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Should I take my toddler to my 20wk scan?

(44 Posts)
happygelfling Fri 23-Aug-13 13:38:07

My toddler will be 23 months old when I go for my 20 week scan with baby nr 2. DP and I would really like to take her along to involve her in the pregnancy, but we are a bit worried that she will just fidget / play up and it will be a nightmare.
Does anyone have any experience/suggestions?
Thank you in advance!

Twinklestarstwinklestars Thu 29-Aug-13 11:25:18

I wouldn't, I took ds2 to a couple of growth scans as I knew they'd be quick but didn't to 20 week scan. I got told ds3 poss had enlarged brain ventricles and possible hole in his heart which luckily was wrong but glad I didn't have ds1 and 2 there.

candr Thu 29-Aug-13 10:43:49

Took my DS 22mandlovedseeing him get excited at seeing his baby brother. He sat with DH and had some cars to keep him quite. The sonographer was fine with him. Had him at another scan(am having lots of scans)and different sonographer said "make the boy sit down" when he was standing silently next to my dad. Did not endeer me to her! Have had no choice with taking him sometimes but always take snacks etc to keep him quiet.

happygelfling Mon 26-Aug-13 08:36:57

Our hospital's guidelines are pretty vague... Something along the lines of, "well behaved siblings are ok but children who are distracting the sonographer will be asked to leave."
A private scan later on is a good idea. If we think she would be interested nearer the due date we could try that.
Thanks again for all the helpful responses!

littleducks Sat 24-Aug-13 20:45:42

I did worry about it but took toddler dd to my scans with ds and both of them age 5 and 7 to 20 wk scan with this baby. I managed to book 12 wk scan when they were at school but 20 wk one fell in holidays.

I did prep them that they might have to sit alone in waiting room (and at their age they had books to read and would be fine to do this). However sonographer was happy for them to come in and they did.

I have to be regularly admitted to hospital (hyperemesis) and they never come then (therefore dh never comes either) which is a bit grim and lonely for me but the best for them. So I suppose I felt an outpatient appointment was ok for them to come to.

Lion5711 Sat 24-Aug-13 20:31:36

My partner and I took our 2 yr old, in fact didn't even question it even though we certainly didn't think of it as a "jolly". I had possibly naively thought well if anything wasn't to plan then the only people I would want we're my partner and son, maybe that's wrong? We took heaps of snacks and books, and he was fine- you know your own child, but maybe a backup adult in waiting room would be a good idea?

Yonididnaedaethat Sat 24-Aug-13 16:16:11

I took my 15 month old to my 20 week scan, but I made up a tub of cut up fruit to keep him quiet and took some chocolate, he got fed up near the end tho and wanted to pull at wires.

Doctorbrownbear Sat 24-Aug-13 14:06:13

It can take a long time and would be pretty boring for a 23 mth old. I doubt that they would understand enough to appreciate it.

CrispyFB Sat 24-Aug-13 13:48:16

For DC2 and DC3 we did a 3D scan later on, as that's much more interesting for them. Even then our 2 year old got bored after approximately ten seconds and our 4 year old was not much better!

They just don't understand it like an older child would.

Having said that I have absolutely zero choice over taking DC1 (nearly 7) to a 10 week scan next week as it's still school holidays and DH has to work.. the other two we paid for extra nursery time. Sometimes it is unavoidable.

LovesBeingOnHoliday Sat 24-Aug-13 12:37:21

MarianaTrench I'm so sorry, I do think unless you have been affected like this you don't appreciate what tge scans really are for.

I feel tge same about all tests during pg, tge potential outcome is never considered

Bluetinkerbell Sat 24-Aug-13 10:00:13

I wouldn't.
My hospital didn't allow it and I was very happy they had that policy.
As I was told at my 20 week scan my DD2 had died. It was the worst thing ever telling my DD1 her little sister wasn't going to come home. This was 2 years ago.
We have been blessed with a beautiful rainbow baby DD3 now.
But scans in her pregnancy were extremely stressful!

MarianaTrench Sat 24-Aug-13 09:49:11

As someone who was told at the 20 week scan that my baby wouldn't survive I was very glad I didn't have DD with me. I would not have wanted her to see me that upset and having left her with someone else gave me chance to compose myself.

I wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy and it's thankfully quite rare, but it does underline the diagnostic nature of the scan and that it is not just a meet and greet.

RhinestoneCowgirl Sat 24-Aug-13 09:46:05

Went with my mum & dad to my 20 week scan with DC2 (think DH was away). Good job I did - as soon as we approached the doors of the maternity unit toddler DS had a major paddy and refused to go in. We then had to wait about 45 mins as they were running late.

I sat in the waiting room with my mum whilst my dad took DS for a walk around the grounds.

ChristineDaae Sat 24-Aug-13 09:39:17

I've decided against taking DD to our 20week scan. She's 3. As long as everything is ok I will book a 3d scan later on for her to 'meet' the baby

AnotherStitchInTime Sat 24-Aug-13 09:32:24

I did with dd2, but this time I have arranged for DH to look after dd1 and 2 while I go alone.

This is mainly because I have an appointment with the consultant following my scan and having several hours with 18 month old dd2 being strapped into the buggy while I wait is not going to end well.

At the 12 week one another toddler woke her up from her nap just as we were about to go in to the scan and she screamed inconsolably the whole time sad

Some people do not have an option, but if you do I wouldn't take her or have DP ready to take her out and distract her if necessary.

froubylou Sat 24-Aug-13 09:17:01

I took DD and DP to my 20 week scan. Though DD is 9 so not a toddler.

I thought long and hard about it. She really wanted to see the baby and I felt it would be good for her to see the baby as she hasn't been that happy about being a big sister.

I explained to DD that as well as finding out whether it was a boy or girl that the baby would also be checked over and that everything was growing OK. As we entered the room and the sonographer noticed DD I said to her 'This is DD who has come to hopefully meet her brother or sister BUT she knows its all about checking too so if there is anything you need to check more carefully just let us know and DP will take her back through to the waiting room while you do checks'.

That way the sonographer knew that she could 'get rid' of DD if necessary and DD and DP knew they had to leave if asked.

I would allow a younger child to attend with the proviso that I had someone there who was willing to leave the room with them if necessary. And I'd make it clear that this could happen to the sonographer as well to give them a 'get out' clause if they did need it OR if the child was misbehaving.

LovesBeingOnHoliday Sat 24-Aug-13 09:16:00

If you have too then be prepared; toys snacks etc.

At my last 20 week scan my mum was telling him what a fabulous and happy job he had, I had to remind her it wasn't always good news. You'd think she'd have understood this after the amnio I'd had not long before.

poocatcherchampion Sat 24-Aug-13 09:07:31

I did, but not in fun bonding way but just in the same way she comes to the doctor, dentist and bank. some toys and snacks to distract her and we kept her in her pushchair. baby is born now and dd1 is only 17 months, I didn't really buy into the bonding thing for them - dd is too young IMO.

Xmasbaby11 Fri 23-Aug-13 23:00:54

Oh no, I really wouldn't. We had to take DD (18mo) to 12 week scan and it was a nightmare. We had to wait half an hour and she was getting restless. In the room, She wouldn't stay still and DH had to leave the room with her and missed most of the scan, which he was really disappointed about. I think the 20 week scan is much longer, as well.

The good news is, the scan picture is really lovely to show your DC. DD kisses the photo and says 'baby' whenever she sees it!

SaucyJack Fri 23-Aug-13 21:33:24

Don't take her if you don't have to.

It's a medical procedure, not a meet 'n' greet.

Livvylongpants Fri 23-Aug-13 21:32:57

We took DD to both scans at 18 and 20 months, she was good as gold but she didn't gain anything out of it. The sonographer said it was fine but if she was playing up shed be asked to leave which I respect.

Saying that she would be to young to understand what was being said, and had there been a problem DH would have whisked her away

PicklePants Fri 23-Aug-13 21:23:39

I took DS to mine recently and wished I hadn't! He's 2 and didn't give a monkeys had no idea what was going on. We did ask beforehand and the sonographer was happy for him to come in, but he was bored and fidgety and DH spent the whole time wrangling him.

In hindsight - not a good idea!

happygelfling Fri 23-Aug-13 21:09:46

Thanks for all the helpful responses. There's a very clear message coming through!

CheeseFondueRocks Fri 23-Aug-13 21:02:50

Oh, and at the 12 week scan, there were plenty of children around.

CheeseFondueRocks Fri 23-Aug-13 21:01:41

DD (19 months) will come to mine. Not because we see it as a chance for her to see the baby but because we have nobody to watch her. Our hospital is fine with this however and I think different hospitals have different rules.

Beamae Fri 23-Aug-13 20:34:57

I have taken my twins, now 23 months, to every scan and appointment. In the scans we did offer at the start to take them out of the room if they were disturbing the sonographer but nobody really minded.

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