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At what stage did you tell work that you were pg?

(82 Posts)
Mitchell2 Fri 01-Nov-13 11:01:40

In a bit of a quandary - am 7+4 today and really not feeling the greatest. I am on the verge of telling a select few at work so I can take it a bit easy WFH etc. I don't have any concerns re reactions to it - e.g. I know that I am not going to be discriminated, they will be v supportive etc but I just feels a bit wrong telling them so soon as the old rule of thumb is after the 12 week scan.

Oh and we are also going to be doing our planning for 2014 in the next few weeks and my absence is going to be material so I kind of want to be able to share this with at least a few people so we can plan effectively.

Interest to hear what others did and why....

fl0b0t Mon 04-Nov-13 09:26:25

PS marriedinwhiteisback
1. I work a full day with a 2 hour commute each way- so yes my drs is open until 6pm but I'm never home by then- so getting an apt would have involved a day off. Having said that I could have worked from home in my job and just gone to the drs, or just gone anyway as they have to let you have time off for a dr appt (?) anyway, but just highlighting that it's not that easy for everyone. Most people I know work in a manner which means a dr appt is difficult to book outside of work time.

2. I had about 4 dr appt in one week to get myself antisickness medication- they don't just like to give you a prescription for these things and you have to be quite persistant. And if you have a lovely easy healthy pregnancy then you won't need many dr appts, however there are many out there less fortunate who end up having a lot of appointments.

3. Sorry to hear about the loss of your baby- I know people who have told work at 7 weeks and miscarried at 8, and those who have told work at 16 weeks and miscarried at 26weeks- so really the 12 week rule wouldn't help in these situations.

4. There are a huge range of jobs out there that may need duties altered due to pregnancy. Just because you might hae been able to carry out your duties as normal does not mean it's the same for everyone else! I know people who work with chemicals (photography labs), heavy lifting (retail), risky encvironments (mental health patients), sport jobs etc so there's a huge number of factors that may effect when you tell your boss and whether you need your duties changed slightly!

wm3010 Mon 04-Nov-13 09:26:26

I told my boss at 7 weeks, mainly because I had been feeling so awful that my work rate had dropped right down and I was getting myself in a total state about that. I felt better once I had told, it made me a lot less stressed as I knew he wouldn't be unkind enough to moan about how I wasn't doing as much work as usual when he knew why. Also felt it would be a lot easier to tell if anything went wrong and I needed time off rather than having to tell/untell in one go. Told other colleagues after 12 week scan.

Thewhingingdefective Mon 04-Nov-13 09:50:38

I had IVF which some people at work knew about, so I told about my pregnancy at the six week viability scan. I just felt better with it being out there, especially as I felt anxious and think it reflected in my work.

marriedinwhiteisback Mon 04-Nov-13 11:06:44

FlObOt that was very defensive and if you reread my post you will see that I carefully noted "unless there are health and safety issues" and unless the doctor notes reasonable adjustments. Are you seriously saying that you can't make a doctor's appointment first thing or last thing to minimise your time off work; instead having to take a whole day off for a 10 minute appointment.

Thurlow Mon 04-Nov-13 11:39:55

Married, that was 20 years ago. Nowadays in a lot of areas you see a mw not your GP. Mws often only run clinics at specific times. There's not always a lot of flexibility.

And as another HG sufferer, "how many do you need nowadays fgs?" - well, a hell of a lot actually when you're puking your guts up and might be in and out of hospital. And you aren't going to wait a week until there is an 8.30am appointment when you can get a 2.30 appt that day. Or lets imagine you don't actually live and work in the same town, so even an 8am or 6pm appointment needs time off work.

Threads like this are nearly always started by a poster who a) is in a job where their duties and tasks need changing, or b) suffering from something like HG which kicks in early and horrifically.

No need for a "fgs", which is why I imagine FlObOt was in your mind defensive. Everyone's pregnancy is different.

All I can really see is, why on earth shouldn't a woman tell her work before 12w? It's not a law that you have to wait till 12w. If you like your work and have good relations with your colleagues, you can tell them. I find it quite odd that you are so stridently against telling your work.

Mitchell2, hope you start to feel better soon.

Ilanthe Mon 04-Nov-13 13:12:30

I told my lovely supportive boss (who knew it was coming anyway, I'd been very open with him about wanting another DC) at 6wks because I felt so awful and it was definitely affecting my work. He said he wasn't surprised and then came with me to my next meeting just in case I had to back out. He was brilliant all the way through the pregnancy, even when I had to phone him on New Years Day to tell him I was in threatened prem labour and likely wasn't coming back.

I told everyone else the day after my 12wk scan. Lots of people said they had wondered given that I was looking a bit podgy round the middle and distinctly green around the gills.

fl0b0t Mon 11-Nov-13 22:44:17

Marriedit's the 'fgs' which suggests exasperation at anyone making a different decision to you, when in likelihood, that decision is taken out of their hands. Put yourself in other people's shoes and read what I've written! Thurlowis right. If I get an 8 am appt, I can get to the station by 9 am. Which means i have to wait for the 9.20 an train which would get me to work around 11am at the earliest. Which would mean not leaving work until half seven at the earliest and probably not getting home until half nine or so at the earliest. Which when you are pregnant and suffering hg is not a barrel of laughs!

Tell your work when you have to our want to

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