Too much pressure!

[Bridget14]

I had a m/c last April, and fell pregnant again I'm 30 weeks & 2 days :)

I didn't tell anyone until I was almost 14 weeks due to worrying incase it went wrong, ended up telling my family and they were all congrats we knew it, take it easy,

And from then on I have been told by my mother what to do and not do, to the point if I laugh with my brother or dad her reply will be "don't if she looses this one I'll kill you"

It's really hurtful because the fear is always there but I am trying to enjoy it! We have a 4yr old aswell who is fab and so is my partner, he doesn't really get my worrys or my angry rants but listens.

But when we went for our 20 week scan we wanted to find out but our little bundle didn't want to play and we didn't which was totally fine because we are not bothered aslong as baby happy and healthy!

But since 20 weeks I have had off my side ;
You know what your having and not telling
I'm so angry I don't know what to buy!
Why don't you go private and find out
What are you calling your baby, and the names we have chosen have been completely ripped apart, I don't like that that's a boys name not a girls, that's a bibles names, that poor bairn gonna be bullied! Then they slag it themselfs!

I have let it go and let it go,
We recently purchased some beautiful little knitted booties and I was a bit concerned incase they were girly and my family members reply was
"It's a boy an your not telling us! Lovely but boyish!"
Really broke my heart as thy are unisex! So now thinking if we have a girl will people think the same!

I wanted to put my sisters name in our baby's name if it was a girl, it was only talked about no choice finally made but my mother then went and told my sister! And I have ah nothing but what's the baby's name if it's a girl what's the middle name, I have started saying it won't have one and I get aw well that's not fair,

But the thing is I don't have a problem with putinf the name of y sister in but they are double barrling the name which I hate! Because it will not be like that! And they won't stop it!

To the point my sister is broadcasting that it's her name!

But tonight took the biscuit, I posted a picture of my pregnancy test which I found tonight (I have been doing a picture since 13 weeks so I have week by week bumps,) the test is pink,

I get a phone call off my mother tonight not pleased I ask what's wrong and she says

What's the sticks about, I ask what sticks (slightly confused) the pink sticks! I say aww there my pregnancy test,

"You having a girl an no telling us!"
No I try and explain that it's pink as they are all pink tests,
Then she goes on to say I need to explain myself to everyone because no one knows what's going on!

I'm so fed up now it's beyond a joke! I just want to enjoy my pregnancy I don't want to be constantly reminded about my m/c or being harriahed if it's pink or blue!

Everything we have bought has been criticised aswell!

My mum does a lot for us if I need anything she will always help but is far to controlling now!

I'm not sure if it has always been like this bit I didn't see it but now that I pregnant I'm seeing it!

Any helpful advise would be lovely I don't want to upset or hurt anyone but I just want to shout at them to shut up and I feel awful for wanting to!

[sunshinemeg]

For a start I wouldn't be telling them names as people are good at voicing opinions before baby arrives.

Stop giving information and they won't have things to comment on.

Otherwise I hope the next 10 weeks goes smoothly for you and you get a happy healthy baby to cuddle soon enough

[squizita]

Those comments about miscarriage are very unhelpful. There really is very little a woman can do (bar cutting out extreme sports and booze/smoking) to minimise risks - putting pressure on you over it is awful.

I agree with sunshinemeg keep everything under your hat. Steer clear perhaps - they might realise how 'full on' they are being and that you need your space.

[bugoven]

I have a wonderful, generous mother who I love dearly but also has controlling tendencies. I have found myself being honest about how I feel and putting my new found outspokeness down to hormones and maternal instinct whenever it offemds. I have found her to be much more agreeable and less opinionated since sounding off and she has even said the magical words "it's your pregnancy and your baby, whatever you chose will be the best way".

You really need as little pressure as possible, this baby growing business is hard enough as it is! Good luck X

[Bridget14]

Thank you for your advice :) I have started to keep things to myself but it doesn't stop the comments about how much we have spent on our pram, or cot set (from both sides of our family)

I am keeping things to myself and only telling a very close friend who couldn't be more lovely :) so it's nice to hae someone to share my happy times with other than my partner and son,

I'm going to sit down and explain how they are making me fell, I want to be happy it's almost over and the really fun exciting part starts,

I'm hoping it's just my hormones making me very snappy and that things will go back to normal,

I adore my mum she does anything and everything if you ask her but she has a very strong views on things,

X