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Please convince me 3 is a good number of children to have!

(18 Posts)
katster37 Mon 03-Feb-14 14:42:58

I have two DSs, 4 and nearly 3 - close age gap, found things pretty tough at times (two house moves, suffer pretty badly with anxiety at the best of times). DS2 will get his 15 hours from Sep, and DS1 will start in reception. Everyone keeps telling me "you'll get your life back! Hooray! Some time for yourself!" Which made me feel like crying - I will miss them so much and am really dreading it! I have always wanted, in theory, a third baby but the thought of the madness / pregnancy / blah has meant I can't imagine saying 'Right - let's do it." DH is in two minds - I think left to his own devices he would stick at 2, but he knows I have always wanted a third and has admitted I'll probably chew his ear off if we don't.....

To cut to the chase - I am not on the pill. We use the timing method, knowing full well it could fail, but over the years I have consistently ovulated on CD 17. Well, this month I ovulated on CD 13 and guess what - today 3 very faint BFPs. DH is pleased, I am in shock... I can't imagine how my parents will react (they always go on about how tired I look, how good it will be once I get some time to myself - I work evenings and weekends and look after my DSs in the daytime, so I AM tired a lot of the time). I think that is my biggest fear! That, and going through it all again / how will the DSs react / fears about the pg and birth etc etc....

Would someone like to offer me reassurance that a third will just slot in neatly, that the DSs will adapt perfectly and that everything will be absolutely fine???? Please??!?!

Blondebrunette1 Mon 03-Feb-14 14:58:02

I'm in the same boat as you and it was a shock too. It took me a few weeks/until now at 13weeks to get my head around it but were happy about it. Everyone we've told has been shocked in a nice way though you may be surprised at your parents reaction, mine are over the moon but were in silence the second we told them haha. You'll always love your babies no matter how hard it is, im thinking of hlw lovely it'll be to have a big family and as you know they grow so fast so I'm going to just cherish every second as its the last time. Have a great pregnancy. Congratulations.xxxx

katster37 Mon 03-Feb-14 15:01:36

Congratulations, Blondebrunette1. I suppose I was hoping I would suddenly not be broody and finally think, "Right, that's it - our family complete", but I don't think I ever will - have always imagined having 3! (Am an only child). Did you wait a bit before telling your parents?
It is still very early days for us, but I suppose if I am honest I would be pretty upset if I lost it. Eurgh, I hate being pregnant though!!!

Blondebrunette1 Mon 03-Feb-14 15:06:53

We did wait until 9 weeks yes :-) we didn't want to announce over Christmas though that's all. I was the same and in the end I feel like fate intervened and we were meant to have another as was a complete shock. I hate pregnancy too, I love scans and kicks etc but I get awful sickness and sleep lots :-( xxx

katster37 Mon 03-Feb-14 15:10:26

My mum is so neurotic, I think I'll wait until I'm 12 if possible! Although the fact that they come round for dinner once a week and we ALWAYS have wine is going to make this tricky...

velvetlilithi Mon 03-Feb-14 15:13:19

katster37: Don't worry. You'll manage the same as now. It will be harder and in need of more planning with 3 kids, but you'll make it.

I'm not in this situation, we're just expecting our first.
But my sister is due to have a 4th in just couple of days, so I know how you probably feel from her experience.
She's managed her three boys quite good and without any problems. Age of boys is 10,8 and 6. Now they're expecting a baby girl, so nice change.

You have to expect it will be tiring and little bit more stressful, but if you've wanted another, you'll always find a way how to sort things out.

And I think you don't have to worry about your kids not to take it well. It just needs a time to adjust. Just prepare them in advance there will be a baby you'll need to take care of all day every day and baby will be very tiny so will need a more attention from you. That's how we did it with my nephews. And it worked out well. The youngest is asking all the time when the baby girl will come and if he can take her for a walk in a pram :D.

Foxeym Mon 03-Feb-14 16:02:18

My DC3 is 15 weeks, my other 2 DCs are 15 & 12 and as you can guess he was a shock, especially as I'm 42 but I wouldn't swap him for the world now. He slotted in perfectly and I'm so glad I had him, even so we we are going to try for DC4 in a few months (even thought I hate being pregnant)!

katster37 Mon 03-Feb-14 16:12:57

Thanks everyone. Now done a fourth test, which was negative. I felt really gutted. It's so early, I am surprised it even showed up as positive this morning - I will definitely be testing first thing and hoping for two lines..

tiger66 Tue 04-Feb-14 11:41:39

Katster, how has the testing gone? I am 5 weeks pg with dc3 and am in the same boat as you although mine are a little older at7 and 5. Would love to keep in touch if you would. Hope the testing went well for you. Thinking of you.

mandbaby Tue 04-Feb-14 14:19:57

katster37 - I am in EXACTLY the same situation! I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant with DC3. I have a 4 yr old son and nearly 3 year old and they wear me out. Like your boys, mine will start reception and 15 hrs of nursery in September when DC3 is due, but I'm terrified I wont cope. I'm already exhausted and am constantly preparing meals, cleaning, ironing, washing, as well as trying to entertain my energetic duo.

My husband really wanted a third. I wasn't so sure, so I told him he had one shot at it. Well, he hit the jackpot. I was shocked, scared, amazed when I saw my very faint BFPs. Nobody knows yet, and like you, I think my parents will be like "what the hell are you thinking?!" especially as they look after my boys for 3 afternoons while I go to work. I think they're starting to think that come September time, they too will get a bit of their life back when my boys are at school/nursery, but in 5 weeks time I'll be springing this news on them!

MrsTomHardy Tue 04-Feb-14 14:32:32

I have 3 boys ages 16, 14 and 11 and in my experience 3 is a nitemare...4 wasn't an option as became a single parent but individually mine are all great, either combination of 2 are ok (ish) but all 3 together...jeez!!!!!

Maybe it would've been different if one had been a girl, I don't know, but 3 boys just fight and argue and wind each other up all blooming day!

I would say my middle ds has "middle child syndrome"...even though I've tried to treat them all equally...

When third ds was born it was all great...easily adapted to 3 but I would say by the time he started preschool at 2 1/2 years old that's when 3 became hard work indeed! Plus I became a single parent when he was 11 mths so who knows how I'd be feeling now if we were a 2 parent family!! smile

SophieWilson Tue 04-Feb-14 15:55:22

I'd love to have 3 children, it's always been the perfect number for me. But we'll just have to wait and see I guess.

siblingrevelry Tue 04-Feb-14 16:35:01

Like you I had my first two (boys) close together, and when they were 3 & 4 we had our daughter.

In my experience the early years with the two boys were the hardest-logistically having a baby & toddler is tough, so when third came along it was a nice change to experience having a baby all over again.

She's an absolute delight, and has fitted in very easily. We're far less stressed and anxious about things, she has no choice but to fit around the boy's routine, and so she's very laid back. The boys were a lovely age when she arrived, old enough to fully understand and be gentle etc.

I want number 4 but I've no chance! I'd heartily recommend having 3, and if given the choice I'd do my age gaps again as for us they were perfect.

hayesgirl Tue 04-Feb-14 17:28:18

I always wanted 3 - have 1DS who is 2 and now pregnant with twins! Wasn't quite how I'd planned it and took some getting used to but my dad (who has 6 children) informed me that once you've had 2 the 3rd, 4th etc doesn't actually make that much difference! : ) I am desperately clinging to this thought! Lol!

Monkeyandanimal Tue 04-Feb-14 17:33:31

I have 2 boys aged nearly four and 2 years old. They are lovely but a lot of hard work. I also have an 8wk old baby, who just fits in and is no additional trouble other than taking a little extra time to get out of the house. Once you can cope with two boys so close in age, a new baby in addition is a doddle! Be warned though, i found my last pregnancy hard going with the two boys such hard work. Once i had the baby though, things got easier! Go for it! have fun. 3 is a great number!

fivesacrowd Tue 04-Feb-14 17:41:25

Congratulations! I'm the youngest of 3 & dh is oldest of 3. We always wanted a 3rd baby so when ds was 13 months we thought about trying & were extremely lucky to get bfp 4 weeks later. Family were a bit surprised at first & there was lots of chat about how we'd a "gentlemans" family & the dc had a room each etc etc. 10 years on & 3 dc are hard work, but then so were 2dc. Third children are a revelation - she's feisty, independent, has known her own mind since day 1 & is harder work than the other 2 put together, but I wouldn't be without her in a million years!

MrsTomHardy Tue 04-Feb-14 19:38:15

Yes I agree with the third child being a third gives me the most grief, he's loud, lively, knows what he wants, stubborn and he's always been the one thats hardest to deal with emotionally.... And a few people I know say the same about third children....but who knows!!!!

tiger66 Wed 05-Feb-14 13:14:39

Thank you all you lovely ladies. You have made me feel better about my anxieties. I also need to stop worrying about what others will say. This is what we have always hoped for and I have always felt a space for another. Here's to 3! :-)

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