really annoyed the day before when she kept making fun of my nation but I didn't... So this seems quite extreme. Her point of view is that I pick on everything she says.

SweetPea86 Mon 10-Feb-14 08:48:27

I feel I could argue with any one at the mo 31 weeks preg.

The lady (well I say lady) who lives next door to me seems to just shout at her kids and pets all day long. Even in a normal conversation she shouts so loud. It bothers me at the best of times but now I just avoid her because ill end up saying something. She's just got a new puppy and Sunday woke me up at 6 in the morning because from what i heard the puppy got on her bed so she screamed at it for 15 mins. Then the house went quite. So she went bk to sleep.

Plus I know she has a thing for my hubby lol always asking him to help her with stuff normally again doesn't bother me but now it does! As I noticed she would only knock when I'm at work.

So Sunday once it went quite again I made a point of putting the Hoover on at 7am sharp arghhhhhhhhhhh and breath smile

Cariad007 Mon 10-Feb-14 09:01:53

Helen I had an extreme animal rights friend too who refused to congratulate me on my pregnancy because she and her husband are against population growth and especially think that "carnists", ie meat eaters, shouldn't breed! She also stopped talking to me for months a couple of years ago when she found out I am not obsessed with stories about serial killers like she did - accused me of pretending to like the stuff she did and said she needed time to "deal with my betrayal." In the end I ended up unfriending on Facebook as life's too short!

SweetPea86 Mon 10-Feb-14 09:34:19

Caria sounds like your better off without her, fair enough what ever she belives in but you have every first to have a child.

Part of my thinks she was jealous better off without people like that in your life

SweetPea86 Mon 10-Feb-14 09:34:54

Cariad007 I meant to type lol

HelenHen Mon 10-Feb-14 09:58:09

Ok you two have had it much worse... Good job on the Hoover though lol. I don't know why it's upsetting me so much, she can be a bit of a bitch. She announced birth of ds1 on Facebook before hubby got Home to do so. She alienated sil at my wedding. All the time though ya just think it's her being her. Seriously cariad, people are that bad? shock I don't mind people being vegan but if you're gonna imply stuff like all farmers punch sheep in the face, well I'm gonna debate that lol. Ok I'm starting to feel a bit better now... It might not be me!

fifi669 Mon 10-Feb-14 10:29:18

This sounds like my Saturday night!

Both of my sisters have become vegan in the last year. The younger of them is quite outspoken about everything really but as she's been living abroad for quite some time the issue never came up.

So Saturday night at the pub with them and my stepsister and I'm on the hard stuff (diet coke). Middle sister (I'm the oldest), is talking about the future with her and her partner. She mentions that they'll be bringing up future children vegan. All I said was that it'll be hard for them, seeing the other kids eating cake, chocolate, ice cream etc.

Well it was on then! My sisters start ranting about how cruel everything is and that if we don't agree we must be unthinking, uncaring and uneducated..... Sigh. Well being the sober one I just said I didn't care about the animals full stop to try and stop the debate. My step sister made the mistake of saying she did care about the animals condition and eats free range etc just to be met with a barrage of abuse back that's she's a liar and couldn't care if she chose to eat them.

This went on for more than an hour. I would have just gone home, I def wasn't having fun anymore, but didn't want to leave stepsister on her own. Even when they said if you want to eat meat that's fine, but you have to respect we're vegan.... We said yeah that's fine. Little sis is like well it's not fine is it? You kill animals. Sigh.

mandbaby Mon 10-Feb-14 10:34:03

Mankind were BORN to be carnivores. Your "friend" is an imbocile! Caveman didn't go out to gather vegetables - they went out to hunt.

I'm the first person to get sad when I see a truck load of animals destined for an abertoire, but the first thing I'll order when out at a restaurant is a medium-rare steak or a leg of lamb. I love eating meat and couldn't give it up despite how upset it makes me to think of the process it has gone through to end up on my plate.

Just because you have a differnt opinion to your friend doesn't mean she should cut you out of her life! Sounds like you're better off without her!

FunkyBoldRibena Mon 10-Feb-14 10:36:16

Then she started posting stuff by a celeb who I can't stand but she would add a comment saying anyone who disagrees is an ignorant fool.

'So you admit you were an ignorant fool up until the day you turned vegan, I see. I suspect that trait doesn't disappear the first time you had felafel, unfortunately'.

I am veggie and have been for 30 years this autumn. I have seen and heard it all. Meat-eaters argue with me when I haven't said a word. Vegans argue with me when I haven't said a word. Self-rightness save the planet types bore me rigid. People telling me I should rail against this and that - zzzz. My stance is to grow and produce my own food and until you do that - you are still part of the system and part of the problem.

It's no good being vegan if you still buy it all from Tescos.

HelenHen Mon 10-Feb-14 10:46:02

Sounds like a horrible night fifi. Mandbaby I actually respect the fact that she's vegan but I can never just bite my tongue. If somebody posts something I disagree with, well I love a good debate but it seems nobody else does! I'd never drop a friend cos of a silly online argument. Sometimes the same person posts antagonistic stuff a few times and then they get upset when I bite and say I'm picking on them. It's happened a few times but they weren't people I knew very well so I didn't care. So yep, maybe it is me! I'm Irish you see and I think we're a bit more fiery! I'm living in England now and have been accused a few times of being a bully for speaking my mind. Maybe it's a cultural thing? Or maybe I am a bully? If it's the latter, that's not cool so I could do with figuring this thing out! sad

fifi669 Mon 10-Feb-14 10:51:25

We're all opinionated in my family.... We have Irish roots too smile

nosleeptillbedtime Mon 10-Feb-14 11:05:02

I think this is a vegan thing. I flirted with the vegan community for a while and there are some pretty intolerant views there for anyone who disagrees with them. As a new vegan your friend will have a lot of strong emotions and lot of upset at the way animals are treated. She will see animals as people, dog people, cow people, sheep people. She will not see the distinction between animals and humans that you do. So this will not just be an interesting debate to her. It will be very, very emotional. Imagine how you would feel debating with someone who was defending white supremecy or slavery or any issue you find loathsome. That is how your friend will feel. Having said that, I do think it is poor form for your friend to express her views yet be angry when you express yours. Still, I often hold my tongue to save a friendship, because people do get upset if you counter a deeply held conviction. You need to join a debating or discussion group to meet more like minded people op!

fifi669 Mon 10-Feb-14 11:24:58

Ha ha my sister did mention slavery when discussing veganism!

HelenHen Mon 10-Feb-14 12:36:31

A debating group would be great! In fairness though this IS a 'friend' who regularly made fun of the Irish famine to me, despite my making it clear that that's not cool... Still kept her as a friend though. She can clearly be offensive herself and she would admit that and laugh at it! Do you know, this probably is a good thing! None of dhs friends like her either so we could never get the two groups of friends together.

Oh dear fifi, you've got some fun times ahead of you lol.

SaucyJack Mon 10-Feb-14 12:45:00

I can start a row in an empty room at the best of times but right now I can probably count on one hand the number of people I am still speaking to............. angry wink

HelenHen Mon 10-Feb-14 12:58:25

Oh no saucy, that's not good! sad what's happened?

mel0dy Mon 10-Feb-14 13:51:12

We've only just started tellin

mel0dy Mon 10-Feb-14 19:08:57

Arg looks like my phone went ahead and posted an unfinished post earlier! Point I was going to make is that we've only just started telling people but I know for a fact some people are going to fall out with me cos on the subject of my pregnancy and my child I'm not going to bite my tongue.

HelenHen Mon 10-Feb-14 19:15:33

Haha I was wondering... Mine does that too! Pregnancy does tend to make ya a bit less tolerant and patient alright... I've less time for bullshit!

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