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Giving birth alone.

(58 Posts)
Shellywelly1973 Fri 10-Jan-14 18:11:41

I've known for most of this pregnancy that it would be very likely i will be on my own when I give birth. I'm 37+3. I was at the hospital today & the enormity of it hit me.

I will have to do this totally on my own. Carry my own bags & car chair. No one to hold my hand or get me a drink. No one to share my fear or joy...

I don't have any close friends here. Exdp doesn't want any involvement with birth, baby or our 3 other dc.

It didn't really bother me until today as Exdp was pretty useless during the other births. I really wanted a hb but it was so difficult to organise care out of the home for the older dc that it makes more sense for me to leave then the dc.

The walk today from the car to the hospital was quite painful & I realised I will do that again whilst in labour with a bag & car chair!

I don't know why I'm posting really as there's no point in being upset as it's the way it is...

It's lonely though. x

JsOtherHalf Sun 12-Jan-14 11:11:04

If is Calderdale hospital, then park at the back of the hospital. There is another car park, follow the signs for women and children's centre I think.

That was where I parked for ante natal appts, etc

Shellywelly1973 Sun 12-Jan-14 14:22:17

1 to 1 midwife scheme sounds lovely. With a previous pregnancy I had one mw the whole way through. She was mad & great fun as well as experienced. Unfortunately she retired a couple years ago.

I'm in London. Big teaching hospital. I'm sure the birth centre will be fine but I still feel sad I will never have a hb but it's logistically a PITA with the dc. It's only a few hours at the end of the day.

I've cancelled everything non urgent to do with work. I've got a really sore throat & rotten cold. My feet & legs are very swollen. I know i need to slow down.

I've done loads indoors the last couple of days so I'm slowly feeling a but more prepared!

HolidayArmadillo Sun 12-Jan-14 14:30:03

Ah, not my neck of the woods then but I wish you all the best and I know when I've had women come in on their own I've gone the extra mile for them.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sun 12-Jan-14 14:51:53

Suddenly another thought! This maybe completely impractical but any chance that your DS coukd take the little ones to a cheap hotel - travel lodge or similar - as a base so that you could have the house to yourself?

I know you'll probably go into labour at night so he would only really be bundling them out the door in the morning. If you're still at it post school, then he could take then out fir tea and to the cup inseam perhaps before going to the hotel?

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sun 12-Jan-14 14:52:04


Shellywelly1973 Sun 12-Jan-14 16:37:36

Ds wouldn't be able to manage the boys in that sort of situation. Due to their SNs their behaviour is unpredictable...

Good idea though. Thanks.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sun 12-Jan-14 17:25:40

Aaaah - sorry. Didn't think properly.

Do you think you might feel a but better if you looked round the MLU? Am wondering if you phoned to explain the situation if they would let you look round and also, at that stage, make a note to have a dedicated midwife available - maybe a student? - for support

BettyMacdonald Sun 12-Jan-14 19:57:48

Shelley I'm SE London. More than happy to help in anyway. I have 3 small boys and I'm a HCP. If you're anywhere near me then I really would do anything I could to support you smile

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