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Anyone else absolutely shitting it at the thought of being a Mum?

(79 Posts)
ccsays Sat 16-Nov-13 21:23:14

35 +1 with my first. As the due date draws closer I'm increasingly having an inner monologue of 'fuck, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, bollocks, shit, fuck, I'M NOT READY TO BE SOMEONE'S MUM, OH FUUUUUUCK'.

Anyone want to join me freaking out boat? blush

(Or anyone want to reassure me that it'll all be fine?)

weeblueberry Sat 16-Nov-13 21:27:41


And mine is 6 months old!!

PumpkinPie2013 Sat 16-Nov-13 21:31:13

I know where you're coming from!! I'm 38+4 with my first so only just over a week to due date and it's suddenly dawned on me that I'm going to have a little person who is totally dependant on me for everything eeek!!

I keep thinking - how will I know what to do, will I know how/when to feed/change/cuddle/play with/put to sleep? Will I cope with it all and manage or will I be a total disaster as a mum?

It's scary!!!!!

I should add that this baby is very much planned and wanted by me and DH. We have a nice home and both have good jobs.

But yeah I'm scared!!!! But also excited to meet our baby x

Tiptop32 Sat 16-Nov-13 21:45:36

Yep I'm 19 weeks and doing that - and I already have an 11 yr old!!!!!!!!!

Inapickle123 Sat 16-Nov-13 21:53:24

Absolutely shitting myself. It's just like having a puppy, right?

Pantomime Sat 16-Nov-13 22:41:15

Utterly terrified. I find it easier to think of myself as a parent than a mum. I can do the job I just don't want the title.

MatryoshkaDoll Sat 16-Nov-13 22:57:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

badfurday Sun 17-Nov-13 10:04:02

Yep, proper shitting it.
I'm only 20 weeks but went into kiddicare the other day to check out all the stuff I need. Its like learning a new language! Everyone in there seemed to know what they were doing like a secret club? Imagine my despair when I clapped eyes on something called a nipple brush......and then on closer inspection found out it was for a bottle not a tit.

moominleigh94 Sun 17-Nov-13 10:25:49

Yep. Only 17 weeks but I feel like I don't have the first idea how to be a mum. Knowing I'll be doing my third year of uni alongside being a mum is so daunting - all my friends are excited to have a little mascot but I'm bricking it, the thought of having full responsibility for a little human being at nineteen is scary but it helps that I know so many others have managed it.

MissingMyMarbles Sun 17-Nov-13 10:49:52

My children are 8 and 1.
You'll be fine.

Freshnclean Sun 17-Nov-13 10:52:58

Be prepared for it being the hardest time, both mentally and physically, of your life.

Get as much help after the birth as you can.

RedCountryRoads Sun 17-Nov-13 11:32:24

I'm 7 weeks gone. Planned with my Husband. I'm cacking it. It's very scary. I don't feel grown up enough to be a mother!

ccsays Sun 17-Nov-13 11:36:59

Eep, thanks for the reassurance, fresh confused

Mine was planned too red, but my initial reaction to a positive pregnancy test was still one of shell shocked terror.

whereisthewitch Sun 17-Nov-13 11:43:08

I felt that way throughout my whole pg with ny DD, I can't actually ever remember being excited just petrified!
I'm not going to lie becoming a parent is a huge shock to the system, your whole life is turned upside down! has so many rewards, I now have a gorgeous 2yo snuggled up against me watching tv and she is the funniest, sweetest person I've ever met in my life.
And she's going to be a big sister in a wee while.

Your life will change, you will be tired, you will be stressed but you will be so unbelievably blessed too.

bruffin Sun 17-Nov-13 11:44:51

I think if your not worried about being a parent then your not ready to be one.

Freshnclean Sun 17-Nov-13 11:59:52

Sorry cc, just wanted to add it is stressful and hard work but it does get easier and the love you receive back is wonderful.

All the best to all the mummies to be smile

havingastress Sun 17-Nov-13 12:04:45

I'm stressing as DD1 will only be 15 months when this next one arrives!

At least if this is your first, you can rest/sleep when the newborn sleeps! grin Honestly, newborns are easy grin you'll be fine!

Anothermrssmith Sun 17-Nov-13 12:27:21

Yup,I'm 28, hubby 29 both in good jobs, pretty secure financially and baby very much planned but still feel like a 14 year old. We went to buy curtains the other day, came home with curtains and a rail but forgot to check the curtains were wide enough and didn't buy the brackets to hang the rail from the wall. We can't go to bloody ikea without it turning into a farce, and don't get me started on the inevitable disaster anytime we have to drive somewhere we've not been before...

Why did we think this whole baby thing was a good idea?

Trinpy Sun 17-Nov-13 12:59:40

I'm only 20 weeks and not too scared about having a newborn (though I would be if there was no mumsnet to rely on!), but the thought of having a toddler, primary school aged child or teenager terrifies me! What if it hates us? What if we screw the poor kid up for life and it ends up a homeless drug addict?? What if we can't afford a child even after all the many, many calculations we've done that show we'll manage? And we end up losing our home and have to live in a horrible bedsit somewhere with a damp problem!!!

And breathe...

ItsAlli Sun 17-Nov-13 13:04:26

I was terrified when I found I was pregnant in the first place and a few weeks ago we found out we are having twins!
So... I can pretty much say am utterly terrified of the idea of becoming a mum of TWO!!! I think it's absolutely normal though, as this is my first pregnancy, so I think time will help...

firemansamsmam Sun 17-Nov-13 21:20:31

I freaked out before having DS too, couldn't stand the buying and preparing bit! It seemed so weird.

But my experience and my two closest friends experience is this... Be prepared that the first 8-10 weeks will be insanely difficult, but that it is completely normal to find it so hard (especially if you bf and find it difficult). After that, when sleep settles down and bf finally gets easier, you'll start enjoying it and then it will just get better and better all the time. (With occasional dips into despair/anger/frustration/fear!)

People aren't lying, it really is the best thing in the world being a parent. Honestly, it really will be fine... And if you're ever feeling like it isn't, make sure you get plenty of support from your mum friends and supportive HVs, etc who understand whAt you're going through.

Booklover81 Mon 18-Nov-13 13:07:55

I am totally bricking it - im 14+2 and already a big bag of anxiety about anything from labour to whether i will be able to afford Sky Tv when im on maternity. People have been so generous and donated stuff to us and its weird having it in my house - almost like i think 'what have i got that for?'
It was planned but nevertheless a total shock. every twinge pain and symptom has me freaked and reaching for my book or to text my experienced friends. I worry about schools already, whether my child will like books, want to support the same footy team as us or whether they will like to read a lot like me, what if they grow up hating the name ive given them - i just cant stop!!!!!!!! the very thought of labour brings about the beginnings of mild panic - i cant think or talk about it. Being someone who has never been in hospital (touch wood) or even had a tooth out or a filling the idea of it terrifies me. What if im crap at being a mum - i could go on and on and on....

Booklover81 Mon 18-Nov-13 13:09:04

so glad i read this thread - i was starting to feel so guilty about my feelings!

Mogz Mon 18-Nov-13 13:17:41

38 weeks today, feel ready to pop but in no way ready to be a real, actual mum! I mean we've got all the stuff, my DH has been amazing throughout a very hard pregnancy and our family and friends are simply amazing and so supportive but BLOODY HELL what am I actually meant to DO with a tiny, completely dependant life form!??! And what about my life, there's a million and one things I want to do! Then I start feeling all tears and bad because I'm being selfish. It's all just culture shock though, right?

Charingcrossbun Mon 18-Nov-13 14:21:48

I'm with you ladies; this is scary stuff. I think in many ways it's less the totally dependant life form and more the being a Mum thing that scares me!
I was in a restaurant last week and there was a large group of mums and dads with some loud and screechy children. A woman recognised them and came up introducing herself as "Joshua's Mum" - her child wasn't with her....surely she had a real name? I felt terrified at the thought of my identity crumbling and being defined just by the totally dependent life form...... Is that normal?

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