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Anyone about to start mat leave with a toddler to look after...

(10 Posts)
BungleGeorgeAndZippy Thu 01-Aug-13 13:17:46

Just started mat leave and this morning was a nightmare. Toddler had a screaming fit as she wanted to wear her winter duffle coat's 31 degrees here. Managed to get to a playgroup for the morning at least and she's napping now, so fingers crossed there'll be so,e peace but getting very very nervous about the new baby arriving and coping!

BlackholesAndRevelations Tue 30-Jul-13 09:09:12

In my experience it's much easier when the baby is out! Being heavily pregnant with a toddler is very hard work. At least when it's born you're more physically capable (besides birth recovery/c section if you have one).

I'm doing it again so it can't have been that bad! This time will have three under four...

sarahleanne Tue 30-Jul-13 07:07:47

Hi I'm also just reading through for advice as in November I will be in the same boat . My eldest is 5 so will be at school but I'm petrified of the school run everyday. My daughter will be 2 yrs and 2 months and I'm dreading maternity leave but also looking forward to it .
Baby is due in January, I don't know how I will cope but I guess we all just will somehow haha. My husband works away about 2/3 weeks of the month aswell in a different country so I don't even have his support . I must be totally crazy smile

Xmasbaby11 Mon 29-Jul-13 23:07:26

Hi OP. I will be you in a few months, 2 year age gap! So no words of reassurance but just to say I am nervous about managing the two as well, especially when very tired from night feeds. I plan to have activities planned and to keep DD in nursery 2 or 3 days a week. I imagine she will be delighted to have more time with mummy (I work full time). I also plan to introduce DD to TV by then. She isn't interested at the moment, but I am desperate for something to keep her in the same room as me instead of running after her around the house!

I also feel very emotional about how DD will cope with the sharing and also how I will cope with a tiny baby I will also love dearly. I wonder if it feels very daunting but actually is better off just taking one day at a time.

Try not to worry - you sound well organised and it's normal to be emotional - having a baby is a big big thing! x

BungleGeorgeAndZippy Mon 29-Jul-13 22:01:14

Thank you all for the calming advice. beaches you sound like a superhero - 2 children and twins due this week! I must sound like a wimp compared to you.

I have created an activity planner so there's always something to take the toddler to, but am nervous about so stressed and nothing gets done or we go out anywhere. Worried toddler will be bored and she'll miss nursery and her friends.

I feel very emotional tonight.

DontAskIDontKnow Mon 29-Jul-13 20:39:15

I'm getting quite pregnant now and work part-time, so 2 days a week it's just me and my 2 1/4 yr old. It's getting tough. By Monday I'm glad to be back at work.

Is there anywhere nearby that you can visit that has a train? Or you could even just take the bus somewhere. Toddlers all seem to love public transport. Otherwise, lots of books, so you can sit down. I've been spending quite a bit of time lying on the lawn and getting covered in leaves. Go to a busy cafe for a cup of tea, or even lunch (no washing up).

beachesandbuckets Mon 29-Jul-13 20:22:50

Ok, will try to think of some helpful advice. Firstly, I found being pregnant with a toddler 1000 times more tiring and hard work than having a baby and a toddler. At least you can leave a baby in a seat, or a Moses basket, not so easy when its in your tummy!
You actually forget that, apart from the sleepless nights, babies are quite undemanding compared to a toddler, they just lie there and don't ask loads of questions. We actually can't remember much of dc2 being a baby, she just sat in her chair happily watching the toddler prance around.
Other advice:
Get out. I was at a toddler group 2 days after the baby was born, and at a national trust property the following day. Would have never done that with pfb! Everyone giving toddler attention and lots of space for him to run around and toys to play with.
TV is your friend. It won't kill your toddler to watch it, he has had lots of time with your undivided attention. I was really precious about limiting TV time when he was a baby, but it didn't hurt him when I was tired from night feeding.
Ask friends/grandparents etc to look after toddler for a bit so you can have a kip.

Good luck. I am trying to work out how I now deal with two dcs and two newborn twins which are due this week!!!

Breadrollsbuns Mon 29-Jul-13 19:31:17

Hi, I'm 35 weeks and DC1 is 17 months - I have no advice as am in the same boat but am marking my place for advice smile

Andanotherthing123 Mon 29-Jul-13 19:30:21

Hi, I had same age gap as you and took mat leave at a similar time before having DC2. I also kept DC1 in daycare 2 mornings a week, which was great. Just use that time to sit down, watch telly or whatever it is that you find relaxing before baby arrives.

My best piece of advice is use a pram - toddlers are at their worst when you're pregnant when they're running free range out and about as they need someone quick on their feet with endless energy. Don't go out without one. I found it relaxing to know that when DC1 was in his pram when we went out and about, he was safe. When DC2 arrived, I used a double buggy for similar piece of mind. We used to go out after lunch for a peaceful stroll around the block and even tho some days it was all we managed, I felt like I'd achieved something.

You will be fine I promise - it's challenging to be pregnant with toddler and again once baby's born but you'll soon settle in and get you own routine and ways of making it manageable. You'll even find yourself enjoying it at times!

BungleGeorgeAndZippy Mon 29-Jul-13 18:34:08

....and nervous about it? Am 37 weeks and dc1 is almost 2. Going to work ad dc1 being in nursery seems so much easier than looking after toddler and being heavily pg.

Toddler will be in nursery 2 days a week so I get some rest but nervous because I can barely shuffle about am so huge.

Then after the newborn arrives I'm petrified of being able to look after a newborn and toddler. Is it easier to look after a baby and toddler and not be pg or heavily pg and just 1 child?

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