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Visiting children's hospital while pregnanct?

(16 Posts)
Blondebrunette1 Mon 03-Feb-14 15:02:08

I am visiting my friend and her baby on the Neo-natal ward later but I've not yet told her were expecting as was hoping to last time I saw her but she had to cancel as her little one has been poorly. My mum asked is it ok to visit and I'm sure it is but my midwife never returns my calls or answers queries, what would you say? Xxx

Blondebrunette1 Mon 03-Feb-14 15:03:10

Please excuse spelling error in title I meant pregnant x

meditrina Mon 03-Feb-14 15:04:32

Why does our DM think it is inappropriate to go? Does the baby have an infectious disease? In which case yes, keep awa.

Unless this is a friend you only see once in a blue moon, if you weren't showing when you last saw her, you're probably not obviously PG now, so you won't need to do any news-breaking at this point.

Blondebrunette1 Mon 03-Feb-14 15:57:03

I am showing quite obviously I've been stopped in the school playground and at work, I always do. No I don't think it is contagious I think my mum was wondering if there may be other patients may be and I never even considered this and although i'm sure it's fine and dont mean to sound a bit neurotic i just thought id ask. I don't mind telling my friend it's just this time is not about me I am going to support her but at same time I don't feel I need to hide it (as she will prob want to know) so ill prob say if it seems right and doesnt notice. I was only stating she doesn't know because I'd ask her the q if I'd had chance to talk to tell her but saying that I don't want her to think I don't want to visit as I am really wanting to. X

Blondebrunette1 Mon 03-Feb-14 16:01:01

O I am 13 weeks btw with number 3 with regards to showing, I have seen her earlier in pregnancy but decided not to say then as we were just getting used to being pregnant and are only just telling people xx

MrsJK Mon 03-Feb-14 16:01:22

Hmm how many weeks are you? Can't see that it would be an issue at any stage mind you grin As you say I would probably save your news for another time and focus your attention on her/babe this time.

PlasmaBall Mon 03-Feb-14 16:04:09

I think you as a visitor (like all visitors) are a far greater risk to the hospital patients than they are to you.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Mon 03-Feb-14 16:09:29

I'm completely confused about your/your mum's reasons not to visit

Howrver, you're 13 weeks. You can't be showing that much. Just wear a baggy top and go. I do, actually, think if you're going - as you say - this is not about you. Therefore a bit of tact re not making her puzzle over whether you are pregnant or not and then have to ask or you waiting for the "right moment" which I highly doubt there will be, given the circumstances wouldn't go amiss

Blondebrunette1 Mon 03-Feb-14 17:35:18

It's not that confusing gobbolinothewitch my mum only asked if there were any reason i should not visit while pregnant, as when my grandparents were in hospital last time I was pregnant the staff advised not to visit the ward. This is a children's hospital however and I am sure its fine and I want to go and will do, my mother is not trying to convince me not to go nor does she have any other reason besides wondering could I come into contact with an illness that is not advised of on a ward. Like I already said my friends not going to be upset if I am pregnant and I am not going to march in there with a big sign saying 'I'm pregnant' but actually she is a great friend and would not be annoyed or hurt that I am having a baby possibly that ive not told her more. Her little one is doing great and should be home very soon I might add. I appreciate the help. It may seem a stupid question to some people I just did not know and wanted some friendly reassurance. X

elliejjtiny Mon 03-Feb-14 17:41:50

It should be fine. When DS4 was in neonatal nobody said pregnant women weren't allowed to visit although the rules there were parents, siblings and close family only, no friends allowed. But I'm assuming you already know that friends are allowed on that ward.

Blondebrunette1 Mon 03-Feb-14 17:51:56

I have just read that back gobblinthewitch and thought I'd add re you telling me to have some tact, I wouldn't usually rise to it but you have no idea of mine or my friends circumstances really. I am not going to make her puzzle and how do you know what would constitute a right time under the circumstances? I know these threads bring out odious attitude and people trying to make others feel bad all the time but seriously? I didn't need help with what I should tell my friend, u don't know her or me or what either of us has been through, our friendship or anything. You know I'm visiting my friend and baby in hospital, I'd like to know of there is any risk associated with wards and pregnancy and I can't ask her as I don't want to make her think I don't want to go and I've not yet told her I'm pregnant. I am not a selfish or inconsiderate person and I don't go out of my way to belittle others and im slightly annoyed ive given you this much of a reaction but Good luck raising nice children with your kind nature.

Blondebrunette1 Mon 03-Feb-14 17:53:00

Thanks elliejjtiny, yes I'm on the list but I think they are strict thanks for helpful response x

Gobbolinothewitchscat Tue 04-Feb-14 03:19:27

I've had a child in the neo-natal ward. I can therefore tell you with total certainty that this is not the right time to tell your friend.

If there are other "circumstances" that we should know about, then put them in your post. People can only comment on the information that you give

You've asked for advice and been given it. I really wouldn't post here if you just want people to agree with you - rather than actually give you advice to try and stop you making a hard time for your friend even more difficult - which I thought was the reason you were asking for advice? Obviously not

Blondebrunette1 Wed 05-Feb-14 07:53:12

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

elliejjtiny Wed 05-Feb-14 11:18:52

One thing I've learnt from having a baby in neonatal was that everyone's feelings about it are different. I didn't want to see anyone while DS4 was in hospital, I just wanted to stay in a bubble until I could bring him home. I definitely didn't want anyone visiting him other than DH and the dc's because my time with him was so precious and I didn't want to share it. Everyone is different though, the baby in the next cot to DS4 always had lots of visitors. OP, I'm glad your friend's baby has been discharged and that she's feeling positive.

Blondebrunette1 Thu 06-Feb-14 09:15:53

I can understand that elliejjtiny as i'd be similar with the exception of a few maybe, but I have another friend whos baby stayed in the hospital for a few weeks last year and everyone kept their distance from visiting out of presuming she & her husband would want space and when she was upset she said she felt let down and lonely that her friends hadn't visited and didn't seem supportive as they'd only text/called. So with this friend I was keen to say to let me know if and when she would like a visitor and not to feel obliged to invite me up because its understabdable if she didnt want to have anyone but her husband and family and to let me know if she needed anything at all. I think in this situation they have had some wonderful news and nothing is as bad as they prepared for so its a massive relief and my friends and I have visited since they found baby would soon be home :-). I'm just so pleased for her she'll be a fab mum. Thanks for sharing you experience x

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