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Due date 9 days before family wedding

(16 Posts)
CrazyThursday Sun 08-Dec-13 17:09:14

My lovely stepsister s getting married next summer, I'm due with dc2 9 days before. I haven't had my dating (ie 12w) scan yet, so that could change... Though with dd my due date was put back 5 days.

The wedding is a 4-5 hour drive away and a stay in a hotel. DD is due to be a flower girl.... I'd hate to miss it and I know that ultimately have to see how things go closer to the time, but what do you reck our chances are of making it??? If I'm overdue then I guess it'll obv be a no-no, but lets presume I'm on time, easy birth etc etc.... Would you go with a 9 day old baby??

Cariad007 Sun 08-Dec-13 17:24:37

I wouldn't personally, but everyone is different. I imagine that after only nine days I'd still be knackered and in discomfort from the birth, and there's the bleeding too which may still be heavy. Could your daughter attend with another family member if you can't go?

busylizzie76 Sun 08-Dec-13 17:26:15

I would send dd with her dad. thanks

CrazyThursday Sun 08-Dec-13 17:32:00

DD might be able to go with my parents but I don't know if shipping her off out for the weekend (they would go for at least 2 nights) would be the best thing for DD (ie new baby a associated jealousy etc) and she'll only be 2.7 then so till quite little to be away for a whole weekend. On top of that the last time my parents had her overnight need up in a huge row as they basically undermined me massively over something huge (a whole nother thread). Additionally I'm not sure it would be fair to expect my parents to have the burden of a 2 year old at their daughter/step daughters wedding.

DH could potentially go overnight I guess....

With dd I was physically fine pretty much straight away, though emotionally a bit up and down.

Shit. I'll be gutted to miss it and feel guilty to my Stepsister too sad. Bugger our timing is well out..

getagoldtoof Sun 08-Dec-13 19:31:35

Hi crazy - I'm in the exact same position! Baby due 2 July, wedding three hours away on 12 July. First baby was five days after edd, but felt totally fine afterwards.

Would also need to take ds who would be 2.9, couldn't leave him - imagine how he'd feel...!

I'm uhmming and ahhing about this as would prob need to book a hotel etc. Really want to go, but then remember feeling quite self concious and as though I looked like a sack of crap for a few weeks after giving birth, so there's that, too.

Interested to see what you decide, and any advice you get!

Rockchick1984 Sun 08-Dec-13 20:01:35

4-5 hour drive with a newborn would basically take all day with stops for feeding and to ensure not in car seat more than 1-2 hrs at a time so make sure you're taking that into consideration!

I'd either send DD and DH or go by train so baby can go in pram, sling or sat on your lap as necessary.

Bloob Sun 08-Dec-13 22:07:02

No I really don't think I would. Sorry sad

4-5 hour drive would take all day. We did a usually 2.5 hour drive with a 4 week old and it took about 4 hours. It would be hell. If you're anything like me you'd just end up sobbing all day anyway! Trying to handle a 2 year old, feed, handle a newborn, talk to family etc is far more than I could cope with.
I also wouldn't want DH away for 2 nights that soon after the birth either!

I do think its an emotional issue as if you have a straightforward birth there's probably no reason why you physically couldn't do it. So it depends whether you think you could handle it.

CrazyThursday Mon 09-Dec-13 12:35:09

Oh gawd, I didn't even think about the car seat duration thing.... I totally forgot they aren't meant to be in them for much longer than an hour-ish.

rockchick the train would mean overground into london, then tubes across london, over ground the other side, then car hire to our destination. It would cost a fortune I think and I reckon would be a right palaver carrying everything in between train/tube changes. Plus I'm not sure I'd want to take my brand new shiny baby on a grotty tube! Though I guess we could cab it for that bit........

bloob you're right about the emotions. I remember nipping into town when DD was about 10 days old, standing in the M&S food court frozen like a deer in headlights and DH asking me if I was ok, it all felt very overwhelming to be out in the busy public after days of quiet at home - and that was even after we'd been out for the odd walk here and there.

I was also thinking that DH and DD could do it just overnight, but that is quite unfair on both of them as it'll be a mad rush and a long journey on both days.

Bugger bugger bugger DH was right when he said let's wait a while for number 2

Rockchick1984 Mon 09-Dec-13 12:38:13

DH never right grin

dotty2 Mon 09-Dec-13 12:46:27

We inadvertently did this to my poor SIL - date fixed before dating scan, which pushed her date back, and then she was 10 days or so overdue, with the result that her DD2 was 14 days old at our wedding. It must have been a nightmare for her (3 hr drive, small toddler in tow). However my PiLs were there to help, and she swears that it was a good experience and helped lift her out of the baby blues. She may just be being the politest person on the planet insisting that was the case.

CrazyThursday Mon 09-Dec-13 12:51:50

I was a day early with DD but as I said my EDD was pushed back by 5 days initally from all the online estimators. If that happens this time it'll be 4 days before I'm due.

What would be an acceptable newborn age to do such a journey/event? 4/6/8/ weeks??

Then what if I'm overdue??? There's no way I'd want to be apart from DH if I was late, and I'm not sure I'd risk being away from home when it happens.

Oh bums. DD was an easy enough home birth and I'm so keen for the same to happen again. I'm convinced reflexology and clary sage helped last time so I'll get on the case at 37 weeks exactly!! That would give me 4 weeks, which I reckon I'd be able to cope with emotionally at least, even if the logistics are still awkward.

CrazyThursday Mon 09-Dec-13 13:05:33

Sorry I meant if my date is pushed back the wedding will be 4 days after I'm due.

4thTimeLuckyWithBoo Mon 09-Dec-13 15:22:22

I would go, but I'm getting married 3 weeks before my due date... think I'm crazy!

Weegiemum Mon 09-Dec-13 15:27:17

Eeek if I'd got married 3 weeks before my due date with dd2 I'd have had a 1 day old with me!!

wispaxmas Mon 09-Dec-13 17:09:11

If you have an easy birth I don't see why you can take a wait and see approach? Obviously you would have to make a decision by the time she needs to give catering the final numbers (3 days before in our case), but a 9 day old baby would basically sleep the whole time, or nurse. You could always attend the day and bow out of the evening if you're too knackered.

My SIL's sister brought her 1-wk old baby to my brother and SIL's wedding, though they only had to travel 90 minutes, they still needed a hotel. It's doable if you commit to doing it, but you can't know how you'll feel until the baby comes!

CreamyCooler Mon 09-Dec-13 17:18:41

I went to a family wedding with a 12 day old that was 2 hours away. The wedding day bit was fine but sorry to scare you but the travelling etc brought on very heavy bleeding.

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